Post by: IKV Nemesis D7L on May 05, 2004, 10:10:54 pm
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:17:26 pm
Almost as funny as the "Borg Sue Apple Over Cube" story, except that one is real
http://www.lowendmac.com/rumormill/2k0802.html
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 10:34:45 pm
Post by: Kmelew on May 05, 2004, 10:38:30 pm
"And in other news, the American Association of Apple Growers has petitioned the Justice Department to investigate Microsoft's 'monopolistic practices' in the apple growing industry. Said spokeman John Doe, 'Consumers deserve choice. Why should they be forced to buy Microsoft's Golden Delicious when they really want a MacIntosh?'"
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:45:21 pm
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 10:50:00 pm
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys
Sirs:
Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.
With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:
Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.
As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.
We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.
Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]
pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:57:30 pm
Linux Kernel delayed by Microsoft's army of evil monkeys!
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 11:03:24 pm
Post by: IKV Nemesis D7L on May 05, 2004, 11:09:23 pm
An oldie admittedly.
Post by: Sirgod on May 05, 2004, 11:20:42 pm
Stephen
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 11:21:53 pm
Post by: Ravok on May 06, 2004, 12:36:02 am
I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys Borg spokes drone You guys are nuts!!!
Post by: Sirgod on May 06, 2004, 12:38:46 am
Quote:
You guys are nuts!!!
we are not here to entertain you. Prepare to be assimilated. Press the any key to accept out demands.
Stephen
Post by: Ravok on May 06, 2004, 12:50:23 am
You will soon all bow to me RAVOK LORD OF THE EVIL MONKEY ARMY!!!
Post by: Praxis on May 06, 2004, 01:17:47 am
Post by: IKV Nemesis D7L on May 05, 2004, 10:10:54 pm
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:17:26 pm
Almost as funny as the "Borg Sue Apple Over Cube" story, except that one is real
http://www.lowendmac.com/rumormill/2k0802.html
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 10:34:45 pm
Post by: Kmelew on May 05, 2004, 10:38:30 pm
"And in other news, the American Association of Apple Growers has petitioned the Justice Department to investigate Microsoft's 'monopolistic practices' in the apple growing industry. Said spokeman John Doe, 'Consumers deserve choice. Why should they be forced to buy Microsoft's Golden Delicious when they really want a MacIntosh?'"
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:45:21 pm
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 10:50:00 pm
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys
Sirs:
Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.
With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:
Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.
As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.
We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.
Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]
pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:57:30 pm
Linux Kernel delayed by Microsoft's army of evil monkeys!
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 11:03:24 pm
Post by: IKV Nemesis D7L on May 05, 2004, 11:09:23 pm
An oldie admittedly.
Post by: Sirgod on May 05, 2004, 11:20:42 pm
Stephen
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 11:21:53 pm
Post by: Ravok on May 06, 2004, 12:36:02 am
I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys Borg spokes drone You guys are nuts!!!
Post by: Sirgod on May 06, 2004, 12:38:46 am
Quote:
You guys are nuts!!!
we are not here to entertain you. Prepare to be assimilated. Press the any key to accept out demands.
Stephen
Post by: Ravok on May 06, 2004, 12:50:23 am
You will soon all bow to me RAVOK LORD OF THE EVIL MONKEY ARMY!!!
Post by: Praxis on May 06, 2004, 01:17:47 am
Post by: IKV Nemesis D7L on May 05, 2004, 10:10:54 pm
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:17:26 pm
Almost as funny as the "Borg Sue Apple Over Cube" story, except that one is real
http://www.lowendmac.com/rumormill/2k0802.html
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 10:34:45 pm
Post by: Kmelew on May 05, 2004, 10:38:30 pm
"And in other news, the American Association of Apple Growers has petitioned the Justice Department to investigate Microsoft's 'monopolistic practices' in the apple growing industry. Said spokeman John Doe, 'Consumers deserve choice. Why should they be forced to buy Microsoft's Golden Delicious when they really want a MacIntosh?'"
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:45:21 pm
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 10:50:00 pm
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys
Sirs:
Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.
With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:
Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.
As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.
We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.
Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]
pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D
Post by: Praxis on May 05, 2004, 10:57:30 pm
Linux Kernel delayed by Microsoft's army of evil monkeys!
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 11:03:24 pm
Post by: IKV Nemesis D7L on May 05, 2004, 11:09:23 pm
An oldie admittedly.
Post by: Sirgod on May 05, 2004, 11:20:42 pm
Stephen
Post by: Stormbringer on May 05, 2004, 11:21:53 pm
Post by: Ravok on May 06, 2004, 12:36:02 am
I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys Borg spokes drone You guys are nuts!!!
Post by: Sirgod on May 06, 2004, 12:38:46 am
Quote:
You guys are nuts!!!
we are not here to entertain you. Prepare to be assimilated. Press the any key to accept out demands.
Stephen
Post by: Ravok on May 06, 2004, 12:50:23 am
You will soon all bow to me RAVOK LORD OF THE EVIL MONKEY ARMY!!!
Post by: Praxis on May 06, 2004, 01:17:47 am