Dynaverse.net
Taldrenites => Dynaverse II Experiences => Topic started by: Hexx on July 26, 2004, 08:10:13 pm
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Having noticed that J'inns name has changed yet again, I was thinking that we should get a collection of one line quips to describe him gathered here.
Then maybe once a week (or every day.. even hour if you get bored) someone can get into his system and change it.
Maybe have some sort of "prize" on GW3 for who comes up with the best ones...
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Have you been playing in the 'nip' again?
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Uhm....
"Have Rex, Will' carry"? ::)
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How 'bout, "I break for asteroids"? (http://members.surfbest.net/sfb76279@surfbest.net/Images/Smilies/wink.gif)
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Im gonna laugh my ass off when you guys have the Deputy show up with the court summons.
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Im gonna laugh my ass off when you guys have the Deputy show up with the court summons.
On what charge? Public Disturbance Due To Excessive Laughter? :)
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Im gonna laugh my ass off when you guys have the Deputy show up with the court summons.
On what charge? Public Disturbance Due To Excessive Laughter? :)
No, for F'in with a lawyer who has a wife that likes to shop ALOT and that just came back from a shopping trip in FLorida. Boys gotta pay off the plastic somehow!
Im quite sure that J'inn, being both an IRL lawyer AND an SFB/SFC lawyer can think of SOMETHING to charge em with!
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AJTK,
You forget the number one rule of suing people...
You don't sue POOR people. ;D
Hard as hell to get blood from a turnip. ;)
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awww.. even a lawyer needs a valid charge to be able to do this.. ;)
.. heck.. isn't it true that even demons have to follow the law of their contracts to the letter? ;D
-- Luc
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Somewhere . . . in the Capitol of the Free World. In a non-descript building sitting between The Palm and a famous Gentleman's Club . . . .
A wrinkled hand with long fingernails slides across an old oak desk. Past the candles burning in their gargoyle holders. It seems to have an odd nervous twitch. Something about HAVING HIS LAST NERVE PLUCKED!!! to be sure.
It grasps an old tome. TORTS 'R US, by J'inn is written on it's spine.
"Underestimate me will they," a cackling voice utters. "Let's see . . . Incest, no, Investment Fraud, no, Ink Spills on Your Neighboors Linens, no. Here we go . . . Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. Yes, I feel distressed. <sniff> Very distressed."
A hideous cackle is heard through the halls of the old building.
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No, for F'in with a lawyer who has a wife that likes to shop ALOT and that just came back from a shopping trip in FLorida.
How about defamation of character (OK that would be a strech) or liable?
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How about something to do with honesty? Oh, pardon me. I forgot what profession we were talking about. ::)
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How about something to do with honesty?
Yeah like, "Jinn, The <cough> Trusted <cough>
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I think you've all forgotten his most dangerous threat. Even if he can't sue you, his profession still puts him in continuing contact with less-than-savory people; who now owe him favors.
J'inn threatened:
I have ways of knowing exactly where you live and exactly how much it will cost to send an escort service to your house when your wife is home. A male escort. In drag. Complaining about your overdue account with him/her.
-S'Cipio
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honesty
:rofl:
*gasp*
*wheeze*
*cough*
*ACCCCKKKKK* <coughs up hairball>
Oh that was a good one. I feel much better now.
Honesty. BWAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHAH!
Silly humans.
Next they'll say something about "truth" BWAHAHAHAHAHAH Man, I love you pink hairless little midday snacks. You crack me up. I don't care what Green sez about you. Yer okay.
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Next they'll say something about "truth" BWAHAHAHAHAHAH Man, I love you pink hairless little midday snacks. You crack me up. I don't care what Green sez about you. Yer okay.
Feds are friends, not food! :lol:
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Perhaps a reprint of some material for inspiration is in order.
The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on
How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
How many lawyer jokes are there? Only One. The rest are true stories.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50 ? Your honor.
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
;D
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True story: Southampton (UK), being a university town, has it's fair share of pubs. Well....the Union had to replace the 18-hole pub crawl with a 36-hole one (including Jesters, the third worst dive in Britain)
Two of the pubs? "The Crooked Lawyer" and "The Bent Brief". On the same street. Two doors apart. Neither popular with the legal department...
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Yeah, but you'll be happy to know there's a pub here in Ottawa .. right here in the market in fact... called "The Honest Lawyer".
http://www.fyiottawa.com/cgi-bin/niveau2.cgi?s=club&p=38782.html&a=1
-- Luc
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I TOLD you, hahahahha!
Youve at least got a computer and $20 a month for an isp, more than enough for J'inn to get back a few pounds of flesh, lol!
Yeah, J'inn, what DH said. Freds are ALLIES. Although a Fred vs Mirazinti server would ROCK. Specialy if it was an early server to represent the original Fred vs Mirazinti war... Slow drones, crap fighters... ahh yes!
Honest and Lawyer in the same thread? <snicker>
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Yeah, but you'll be happy to know there's a pub here in Ottawa .. right here in the market in fact... called "The Honest Lawyer".
[url]http://www.fyiottawa.com/cgi-bin/niveau2.cgi?s=club&p=38782.html&a=1[/url]
-- Luc
Fantastic bar if you're in the Nation's Capital :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-Even if the name is something of an oxymoron.
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Yeah, but you'll be happy to know there's a pub here in Ottawa .. right here in the market in fact... called "The Honest Lawyer".
[url]http://www.fyiottawa.com/cgi-bin/niveau2.cgi?s=club&p=38782.html&a=1[/url]
-- Luc
Fantastic bar if you're in the Nation's Capital :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-Even if the name is something of an oxymoron.
*eyes Hexx suspiciously*
*runs to check the bushes outside for signs of Hexx stalking*
*looks to FireSoul*
You and Strafer haven't been bringing home strays have you?
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Yeah, but you'll be happy to know there's a pub here in Ottawa .. right here in the market in fact... called "The Honest Lawyer".
[url]http://www.fyiottawa.com/cgi-bin/niveau2.cgi?s=club&p=38782.html&a=1[/url]
-- Luc
Fantastic bar if you're in the Nation's Capital :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-Even if the name is something of an oxymoron.
*eyes Hexx suspiciously*
*runs to check the bushes outside for signs of Hexx stalking*
*looks to FireSoul*
You and Strafer haven't been bringing home strays have you?
Nah, he's just from Halifax...
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Actually born in Halifax, moved to Ottawa when I was thirteen, now back in Halifax .
I (don't really) get around...
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I think you've all forgotten his most dangerous threat. Even if he can't sue you, his profession still puts him in continuing contact with less-than-savory people; who now owe him favors.
-S'Cipio
Scip, that implies he actually won a case. Trust me ... we're safe.
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I think you've all forgotten his most dangerous threat. Even if he can't sue you, his profession still puts him in continuing contact with less-than-savory people; who now owe him favors.
-S'Cipio
Scip, that implies he actually won a case. Trust me ... we're safe.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol: :rwoot: :rwoot:
LOL ahh my new favourite quip...
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I think you've all forgotten his most dangerous threat. Even if he can't sue you, his profession still puts him in continuing contact with less-than-savory people; who now owe him favors.
-S'Cipio
Scip, that implies he actually won a case. Trust me ... we're safe.
SNARL!!!
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Somewhere . . . in the Capitol of the Free World. In a non-descript building sitting between The Palm and a famous Gentleman's Club . . . .
A wrinkled hand with long fingernails slides across an old oak desk. Past the candles burning in their gargoyle holders. It seems to have an odd nervous twitch. Something about HAVING HIS LAST NERVE PLUCKED!!! to be sure.
It grasps an old tome. TORTS 'R US, by J'inn is written on it's spine.
"Underestimate me will they," a cackling voice utters. "Let's see . . . Incest, no, Investment Fraud, no, Ink Spills on Your Neighboors Linens, no. Here we go . . . Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. Yes, I feel distressed. <sniff> Very distressed."
A hideous cackle is heard through the halls of the old building.
Ah J'inn you forgot the Volenti non fit inuria defence ;)
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Somewhere . . . in the Capitol of the Free World. In a non-descript building sitting between The Palm and a famous Gentleman's Club . . . .
A wrinkled hand with long fingernails slides across an old oak desk. Past the candles burning in their gargoyle holders. It seems to have an odd nervous twitch. Something about HAVING HIS LAST NERVE PLUCKED!!! to be sure.
It grasps an old tome. TORTS 'R US, by J'inn is written on it's spine.
"Underestimate me will they," a cackling voice utters. "Let's see . . . Incest, no, Investment Fraud, no, Ink Spills on Your Neighboors Linens, no. Here we go . . . Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. Yes, I feel distressed. <sniff> Very distressed."
A hideous cackle is heard through the halls of the old building.
Ah J'inn you forgot the Volenti non fit inuria defence ;)
HEY!!! You keep out of this! I had to go dig out a Black's Law Dictionary for that one! Nothing worse than a Kzinti lawyer, I swear! GRRRRR! How it got under that stack of Las Vegas magazines and the Larry Flint reading section is beyond me. Damn law library is a mess.
To the point however:
Quit defending these unwashed holligans. I have not consented to this abuse!
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Quit defending these unwashed holligans. I have not consented to this abuse!
Hey. Didn't you click on "I Agree" when you joined the forums? :)
Didja read the fine print? :)
-- Luc
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Quit defending these unwashed holligans. I have not consented to this abuse!
I take my learned friend's point and withdraw the defence of "voluntary assumption of risk"
Love the Mall Mule ref though :)
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On the other hand, he's probably been in contact with lots of unsavoury people who don't owe him any favours...I think we can still enter a plea of vis-ne faciem capite repletam ;)
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Yeah, but you'll be happy to know there's a pub here in Ottawa .. right here in the market in fact... called "The Honest Lawyer".
[url]http://www.fyiottawa.com/cgi-bin/niveau2.cgi?s=club&p=38782.html&a=1[/url]
-- Luc
Well if you gotta be in Ottawa you might as well as be drunk ;D
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Yeah, but you'll be happy to know there's a pub here in Ottawa .. right here in the market in fact... called "The Honest Lawyer".
[url]http://www.fyiottawa.com/cgi-bin/niveau2.cgi?s=club&p=38782.html&a=1[/url]
-- Luc
Well if you gotta be in Ottawa you might as well as be drunk ;D
HEY!
I *live* here!
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where did "Lord J'inn" GO!!!???
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where did "Lord J'inn" GO!!!???
Scared off by the ultrasonic squirrels from Stephen's thread perhaps?
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where did "Lord J'inn" GO!!!???
"Oh Lord. ::) J'inn."
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Yo J'inn why not try the title "This space for rent"?
You might could turn the whole fiasco into a money maker......
Of course as your agent I get 20%
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20% of the abuse, coming right up ;D
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20% of the abuse, coming right up ;D
Bring it one no problem I can defend myself,
Yet to find my equal when it comes to forum abuse although I'll give honorable mention to
Gwarlock and Croup.
All others are severly deficient.
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20% of the abuse, coming right up ;D
Bring it one no problem I can defend myself,
Yet to find my equal when it comes to forum abuse although I'll give honorable mention to
Gwarlock and Croup.
All others are severly deficient.
"Brave words. I've them before... from thousands of species across thousands of worlds since long before you were created. Now...they're all... OWN3D!!!"
-Borg Queen (creative adaptation)
;D
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Good stuff.
Props to everyone and also to J'inn for being one hell of a good sport.
Oh, J'inn, did you ever get a chance to nail the doc's secretary?
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J'inns newest Legal Case...
(http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/images/pearls2004072149415.jpg)
Stephen