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Taldrenites => Dynaverse II Experiences => Topic started by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:18:11 pm

Title: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:18:11 pm: Yes it's true! Following through on his promise to Kzinbane, Sockfoot logged onto the Khrohomag Test #1 server as a Lyran!
The other Lyrans on the server get a big kick out of seeing "Lyran Sockfoot" take his FF, the "Galactic Lawnboy" out for a spin.

He is drafted by Nomad, who is to shepherd him through his first baby steps in his new catfeet. All goes well and then ... WHAM ... Lyran Sockfoot CTDs.

Undaunted he logs back on and pulls a solo mission, a patrol, for some on the job training. The poor pirate LR stands no chance as the "Galactic Lawnboy" closes in with ESG blazing! WHAM! ESG tears down his shields and does significant internals in combination with the disruptors and phaser fire follow up. The LR is 1/2 dead in one pass!

Lyran Sockfoot then notices he must turn down not just one but TWO capacitors on a Lyran FFin order to acheive a speed somewhere over 8.

He widens the ESG sphere to "2" and closes in for the kill! WHAM! Pirate is smoking now and Lyran Sockfoot is stealing spare parts. He then swings a wide arch and finishes off the stricken LR with a burst of disruptors and phasers. Success! No more LR and Lyran Sockfoot earns his first 150 prestige points as a Lyran!

Feeling pretty good about his first action, Lyran Sockfoot returns to the map only to discover a full server lockup ejecting him from the server before his mission is reported to the server!

Alas, two missions and two crashes! Lyran Sockfoot feels a little dejected.

But he will be back for seconds!

Sockfoot ... er ... Lyran Sockfoot

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Delta One
Ensign posted 11-21-2001 10:12 PM
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quote:
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He widens the ESG sphere to "2" and closes in for the kill! WHAM! Pirate is smoking now and Lyran Sockfoot is stealing spare parts.
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Hehe classic

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NuclearWessels
Ensign posted 11-21-2001 10:21 PM
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Hey, welcome aboard Sockfoot!
Try to get out of the FF and into almost anything else. In the same price range the MP is a much better ship - two esg's you can trickle-feed instead of the FF's second useless disruptor. As you get a little in the bank go for the DWLP and the CWLP. Very nice ships!

dave

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-21-2001 10:46 PM
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Episode Two
Lyran Sockfoot logs back into the server with a look of determination on his face. He will fly and score prestige as a Lyran if it takes all night!

Lyran Sockfoot begins to look for a mission. He finds a patrol and takes it with grim resolve. He will succeed!

The bad man is a Mirak, Lyran Sockfoot's arch enemy! Lyran Sockfoot knows he must destroy him at all costs! His fingers dance across the keyboard with all the grace of a ballet dancing hippo, but he soldiers on!

As they close, the meannastyugly Mirak begins to shoot Lyran Sockfoot with his mean nasty disruptors. At this moment Lyran Sockfoot is made keenly aware of how paper thin the shields are on his FF, but he is undetered! He closes and lets fly with his trusty ESG!

There is a dreadful tearing noise as the ESG hits home! Lyran Sockfoot follows with disruptors but wisely saves his phasers for point defense against the retailiator mean nasty drones from the meannastyugly Mirak! He scoots away and checks his foes status bar. Lyran Sockfoot is more than upset at the general lack of damage he has inflicted upon the meannastyugly Mirak. In fact it seems that poor Lyran Sockfoot has only made the mean nasty ugly Mirak angry!

Then the meannastyugly Mirak lets fly with his mean nasty disruptors and phasers. Poor Lyran Sockfoot now begins to wish for his mother as his rear shields prove even thinner than the front ones and his trusty ESG is the first system to completely fail! Lyran Sockfoot now resolves to kill the meannastyugly Mirak or die trying!

Lyran Sockfoot has trouble remembering exactly what happened over the next several minutes, but he awakens from his killing frenzy to find the meannastyugly Mirak dead at the hands of his trusty ESG which somehow got back into working order!

Lyran Sockfoot is happy. Tired but happy. The meannastyugly Mirak is dead and Lyran Sockfoot can afford another ship, a CL+, which he buys without a clue in the world as to whether it is any good or not. He just knows that the "Galactic Lawnboy" is a death trap and he wants out of it so bad he will fly anything with more than 15 power!

Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Lyran Sockfoot!

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jdmckinney
Ensign posted 11-21-2001 11:21 PM
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LOL -- if I'd been around, I'd have warned you away from the CL+ and steered you toward a nice DW or something. Frankly, I haven't flown a CL in forever, but it always seems wanting when you're in a CA hull with weakish shields, not quite enough point defense, and the rest of the general lameness of a standard CL.
By the way, I saw your crash, alt-f4ed, and then found my computer uncooperative upon trying to reenter the server. First I got in, but realized the alt-f4 had messed up my system enough so that the game wouldn't accept my keyboard input. I logged out and restarted my machine, only to find I was freezing whenever I tried to access server 1. I eventually restarted yet again, got into server 1, and found I was all alone. I reluctantly left my CC+ behind and went to server 2, where I have a fair, but uninspiring, MP+. I fought a battle in a nebula, which is always interesting for Lyrans (what do you do when you have no ESG?). I found I could run at speed 18 or above the whole time, and made more drones miss than could hit, luckily. After a good 20 minutes, I actually had the Z-DF down to the point where it slowed to something under speed 22. By the time I finally finished it off, I had enough minor damage that I spent 9/10ths of my points for the mission on repairs. Oh well, at least I found a way to make the AI a challenge.

Nomad

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-21-2001 11:55 PM
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Episode Three
While waiting for his new CL+, Lyran Sockfoot resolves to again venture forth into the void with his FF the "Galactic Lawnboy." He takes an ambush the enemy mission and reverts to his former Klingon self, sabre dancing with his disruptors and phasers, while leaving the ESG off for a kill shot later. This strategy seems to work. That plus the Lyran DD which comes up behind Lyran Sockfoot's quarry combine to reduce the bad man to ashes in just under four minutes!

Enboldened by his success, and the fact that his new CL+ is still in the paint shed getting that final coat of no scratch finish yellow paint he ordered, Lyran Sockfoot decides to press on further into the void!

To his great chagrin he finds he has pulled an accept or forfeit monster mission. Knowing his FF, the "Galactic Lawnboy", when piloted by himself is no match for even the Cookie Monster, Lyran Sockfoot decides, reluctantly but valiantly, he must take the mission and try his best!

And what have we here!? Ah, what a sight for sore eyes! A Lyran CA and a CA+ appear in mission with him to aid him against the wickedevilbad monster! Now Lyran Sockfoot knows he is playing with POWER and not just playing with himself! (Uh, that didn't come out the way Lyran Sockfoot intended it to, did it?)

The two heavy cruisers proceed to make chop suey out of the wickedevilbad monster but not before Lyran Sockfoot adds insult to injury by landing a range 15 disruptor blast on the hapless wickedevilbad monster!

Lyran Sockfoot greedily collects his prestige and to his delight sees that his new CL+, the "Galactic John Deere" has appeared all shiny and ready to mow down the competition! Lyran Sockfoot drops the "Galactic Lawnboy" like a hot rock without so much as a good bye. Now his enemies will have to shoot him TWO times to get his shields down!

Lyran Sockfoot takes his first mission, a patrol, in the "Galactic John Deere" and, when he sees the double green line shields appear around him, feels as impregnible as an iron chastity belt! (Once again, not quite the right expression. Lyran Sockfoot must be getting tired.)

The poor Hydran CL is no match for the "Galactic John Deere" and its TWO blazing ESG's. The match ends in just 3 minutes with Lyran Sockfoot recieving a whopping 225 pretige points. Lyran Sockfoot prudently decides to return to base for the night to sleep on his success and plot his next move.

Stay tuned!

And now a word from our sponsors.

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KBF-Kor
Ensign posted 11-22-2001 12:28 AM
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That's right, Socky...keep practicing your skills with those growling, good for nothing, might as well be a paperweight ships. You'll need it for Friday night, 'cuz your cat-ass is goin' to be a hooowwwwlin!!!!
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Chancellor KBF-Kor
IKV Sephiroth
Klingon_CW@hotmail.com
Kor@blackfleet.net

"Strength and Honor!"
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"A man once said 'Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.'"

[This message has been edited by KBF-Kor (edited 11-22-2001).]

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Mog
Ensign posted 11-22-2001 03:55 AM
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Nice stories Sockfoot
You may not be aware but Lyrans have the ability to launch 2 shuttles at once - so a good tip is prep 2 suicide shuttles and drop them on the enemy on an overrun for 50 extra damage. Lyrans require mastery of many factors, but, once you have mastered them , they can deal mucho damage out

I have found that on occasions, I can finish a patrol mission in 2 - 3 minutes, which is on par with the drone 'em to death 'ers

NuclearWessels is right though, the trimaran (War) hulls are the best by far of the Golden fleet, and they appear quite early on also (2268 ish)

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Merriment Is All

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Skawpya
Ensign posted 11-22-2001 04:05 AM
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One little bit of tactics to keep in mind, with a Lyran you have a number of energy hogs, the ESG, the phasers, speed, and the disrupters. These take energy away from your much needed shield reinforcement. So if you know you wont to use speed or disrupter, or wont need the ESG or phasers again soon, turn them off, or slide them down. Net result, less power wasted on something you dont need, and your shields will thank you. With disrupters, if you go in for a lawnmower or weedwack, fire them at range 15, or 8 if overloaded, then turn them off which depending on the ship will give 2 to 12 extra points of shield reinforcement when you get close. Just remember that when shield reinforcement is no longer needed to switch power back into the weapons
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Kzinbane2
Ensign posted 11-23-2001 08:10 PM
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Yep, the key to Lyran flying is constant tweaking of sliders, ECM level, weapon on/off buttons and charge level (OL or normal dizzy).
Hope to see you in a "real" campaing some time!
Welcome to the Gold,
Kzinbane
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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-24-2001 09:44 PM
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Episode Four
Lyran Sockfoot is discouraged. His CL+ "Galactic John Deere" differs only from his previous ship "Galactic Lawnboy" in size and in its ability to withstand many more internals. He begins to think maybe he just wasn't mean to have golden fur after all. He lets out a discontented sigh.

But, ever the trooper, Lyran Sockfoot muddles on in "Galactic John Deere." He is fortunate to draft many AI allies as he continues to play Lyran like two 300 pound women wrestling in a pool of pudding; a whole lot of grunting and pushing with no results that anyone would be interested in seeing.

It is only by his stupendous good luck that he achieves enough prestige to purchase a DWL (or something like that) which he names "Galactic Case/IH." Now, at long last, is a ship so capable even a "ham handed" Lyran Socky can fly like a champ!

Lyran Sockfoot learns where to set the capacitor on his two ESGs so that one is always fully charged. Now the meannastyugly Mirak AI can no longer blast down his shields with one shot!

Lyran Sockfoot is now flying with the confidence he will be able to fly TWO WHOLE MISSIONS without returning to base to replace his spare parts! And even (dare he even think it?) venture outside the boundaries of Lyran space!

Lyran Sockfoot's initial runs in "Galactic Case/IH" are successful. He garners much prestige and is no longer afraid of the "monster under the planet" mission as he manages to slay one in his new ship. Lyran Sockfoot is starting to think that maybe he might be able to do this after all! Is that a smile creeping onto Lyran Sockfoot's face?

Then, just for a hoot, Lyran Sockfoot decides to look in the ship yard, and, lo, there it is! A BCPF (or something like that)! Anyway it is a big ol' ship with FOUR ESGs and, (Lyran Socky begins to hyperventilate with excitement) PSEUDO FIGHTERS! Yes, psuedo fighters just like the great Long Nail himself! Lyran Socky is really happy now!

But wait. Lyran Sockfoot has the prestige for this leviathan, but he doesn't know the slightest thing about psuedo fighters. He pauses. He wants desprately to be like the great Long Nail! But he knows just a little more than squat about flying Lyran ships. What good are psuedo fighters if you get the mother ship blown out of the air?

Oh what to do! Lyran Sockfoot is now completely stressed out about this decision. He should just buy a regular CA+ and learn to fly that, but .... Oh bother!

What would the great Long Nail do?

Then Lyran Socky thinks harder. More ships, more targets. Maybe the distraction of the psuedo fighters will give him a chance to score a few more shots on the enemy before he has to flee. Hmmmmm!

And before he can talk himself out of it, Lyran Sockfoot buys the BCFP! Now he will emulate the great Long Nail himself! Er, well, maybe emulate the Great Long Nail after a skiing accident has place both of the Great Long Nail's hands, arms and upper body in a cast forcing the Great Long Nail to play with his feet on the key board and work the mouse with a stick tied to his nose, but something like the Great Long Nail none the less!

Lyran Sockfoot proudly names his new ship "Intergalactic Harvester" and then promptly parks it in a stardock so as not to damage it or, more probably, lose it scant minutes after he receives it. He logs off the server, with a twinge of anticipation!

Later Lyran Sockfoot returns to the server after preparing and stuffing a turkey. (This is a looong story and Lyran Sockfoot is too tired to tell it right now. Suffice it to say, Lyran Sockfoot went 12 rounds with a 20 pound butterball and the butterball won a unanimous decision.) As he fires up his computer and loads his version of EAW, Lyran Sockfoot's hands are fairly shaking with glee and anticipation! Only moments until he takes to the void like a true Lyran!

But wait! What's this?! Lyran Sockfoot cannot log onto the server! He howls with rage! This after all his effort is too cruel a twist for poor Lyran Sockfoot to bear! No "Intergalactic Harvester!" No psuedo fighters!

Lyran Sockfoot slumps into his chair too dejected to speak. All he can do is wash his golden fur and wait for the next time.

<Sighs>

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Gook
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 04:40 AM
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Ok Socky, just got on the Fun server, I'm Lyran, my ships name is "Dozer" can you guess what it is
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KAT-Gook
KZ/Mirak MOD CW5
KZINTI Hegemony,
"Felix Fortius"

We are the Kzinti Assault Taskforce. Resistance is futile. Your Distinctiveness <burp> will be added to our palate (C)
KAT-Fleet

[This message has been edited by Gook (edited 11-25-2001).]

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Squiggy
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 04:48 AM
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quote:
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Originally posted by Gook:
Ok Socky, just got on the Fun server, I'm Lyran, my ships name is "Dozer" can you guess what it is

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I know! I know!

It's one of those little green guys from Fraggle Rock.

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Skawpya
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 05:19 AM
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hmmm sorry I forgot to mention that our cl is probably the most underplayed ship in the game, most of us stick with dd's until dw's or cw's or ca's are available
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:20:56 pm: Lt. Commander Kuja
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 05:22 AM
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quote:
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Originally posted by Skawpya:
hmmm sorry I forgot to mention that our cl is probably the most underplayed ship in the game
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Most races CL's are pretty pathetic, I know I stay well away from the Mirak CL.

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Currently Commanding the
RIS Aaliyah
For the Romulan Empire

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ZTempest
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 06:41 AM
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Socky,
This is probably one of the most entertaining threads on this forum right now.

I played Lyran for a while during Rooks Tavern...and now you've given me the itch to play it again.

Can't be a meannastyugly Mirak all of the time

Keep it coming, and thanks for the humor.

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J'inn
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 08:08 AM
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Dear Warrior Sockfoot:
I understand you are on loan to the Lyran Empire. I have to admit I'm a little lost at the requirement that you wear a Lyran suit while on duty. (Faux Fur naturally, we wouldn't want to be Non-PC). The Lyrans are weird.

Well as you may have heard I'm on loan to the Klingon Empire. Something about the Extermination of Traitors and the Dishonored Program. When brought to my ship all of my crewmen were in shackles. Admiral Dogmatix then thanked me for providing them with a quick yet glorious death. You Klingons are a little odd, and I have no idea what he was talking about.

Anyway, I was calling for some pointers. Primarily, how is it you guys get all this leather armor on without chafing? It's really rubbing my fur the wrong way. But I feel so rough and tough. Grrr! **snicker**

Secondly, how do you Saber Shuffle? When I asked Gow he came at me with a dagger and had to be restrained.

And finally, why does my crew insist on calling me Captain Charon?

Thanks buddy. Oh, BTW, enclosed please find that instructional file you requested on how to use a litter box.

Klingon with a litter box!! **snicker** **ahem** sorry Socky.

Have fun. Watch for fleas.

Yer Pal,

J'inn

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 09:22 AM
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J'inn
Thank you for the pointers on litter box ettiquette. With regards to the fur, how do you keep it from getting all matted and stuck to ... er ... maybe I'd better email you that question.

For me, Johnson & Johnson's baby powder kept the leather armor from chafing. Not only did it prevent chafing, but I was the best smelling Klingon in the fleet, which, to be honest, wasn't a respected achievement now that I think about it.

The proper term for the Sabre Shuffle is "The Sabre Hustle." Get yourself a copy of the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack and try to fight in time with the beat. Gow is a little testy about the whole "Sabre Hustle" thing ever since Chancellor Kor told him he could no longer do the "Sabre Bustop." As for the knife attack, I'm sure that was just a test of your combat reflexes or something. <Ahem>.

The whole "Captain Charon" thing is a term of endearment. The fleet used to refer to me as "The Albatross." You know, the fleet mascot! That just means they love you! Klingons are notoriously unable to express their warm and fuzzy feelings verbally so they do it in subtle ways like knife attacks, disruptor blasts, kicks to the head or cute little nicknames! Have they done the one with the pain sticks to the crotch yet? That was their favorite way to say they loved me! They would just laugh and laugh! And the harder I struggled and cried, the harder they laughed!

Whew! Boy do I miss those guys! Well, all except for Dogmatix. He was a little too rough with that pain stick. And after someone shouts "Get out of my fleet you baby powder smelling, P'Tak" while jabbing you in the groin with a pain stick enough times you start to wonder if he is really kidding or not!

<Socky takes a big sniff of catnip, his new substance to abuse of choice>

So have fun with the fleet! And its good to know someone is filling that all important role of fleet mascot while I am on leave.

And Chancellor Kor, thank you for the warm send off of the box of fleas and the "Don't you dare come back here in my lifetime" card. I LOVE YOU TOO!

Lyran Sockfoot

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 02:54 PM
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Episode 5
It is with great excitement that Lyran Sockfoot learns that the Krohomag test servers are back up and running. Now he will get to play with his new ship and <salivating> his psuedo fighters!

Lyran Socky has already determined he should name his two psuedo fighters something appropriate. Twins they are so they should have twin names. Mary Kate and Ashley! Yes, that is the ticket! "Intergalactic Harvester" and its psuedo fighters "Mary Kate" and "Ashley!" Only for a moment does Lyran Socky ponder the fact that he has heard these names somewhere before. But no matter! Tonight he soars (kind of) like the great Long Nail (well, maybe like the great Long Nail with a bad hangover and one eye taped shut.)

He gleefully fires up EAW and attempts to log onto Test 1. To his great chagrin he finds that he cannot! Oh, cruel fate! To be this close only to have glory snatched from him at the last instant!

Lyran Sockfoot begins to weep bitter tears but then he thinks, "Well, look on the bright side. You haven't lost a mission or spent a spare part as a Lyran in 4 days!"

Lyran Sockfoot now feels a little better. He decides he should log onto Test 2 and give that a try. It will mean a return to the FF, but he must try! He will find a place to express his inner Lyran if it kills him!

With more than a little trepidation, Lyran Sockfoot logs onto the Admiral setting Test 2 just knowing many ignominious deaths await him. But he forges on!

And, lo, in his darkest hour Lyran Sockfoot sees a beacon of light! It is the Illustrious Chuut-Ritt riding to the rescue! (Editor's note; The "Illustrious Chuut-Ritt" was approved by the Illustrious Chuut-Riit himself).

Lyran Sockfoot is so relieved by the sight of the Illustrious Chuut-Ritt drafting him into a mission that he shouts for joy. (At this point Mrs. Lyran Sockfoot asked Lyran Sockfoot what all the yelling is about and Lyran Sockfoot retorts with the ever effective "Nuthin'!" Mrs. Lyran Sockfoot is unimpressed with Lyran Sockfoot's efforts and reminds him of such. Lyran Sockfoot awaits his punishment like a good warrior. He is not afraid of Mrs. Lyran Sockfoot! But he is smart enough not to go upstairs and tell her this out loud.)

The Illustious Chuut-Ritt and Lyran Sockfoot have many fine and entertaining adventures together, most of which Lyran Socky has trouble remembering as he is constantly glancing over his shoulder awaiting the attack of Mrs. Lyran Sockfoot! However, thanks to the protection and guidance he received from the Illustrious Chuut-Ritt Lyran Sockfoot is not killed a single time and, in fact, scores over 1100 prestige in just 30 minutes! Only 800 more to go to get a CC, which looks like his beloved BCPF (or whatever) even though it doesn't have psuedo fighters. The emulation of the Great Long Nail will have to wait for another day.

And so our intrepid Lyran Socky logs off the server for the moment, happy with his acheivements as a Lyran. It is only then that he sees the shadow of Mrs. Lyran Sockfoot looming over him, frying pan on the backswing!

Will he survive?

Will he live to fly like the Great Long Nail?

Will Brittany Spears just please stop teasing us with this ridiculous "singing career" and remove her clothing! Please, just do it for the benefit of all mankind and stop that caterwauling! (Lyran Socky is proud he managed to work "caterwauling", one of his new favorite "cat" words, into this episode!)

Tune in next time for the further adventures of Lyran Sockfoot!

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 04:24 PM
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Episode Six
He awakens slowly, head throbbing with pain. He put his hand up to his bandaged forehead. It seems a little flatter than it should be.

He looks to his left and sees a furry suit drapped over a chair. And what is this under his fingernails? Cat litter? How did that get there?

A woman clad in white walks into the room. She seems like a nice lady.

"Is this heaven?" he asks the nice lady in white.

"No," she giggles. "You're in the hospital. You've had a nasty-wasty bump on your heady-weddy!"

Bump on the head? He doesn't recall any bump on the head. And what does she mean, "in the hospital?"

"What? Where? Uh ... just who am I?"

"Well when they found you lying in the gutter with that big lump and gash on your head they found your wallet. Your licence says your "Sockfoot" and you are a starship captain."

He didn't recall any "Sockfoot" and he certainly couldn't believe he had ever been a starship captain.

"It will come back to you, don't worry Mr. Sockfoot," she smiled. "In the meantime there are several people who would like to see you! Do you feel up to having visitors?"

He nodded. Ok. He could be the "Sockfoot" person for a while. At least until he remembered who he really was. "Sockfoot" indeed! What a stupid name! A starship captain would have a majestic name like "Bartholomew!" "Sockfoot!" Pushaw!

Into the room strode six strangers. Two had golden fur, two were furry with long pointy ears, and two had funny looking foreheads. What outlandish creatures these were! He was sure he had never met any of them before.

One of the ones with golden fur was first to speak.

"Sockfoot," he said. "Its good to see you awake again. I'm Admiral Kzinbane, remember?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't remember you. I don't remember much of anything right now."

"You don't?" Admiral Kzinbane shot a wicked grin at the ones with the funny foreheads. "Well they said that would happen. Come along with me and the Illustrious Chuut-Ritt, here. Your friends in the Golden Pride Fleet miss you!"

"Ok."

Then one of the ones with the fur and long pointy ears spoke up.

"Oh no you don't, Kzinbane! Sockfoot, I am Admiral Gook, remember me? This is Captain J'inn to my right. Remember how he was teaching you to pull that ying/yang stuff? You come right along with us back to your home in the KATs! And pay no mind to that golden haired liar there! The nerve, claiming that you EVER would associate with the Golden Pride Fleet!"

"Darn you both!" shouted one of the ones with the funny foreheads. "Sockfoot, this is Chancellor Kor with CAPTAIN Dogmatix here. Don't you remember how Dogmatix would shock you in the groin with the ... uh ... don't you remember all the fun we had in the Imperial Klingon Deep Space Fleet? Now you get out of that bed this instant, please remove that ridiculous hospital gown and come back to the fleet. We have a nice freighter all ready to go for you!"

"A freighter!" roared Gook. "I'll give you a frigate!"

"Well I'll give you a destroyer!" shouted Kzinbane.

And then all six of them were rolling on the floor beating on one another, shouting for him to come home with them. It was too much for him to bear! Like a shot, he jumped out the window and ran away from the hospital as fast as he could, hospital gown flapping in the breeze behind him.

Soon it was dark and it started to get cold. He couldn't remember anything! No name, no home, no money and only a hospital gown which didn't even cover his ... oh bother! He crouched down next to a dumpster and started to cry.

Then he heard whistling. He looked up and here came a man in a nice red tunic with black pants whistling and humming a jaunty tune. The man stopped when he saw him squatting by the dumpster.

"Well hello!" said the man in the red tunic. "It's a little cold out for that get up wouldn't you say?"

He didn't answer. He only pulled the hospital gown around him a little tighter.

"Well what is your name then?"

"They said it was "Sockfoot" but I can't remember that."

"Sockfoot? Oh, Sockfoot! Captain Sockfoot! You're just the man I've been looking for! I'm Capt.Jeff of the Federation! We've been worried sick about you! And at long last we have found you. Come on then! Right this way to Starfleet Command Captain Sockfoot! Your starship awaits!"

He was unsure. The Federation? That didn't sound right, but Capt.Jeff seemed like such a nice man. And his only other option was to sit in the cold in this hospital gown with his ... oh bother.

"Can I get a nice red tunic like that one?"

"I'll do you one better!" said Capt.Jeff. "I'll get you a nice blue one! Welcome back!"

"But I really like the red one. It seems right to me for some reason."

"Oh no. You want a nice blue one, Captain Sockfoot. Blue was always your favorite color. Don't you remember? Well that will come back to you in time. Off we go!"

And with that, he was off with Capt.Jeff to Starfleet Command where he was fitted with a nice new blue tunic and black pants.

Well if Capt.Jeff said he was a Federation Starship captain, then he must be!

Federation Sockfoot

Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of whoever the heck this is!

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J'inn
Ensign posted 11-25-2001 04:31 PM
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Wow! This is better than Days of Our Lives. I wonder when they find out about S'Cipio's love child? Where's my popcorn and soda?
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:22:04 pm: Mog
Ensign posted 11-27-2001 05:58 AM
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Noooooo!!!
Not the Federation! Arghh - stay with the Golden cats please!

Seriously, speaking as an ex-Klingon who now loves being Lyran, the cats are (looks around carefully) not as hard to fly as people believe.

Dang, now I let the cat out of the bag

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Merriment Is All

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ZTempest
Ensign posted 11-27-2001 06:04 AM
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Of course, the mighty Sockfoot logged into Slave Girls last night as a Klingon!
I wonder when the next installment will be

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-27-2001 03:57 PM
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Episode Seven.
Since Sockfoot's disappearance, things are a little tense around the Klingon Homeworld. Our setting is the High Counsel Chamber, where Chancellor Kor is conducting an inquest into the whole affair.

"Well, now what?"

Chancellor Kor glared at the assembled Klingon warriors in front of him.

"I'm waiting! Has anyone got any more bright ideas?"

The warriors shuffled nervously in front of Chancellor Kor. The Chancellor could be a little on the harsh side of strict when he was angry. No one wanted to be the target of his ire.

"'Let him go off and play with Kzinbane and the GFP', you said. 'What harm could come of it', you said. 'Kzinbane and the Lyrans will be begging us to take him back soon', you said. Well look at the mess we are in now! That sneaky bastard has enough dirt on all of us to make us the laughing stock of the galaxy and now he's gone and scrambled that pea of a brain of his!"

Chancellor Kor paused to turn the thumb screws holding Dogmatix's hands pinned to the table tighter.

"This was all your idea!" he hissed as Dogmatix winced in pain. "Now what, smarty pants?" Kor gave the screws an extra turn as he asked his question and Dogmatix could only grimace in pain in response.

"That little weasle is going to get his memory back! Its only a matter of time because that is the kind of luck I have with him! And when he does, he's liable to blab everything he knows, either willingly or under torture. Well, maybe not under torture. I will give this to that little balding creep; he can sure take a lot of punishment. But the fact that he is lost with all of that information in his thick skull just makes me want to ...."

This time Dogmatix cried out in pain when Kor turned the screws.

"Well, what are you all standing there and staring at? Go get him and bring him back here! And don't try and kill him for the sake of Sto Vo Kor, because then you'll piss him off and he WILL tell everything he knows when he remembers. GET MOVING!"

All of the warriors scrambled to leave. All except J'inn.

"Uh, Chancellor. You said DO NOT kill him correct?"

"You just go play with your J'inng/J'anng with Captain Squiggy and leave Sockfoot to me."

"Yes, Chancellor."

Chancellor Kor turned back to Dogmatix who was now sweating profusely under the strain of the screws. Kor gave them each 1/2 a turn and then grabbed Dogmatix by his ear.

"You think this is bad?" he hissed into Dogmaitix's ear. "I'm just warming up!"

Then the Chancellor stood up strait and bellowed, "Bring in the pink mumu, the cosmetics and my holo camera! Captain Dogmatix here is feeling pretty!"

"And," Kor sneered as he turned back to Dogmatix. "Fire up the 'Donnie and Marie' reruns! It's going to be a looooong night!"

And, with that, the mighty Captain Dogmatix whimpered and fainted dead away.

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Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-27-2001 06:56 PM
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Episode Eight
Federation Sockfoot stepped out onto the bridge of his new Federation FF the NCC "Lost and Lonely." He paused to brush some lint from the cuff of his new blue tunic. He settled into the command chair.

"Take us out, Mr. Sulu!"

"Sir?" asked the helmsman.

"Eh, that is what they told me to say in the simulator. Um, go that way, warp 5."

"Aye, sir."

Federation Sockfoot in his new FF is looking for trouble! He pulls a mission, a patrol, and gets his first look at his new ship.

AAARRRRG! 15 power! And with two photons to charge and 5 phasers to charge, this is going to be a sloooow trip!

It does however have double green shields all the way around. Federation Sockfoot feels as snug as a bug in a rug! He toddles off at speed 10 while attempting to charge his phasers and overload his photon torpedoes. The engines of the poor "Lost and Lonely" are taxed right to the limit so he slows to speed 8 and limps along.

FINALLY, the bad man comes into view. It is a sneakyscarybooger pirate in a light cruiser. At this point Federation Socky realizes he has no clue as to Federation tactics.

However, he is very well shielded (he thinks) and he does have a point of ecm so he resolves to give the sneakyscarybooger pirate the ol' "Front Bumper" technique and run right over him! Federation Socky charges ahead at the blazing speed of 10 as his phasers finish charging releasing 5 units of energy to him to finish charging his torpedoes and put a little speed on it!

Federation Socky takes a little nap in his command chair as he and the sneakyscarybooger pirate close range. Range to target 75, little ten minute snooze, range to target 73.5. Federation Socky checks the overhead view to insure the sneakyscarybooger pirate is not running away from his mighty FF. Nope, still coming head on! Federation Sockfoot lumbers ahead like a fully armed turtle!

At range 15 Federation Sockfoot is jolted awake by 3 disruptors impacting his front shield and turning it into a faded purple line! The sneakyscarybooger pirate then fires his phasers further fading the single purple line! But no matter! Federation Socky closes to range 1 and lets fly with a full alpha strike!

The sneakyscarybooger pirate's front shield disappears! Unfortunately, so does Federation Socky's doing internals! Suddenly Federation Sockfoot remembers something about a thing called "feedback damage" one can receive from firing too many overloaded torpedoes to close to one's own hull! OUCH!

"Stop laughing!" bellows Federation Sockfoot at his crew. "Hard about! Photon's to normal yield! Shut down tube 2 and speed to 20!"

At this moment Federation Sockfoot notices his little FF turns like a cement truck! As he struggles to gain speed and turn to bring some weapon besides a phaser 3 to bear, the sneakyscarybooger pirate pivots and blasts down his rear shields! Oy Ve!

After floundering around like a fish in the bottom of the boat, Federation Sockfoot manages to get a photon torpedo tube to bear on his quarry and land a photon torpedo on the sneakyscarybooger pirate's downed front shield followed by all two phasers he can bring to bear! Internals! Federation Socky swoops in to steal a spare part and catches a phaser blast right in the nose knocking out one of his vital phaser 3s, which he promptly repairs with the stolen spare part! Bummer!

The fight proceeds as if in a broom closet with Federation Socky staying within range 10 of his striken foe landing whatever weapons he can bring to bear! He notes for future reference that shooting photons at any range over 4 is like throwing darts at a target over his shoulder; if he is lucky, he will hit once in a while. And they just take FOREVER to charge!

Finally the sneakyscarybooger pirate dies, but not before doing more internals to Federation Sockfoot by blowing up in Federation Socky's face! Federation Sockfoot's tattered front shield cannot withstand the mighty blast of his enemy's death throes!

Federation Sockfoot collects 316 prestige points for his victory and promptly returns to base to spend more than 1/2 of it refitting the "Lost and Lonely." A rather poor showing for his first time out, but he is alive and lives to fight again!

What he fails to noice is Krenn vestai Khemaraa's cloaked Klingon vessel witnessing the entire fight.

"Krenn vestai Khemaraa to Chancellor Kor!"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Is that Captain Dogmatix in a pink mumu dress dancing to 'I'm a little bit country, and I'm a little bit rock and roll?'"

"Never mind that! What have you to report."

"It's him, Chancellor! Captain Sockfoot is with the Federation!"

"The Federation! Oh, Khaless be merciful, not that! Did you hear that, Dogmatix! The Federation has our Captain Sockfoot now! You know what that means, don't you?! Yes! You get to watch the Lifetime channel while you get a manicure! STOP CRYING!'

"Uh, Chancellor?"

"Eh? Oh, yes Khemaraa. Stay close. Capture him! We must bring him back here before he regains his memory! Do you understand?"

"Aye, Chancellor!"

"Good. Good. That is all. Oh, Dogmatix! How about a nice bikini wax!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ...."

Tune in next time for the further misadventures of "mystery race Sockfoot!"

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XwingRob
Extra in Red Shirt posted 11-27-2001 08:03 PM
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Its usually a good idea to just overloaded photons on the first pass at range 3.
Then switch back to regular torpedos. And get out of that frigate soon!
Do not get a CL though because shielding sucks!
This is the funneist star trek story ever.
Later

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FPF-XwingRob
"The Federation will endure!"

[This message has been edited by XwingRob (edited 11-27-2001).]

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Skawpya
Ensign posted 11-27-2001 08:40 PM
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hmm anyone up for a cl hell server? :>~
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Sandman
Ensign posted 11-27-2001 11:26 PM
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Sockfoot. A federation starship captain. We are to capture him.
Communacations, action, signal yards. "Is the ship ready?"
"Acting Commadore" came the terse reply.
Krenn considered his fellow officers predicament. An unknown cause bringing loss of long term and short term memory. Still showing the solid intuitive grasp of tactics that he was rightly famous for. And he was adapting well to the differing demands of commnding alien starships.

"Sir, Yards report the ship has finished trails. It is ready."

Good! Krenn exclaimed. Science, deploy remote probes. help plot course to yards now, engage accelerate to warp 7 apon clearing the star system, disengage cloak.

900,000 kilometers off on final approch to the base station, the federation frigates science officer screams out "Oh SHI..aaaah, Captin Sockfoot, A klingon light cruiser just decloaked range at 900,000k. He's accellerating and turning away.
Sockfoot lept to his command chair, slapping the red alert. "Condition red, all hands to battle stations, Klingon cruiser sighted." Science station, fire probe, i want a look at him. Werapons, tactical display."
The science officer looked up, null data from the probe sir, he just went to warp. I have him on long range scanners.. still accellerating, target at warp 7, he's gone."
"Whats thier heading?" Sockfoot demanded.
"Indeterminant sir, Vessel was following an eliptic course out system. 98 point 643 percent chance target made a radical course change once he was out of sensor range."
Sockfoot cast a disconcerted look over his shoulder at his andorian science officer.
"98 point 643? Your certain"? Sockfoot asked.
The andorian cooly stared back. "it what it says on this monitor here sir."
Cocking his head, sockfoot gave a curious grunt, and shrugged his shoulders.
"All hands. this is the captain, stand down red alert. Stand by for docking, all hands to docking stations.

Hours later the klingon Light cruiser IKV Temerity dropped out of warp at the star yards at the Delugi system. as she turned toward the battlestation providing security for the instellation, the ships passed the silent quiet form of a massive B10 "Sword of Khalass" class Battleship.
Khemaraa addressed his bridge crew. "That ship is ours. The Temerity will recieve a crew from Imperial Intelligence so that it may continue the covert servailence it is designed for. Exec, I expect all stores to be aboard within the hour. There is a marine regiment in system, we will take them.
Two fighter squadrons are aboard, I expect the best fighters availible assigned to thier pilots. And I require heavy drones."
as soon as we are in transporter range, all hands will collect thier personal possesion and beam aboard. I want us underway in under 2 hours." The temerity crawled to within 50,000 Km of the great ship.
"Helm, cut power to impulse engines. helm to station keeping.
Exec, you have the bridge. Handle the details from here. Helmsman stay. The rest of you, go, now."

An hour later on the Flag Bridge of the Battleship "IKV Komerex Zha" Khemaraa watched the hustle of his bridge crew as they prepared the great warship for action on her first mission. The First officer and helmsman at turned the Temerity over to a handling crew from the Battlestation and had beamed abord only moments before.
The Exec was reporting from his quarters while he squared away his personal effects.
"All drone racks loaded with heavy drones, medium speed, magazines loaded to capacity. Full repair and replacment stores aboard. Blackader-II fighters loaded for the fighter squadrons preped and ready. The marine regiment is coming aboard now. I took the shuttlecraft from the Temerity, as there were no extras at the station. Extra crew is aboard and have stowed personal gear. I will be to the bridge directly sir."
"Very good Exec. I shall be in my ready room, come to me when you arrive."
"Acting" came the replay as Khmaraa toggled off the com panel.
"Tactical Officer, you have the bridge. I will be in my ready room." Khemaraa grunted out as he rose. Turning swiftly, he strode into his ready room just beside the bridge sally port.
Once in the ready room, Krenn sighed as discontented sigh. "By the gods of Stovo Kor, I should be overjoyed to have this ship, Computer, Human Coffee, Dark roast Kona bean, hot, Black. And a half liter of Prune Juice. 2 fruit partries."
Sitting down at that most unusuall of klingon appliences, a desk, Krenn called up the Battleships status board on his termanal as he sipped his coffee. All department were rapidly updating thier status as crew reported to stations. the marines were no showing all aboard. Outside teh port spanning the entire back wall of the ready room he could see the 2 fleet tugs with thier personal pods pulling away smartly along with the somehwat slower motions of a large supply friegter that was still taking aboard her ship lighters as she got under way. The bridge door snapped open as the exec came in.
"Compter, a second coffee and prune juice. and I require a refill"
waving the exec to a chair, Khemaraa pushed the remaining pastry toward his exec. "Eat" he commanded. "And congradulation. You are promoted to flag captain. The next prise we take, you take it home. Then get yourself a new ship. The Tactical officer is to be promoted to Commander, and assume your duties.
The newly promoted flag captian grunted around his jelly roll as he tried not to fumble to boiling hot cup of coffee.
A moment later
As soon as you finish, we get under way.

[This message has been edited by Sandman (edited 11-27-2001).]

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J'inn
Ensign posted 11-28-2001 06:44 AM
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:22:59 pm: J'inn
Ensign posted 11-28-2001 06:44 AM
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Captain J'inn sat at his desk in the ready room of the IKV Grumpy Kitty. His comm panel buzzed.
"Captain, Bridge" stated his first officer M'rot. M'rot had been convicted of cowardice in battle and thereafter assigned to the Grumpy Kitty. J'inn did not understand why nor did he really care. M'rot seemed to know what he was doing. "Captain, you have a coded transmission from Mraa."

"Bridge, Captain. Thank you M'rot, put it through to my ready room." J'inn turned to his counsel and entered his CatDance password. He was a little surprised and angered at what he then saw. "An intelligence brief! Couldn't this wait until I got back. I'll have someone's head for transmitting this. What if it had been intercepted! This had better be good." He thought, and then started to read:

M.I.S.T. HUMINT REPORT

LOCATION: Qu'nos
AGENT: Bobcat

Probabilty/Accuracy: 65% (Dogmatix part is hard to believe!)

Probability/Compromise: 5% (Bobcat must be screwing around, but we do not believe he has been turned. Heck the Klinks would just kill him)

Probability/Interpretation: 50% (Sockfoot part seems clear and requires immediate action. Dogmatix part, go figure!)

BOBCAT REPORTS:

One day ago I was performing maintenance in the great hall when I overheard the following:

(SEE ABOVE POSTS)

Attached please find a video log of what I witnessed three hours later.

(Attached is a video log of Captain Dogmatix in pink, in drag, in full makeup, and in dance to some of the catchiest darn music J'inn has ever heard.)

END HUMINT REPORT

Then, to J'inn's surprise he saw why this file had been forwarded to him. For attached were direct orders from Warchief Gook. "Wow thought J'inn, and I thought he hated me. Errr. maybe he does, he knows I hate this military stuff. Ackk! Now what!!"

PRIORITY: FLASH
FM: COMWARFLT
TO: COMINTELCOM/CO IKV GRUMPY KITTY
DATE: 2001/11/28

THE IKV GRUMPY KITTY IS TO HEAD FOR FEDERATION SPACE IMMEDIATELY AND INTERCEPT "LYRAN" SOCKFOOT. YOU ARE NOT, REPEAT NOT, TO ENGAGE. YOUR ARE TO ATTEMPT PRIVATE COMMUNICATION WITH SOCKFOOT. IT IS BELIEVED THAT SOCKFOOT HAS SUSTAINED SEVERE HEAD INJURY AND MAY BE SUSCEPTABLE TO BEING COMPROMISED IN OUR FAVOR. MAKE IT SO.

DO NOT, REPEAT NOT, ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE HOSTILE FORCES. NOT EVEN A POLICE GUNBOAT. WE NEED YOU ALIVE. (FOR NOW)

WARCHIEF GOOK SENDS

"Oh Boy!" J'inn thought. "Finally some fun. Poor, poor Socky, his head must really hurt. Perhaps I should take him a nice cold compress and some asprin. Yes, I think I should. **snicker**"

While J'inn strode to the bridge--a farther walk than usual on a Klingon ship since he had had his quarters moved to just off the galley--he found himself focused on the visions of Dogmatix. J'inn was disturbed. Very disturbed. While others may not understand, J'inn knew this was a form of Klingon torture. J'inn shivered. And then thought "Hmmm others don't know that. Hmmm others may see this and think Dogmatix is just doing this on his own. Oh this is really gonna come in handy one day!!" J'inn was gleeful. This was turning out to be a great day after all.

IP: Logged

Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-28-2001 09:56 AM
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Episode Nine
The NCC "Lost and Lonely" slid gracefully into stardock. The crew breathes a sign of relief that Captain Sockfoot has allowed his first officer to conduct the docking operation while he remains in his ready room.

"Captain Sockfoot, sir!"

"zzzz. Wha ... huh? Oh, yeah, what?"

"There is a message for you coming in on a high priority coded frequency from Q'uonos, sir. It's from the High Counsel Chamber."

"What? I don't know anyone there."

"It's Captain Dogmatix, sir. He says it's urgent and only you can help."

"Patch it through to my ready room."

"Aye, sir."

The scene that appeared on Sockfoot's personal viewscreen was appalling. Captain Dogmatix, pink lipstick smeared to one side and blond wig sagging forward at the bangs seemed to leap off the screen at him. He recoiled in horror.

"SOCKFOOT! THANK KHALESS! YOU'VE GOT TO GET BACK HERE NOW!"

"Who are you? How do you know my name? What do you mean 'get back here'?"

"IT'S ME, DOGMATIX! I'M YOUR FRIEND, REMEMBER? YOU'VE GOT TO COME HOME TO Q'UONOS IMMEDIATELY! THE CHANCELLOR HAS LOST HIS MIND!"

"What?"

"SOCKFOOT COME BACK TO US! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE IMPERIAL KLINGON FLEET AND ALL THE FUN WE HAD?! WE ALL LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!"

"Look, Captain Dogmatix, is it? I haven't the foggiest idea what you are talking about. And I don't know what kind of perverted call this is or what kind of "funky kicks" you've got going on over there in the Klingon Empire, but I assure you I'm not THAT kind of guy. So good day to you!"

<Offscreen the voice of Chancellor Kor is heard>

"Dogmatix, where are you? I've got some lovely nice pink pumps for you to wear!"

"Good Lord!"

"NO SOCKFOOT! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! COME BACK, SOCKFOOT! COME BA ...!"

"Nutty kind over there in Klink land! Oh, well might as well celebrate my first Federation victory with a drink or two! Medicinal purposes only, you understand."

And with that Sockfoot is off to find the local bar.

A few minutes later, he is in the place known as "10 Forward" receiving a good glass of malted scotch from a moon faced woman in a funny hat. She preaches at him for a few minutes about something like intergalactic slavery of the masses, but finally quits when she notes Sockfoot is not even looking at her. As Sockfoot starts his second scotch, a man with fur all over him and long pointy ears sits down.

"Hiya Sockfoot!"

"Eh?"

"It's me, your old buddy J'inn. Don't ya remember me?"

"Uh, no. I'm sorry I don't remember much of anything right now."

"Well then we've got a lot of catching up to do! Bartender, bring my friend and I another scotch! In fact, bring the whole bottle! And go light on the sermons!"

Hour's later a drunken Sockfoot and his equally stewed new/old friend J'inn are ejected from "10 Forward" after Sockfoot tells the moon faced bartender with the funny hat that she should "jusht unpucker your sphincter for a moment and lighten up about the preachy crap! Who are you anyway? The freakin' conshcienche of the galaxy or schometin'?"

"Darn Federashion witschs got no schenshe of humor!"

"Schocky!"

"Whoyatalkin'to?"

"You, Schockfoot!"

"Oh yeah, datsh me! Whatdoyouwan?"

"Come on back to my schip for anutha drink!"

"Hey, now! You're the schecond guy wan schome kinda funny sctuff today! Wait'll I tell Schquiggy 'bout all de fun disch trip hash been!"

"Who ish Schquiggy?"

"Oh he'sch ... uh ... well he'sch ... uh ... ah, I dunno. Jescht popped ina my head. Whatever."

"Come on and getsch dat drink wit me on my schip!"

"Awlrighty. You jescht keep your pawsch to yourschelf, you read me! Or kill kick your pusschy kat butt!"

"Who you callin' pusschy cat, you pusschy cat?"

"Wha ..."

"Oh, yeah, you don 'memeber too good. Yeah, your a Mirak on loan from the fleet to da Federaschion. Gonna take ya back A'miral Gook when we're dun wit dat drink."

"A'dmiral Gooky, eh? Well dat wuld eschplain dat kitty litter under my nailsch! OK den, where isch your schip!"

Many more scotches later, Socky lapses into a blissful alcoholic coma and Captain J'inn sends a hail on a coded frequency to Admiral Gook on Mrra.

"Gotsh him!"

"Who?"

"Schockfoot!"

"Excellent! Put him into the Mirak suit and bring him to me!"

"Okey Dokey!"

"And sober up for pity sake!"

"Yesch, schir!"

Hour's later Sockfoot awakens in the captain's quarters of his new vessel, the MIrak Frigate "Pointy Everything." A beautiful Mirak female brings him a robe and a cup of catnip tea.

"How did you sleep?"

"Oh, my achin' skull! I haven't been this hung over since the last party on the 'Stormbringer'!"

"What?"

"Uh ... gee I don't know. It just kinda popped into my head."

"Don't worry about it, Captain. I'll go change the litter in your box for you so you can freshen up!"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Out of sight of Captain Sockfoot, the Mirak female hails Admiral Gook on a coded frequency.

"He's in his new position, Admiral, but there may be a problem. It looks as though his memory might be returning!"

"Blast his hide and thick skull! How many times have I hit him on the head with no result! Well, no matter. We'll just have to move our timetable up! Commence operation "Comfy Kitty" immediately!"

"Aye, sir!"

Back on the Klingon Homeworld, Chancellor Kor receives news from Captain Khemaraa.

"What do you mean, gone!"

"Well, he was in "10 Forward" and then he just vanished."

"DANG! Little stinker always does that! Just like a fart in the wind! Find him. Find him and bring him back here!"

"Aye, sir."

"Chancellor Kor out!"

Chancellor Kor cracks his knuckles and slowly turns to the figure in pink pumps slumped in a heap in the middle of the High Counsel Chamber's floor.

"Well, now, Captain Dogmatix. Ready for round three?"

Dogmatix cringes into the fetal position as the Chancellor roars, "Bring in the Don Ho records! And someone bring me a plunger!"

[This message has been edited by Sockfoot (edited 11-28-2001).]

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ZTempest
Ensign posted 11-28-2001 12:00 PM
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I can't resist....

Sockfoot, my apologies in advance, but I thought I would build on this just a bit. Here is my modest contribution.....

The Patriarch was in a foul mood.

Tempest recoiled as a ball of yarn flew through the door, narrowly missing the Mirak Receptionist as she continued to polish her claws. She calmly looked at Tempest and smiled. ?You can go in now, Captain.?

Tempest gulped and walked through the door. On a large wall screen to the left was a full sized view of a Klingon in a pink mumu dancing to some horrible music. Tempest realized suddenly that it was Dogmatix!

The Patriarch glared at Tempest. ?Tell me about Sockfoot!?

?What? Sire, I don?t know anything about ?Sockfoot.?? An idea suddenly hit Tempest like a freight train as he tore off his boot. ?I do have this condition between my toes?..?

It seemed impossible, but the Patriarch seemed to get even madder. ?Darn it! J?inn working for somebody, I?m not sure who, and the Klingons have their panties, literally, in a bunch over something or someone named ?Sockfoot.??

The Patriarch leaned in and smiled. Tempest got nervous when he smiled. It was like looking at the blades of a friendly garbage disposal?

?I want you to find out.?

?Excuse me, Sire??

?You heard me, Captain Tempest -- find out what ?Sockfoot? means. I am detaching your Cruiser to special duty. Don?t come back until you have some sort of answer.?

?But Sire,? Tempest began weakly, ?Mrs. Tempest already says I spend too much time?.?

The Patriarch?s glare stopped him in mid-sentence and Tempest snapped to attention. ?Sir! Aye Sir -- I will find out.?

Tempest slowly left the Patriarch?s Office. Where would he start looking? A sudden inspiration brought a grin to his face?.the place to start was obviously with Dogmatix and that intriguing music he had been dancing to?.

The Mirak Heavy Battlecruiser Storm slowly eased out of space dock, destination, the Klingon Empire. Surveillance would be difficult, but the cases of Romulan Brandy in the hold should get him some sort of information. Maybe.
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:23:59 pm: Ensign posted 11-28-2001 02:51 PM
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J'inn stood on the transporter pad of the IKV Grumpy Kitty. M'Rot was at the controls. "Captain, I have to tell you the crew is growing somewhat upset at the fact that we have not be in battle for some time. We must regain our honor!" M'rot announced.
"M'rot, I really shouldn't tell you this, but this meeting I am going to regards our newest plans to assault the Federation." J'inn lied. "Within the week the Grumpy Kitty will send many a human to their creator! Now energize!"

With that M'rot smiled and worked the controls. "Q'pla" he stated with vigor, obviously happy.

Feeling the telltale tingle subside, J'inn found himself standing in the transporter room of the MCS Pointy Everything. The Transporter Chief and the ship's first officer, White Paw, came to attention.

"Welcome to the Pointy Everything Minister, heh, or should I say Captain." White Paw said with a knowing smile.

"Let's keep it at Captain" J'inn responded with a smile, "how's our newest Captain doing?"

"Errr, well their have been a few difficulties but all in all, things are okay." Noting the look on his supervisor's face White Paw quickly added, "It would be best if you saw for yourself." J'inn didn't like the sound of that but decided to see for himself. White Paw was a top intelligence officer and J'inn knew the man would do his best in furtherance of Operation Comfy Kitty.

While walking to the bridge with White Paw, J'inn noticed many a familiar face. In fact J'inn mused there were more intelligence officers on this little ship than in the Ministry itself at any given time. "This had damn well better be worth all of the resources the Ministry was expending. It's not like our budget is bottomless." J'inn thought.

The turbolift stopped and the doors opened to the bridge of the Comfy Kitty. The bridge of the frigate hummed with activity. The officers, intelligence officers all, busily manned their posts. With that, a twinge of concern struck J'inn. "Mraa I hope that crazy Klingon doesn't take this ship into any hot zones. These are intel officers for crying out loud, not the warriors they were pretending to be. Sure they were all well trained and capable, but none of them were truly battle tested." He fretted.

Yes, the bridge was a model of military efficiency execept for one small thing. There in the command chair slumped Sockfoot. His head bandaged. His uniform ill fitting, dirty and torn. His face and arms covered with multiple cuts, bruises and scratches. "Socky!!!" J'inn yelled, "How ya doing buddy?"

Sockfoot spun to his left and smiled as soon as he saw J'inn. "J'inn!!", he yelled as be bounded out of the chair and across the deck, "how ya doing?" An empty bottle of scotch crashed from the chair to the floor.

J'inn recoiled at the smell of Sockfoot's breath which reeked of alcohol. At this point J'inn also saw the dried and glassy eyes and realized old Socky had been hitting the CatNip a little to hard. "Let's go to my ready room and get a drink!" Sockfoot bellowed. And J'inn, for the 100th time in his life, again bemoaned the fact that Klingons had to talk so loudly and so closely.

Once in Sockfoot's ready room curiosity got the best of the old cat and J'inn had to ask, "Socky, what happened to your face?"

"Well, I really gotta say, J'inny old boy, the Mirak sure do know how to make a Captain comfortable. Boy those concubines are a heck of a lot of fun. They really put up a fight! They remind me of a hungry targ" Sockfoot said with a look in his eye as if trying to remember something.

"Uh Oh", thought J'inn, "One: We need to increase the drugs in his food, he is starting to remember things that are best forgotten. And two: Major culture problem. Feline females really don't like to be attacked. Gosh, I hope they don't kill him." But J'inn was wise enough just to smile. "Well as you remember Socky, you were a deep cover Miraki agent assigned to spy on the Klingons until you were injured in that accident. Don't worry, we'll reverse the surgical changes soon **snicker** but for now lets have a drink and talk about your time with the Klingons." J'inn stated while mustering all of the control he had to keep a straight face.

And with that they talked and drank for hours. Just Sockfoot, J'inn, and the little Miraki recording device hidden in Sockfoot's quarters. Much to J'inn's frustration, however, the information proved to be rather odd. Painsticks, Zen Philosophy, Singing, Constant Berating of Fleet Mates, General Silliness, Drunken Orgies. Hopefully, J'inn thought, the Ministry's analysts would be able to figure this drunken mess out.

IP: Logged

Squiggy
Ensign posted 11-28-2001 05:41 PM
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At the RSRD Headquarters...
Squiggy to all: Let the RSRD meeting begin.

Deadmeat to Squiggy: Qaplah!

Squiggy to Deadmeat: Qaplah!

Deadmeat to SunTsu: Qaplah!

SunTsu to Deadmeat: Qaplah!

SunTsu to Chal: Qaplah!

Chal to SunTsu: Qaplah!

Chal to Squiggy: Qaplah!

Squiggy to Chal: Qaplah!

Squiggy to SunTsu: Qaplah!

SunTsu to Squiggy: Qaplah!

Chal to Deadmeat: Qaplah!

Deadmeat to Chal: Qaplah!

Squiggy to all: This is the information I gathered from my last meeting with Chacellor Kor... Captain Gow lost his keys to his frigate. Captain Jinn is still alive, so the pool carries over to next week. We're out of Mini-Oreo bites. Captain Sockfoot is missing.

All: Gasp. OMG. Shocked disbelief.

SunTsu to all: We must form a search party.

Chal: Do we need hats?

Deadmeat to Chal: Not that kind of party.

Squiggy to SunTsu: Agreed. SunTsu, you take Chal and hit the 7-11. I'll go with Deadmeat to the Circle K. Meet back here in 2 hours. We'll find Oreos if it's the last thing we do.

Deadmeat to Squiggy: Qaplah!

Squiggy to Deadmeat: Qaplah!

Deadmeat to SunTsu: Qaplah!

SunTsu to Deadmeat: Qaplah!

SunTsu to Chal: Qaplah!

Chal to SunTsu: Qaplah!

Chal to Squiggy: Qaplah!

Squiggy to Chal: Qaplah!

Squiggy to SunTsu: Qaplah!

SunTsu to Squiggy: Qaplah!

Chal to Deadmeat: Qaplah!

Deadmeat to Chal: Qaplah!

and off they went...

IP: Logged

Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-28-2001 06:55 PM
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Episode Ten
Mirak Sockfoot takes the command chair in his new Mirak FF the "Tidy Cat." Gracefully she slides out of spacedock, her lips slightly parted and her eyes batting at him mysteriously! Her hair cascading over her shoulders and trailing down onto her firm and supple ...

"Captain Sockfoot!"

"Eh? Oh yeah, Meow. Me me meo me meow. Prrrr. Prrrr. Meeeeeoow!"

"Uh, excuse me, sir, but you just told me to fling my underwear out the rear hatch."

"What? Oh, well, that's what I meant to say! Well, what are you waiting for?"

The confused ensign salutes and leaves the bridge.

"Warp six. That way."

"Aye, sir."

"Well get with it, you targs! You guys all fight like intelligence agents or something!"

Mirak Sockfoot takes to void in search of trouble! He finds his first mission, a monster mission, and pulls it with glee! He can hardly wait to see how the "Tidy Cat" bristles with drone tubes!

Aaaaarrrrg! Only two drone tubes! He thought this was a Mirak ship! It has half as many disruptors as it does drone racks! He has been decieved! And only 15 power with purple single line shields!

"Oy ve est mir!"

"What, sir?"

"Nothing. Close to firing range."

The little FF proves to be quite fast! With only three phasers and one disruptor to charge, Mirak Sockfoot has plenty of power left for speed and ecm! God know's he's not wasting any on shielding! He cranks the speed up to 25 and turns the phaser capacitor down to 1/2!

Bravely he closes range to 50 and touches off his drone racks! Much to his dismay two feeble slow speed drones pop from his wing mounts and quickly fall behind the careening "Tidy Cat." Bummer! So much for the mighty drone wave!

To his relief he can cook up a scatterpack which he does with relish. (Never put mustard on those things. Yeah, I read the Mayo v. Mustard debate on the general forum.) While he waits for his crunch weapon he touches off two more drones and then bravely swoops in to fire his disruptor and phasers at the wickedevilbad plasma monster! Sockfoot cringes in horror when he finds his disruptor is only good inside of range 15 and that blasted rear center phaser one has a firing arc of exactly 1 degree on either side of the front tip of his ship! Try as he might, he cannot bring that phaser to bear! He loops his ship around and around and every time his ship comes within the firing arc of the phaser, he does not have time to hit the firing button before the phaser is outside of its arc. It becomes Mirak Sockfoot's obsession to see that phaser fire once this mission!

The sound of plasma coming at him brings Mirak Sockfoot back to his senses. He wheels the "Tidy Cat" away from the monster and flees the plasma at speed 31. Who needs shields when you can just leave 'em in the dust!

Smirking at the last feeble glowing ball of plasma, Mirak Sockfoot wheels around and plows strait at the wickedevilbad monster! At range 15 he cuts loose his scatterpack and fires a point blank alpha strike into the defenseless wickedevilbad monster! The scatterpack hits home more than 1/2 killing the wickedevilbad monster! Mirak Socky finishes him off in scant minutes!

450 prestige points! A great victory, but still Mirak Socky has yet to see that rear center phaser fire. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Mirak Socky pulls many more missions earning Beau Coup prestige! Enough to buy a BS which he will name "Fresh Step." He even gets to fly a monster mission with another Mirak, KAT MRess who gives him many pointers on how to fly like a real Tom KAT!

Now if he can only figure out how to fire that rear center phaser!

[This message has been edited by Sockfoot (edited 11-28-2001).]
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:25:13 pm: Ensign posted 11-28-2001 08:45 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leaving the IKV Grumpy Kitty in orbit around Mraa with its crew of increasingly grumpy and suicidal Klingons. Minister J'inn sat in the Spartan office of Warchief Gook. The subject of today's meeting was the intel gathered to date from Operation Comfy Kitty.
"That's it!" thundered Gook, pounding his fist against the arm of his handmade Lyran hide chair. "The Information Ministry had better get me more than this drivel! We have spent countless hours and resources on Comfy Kitty. More information within one week J'inn. Otherwise, your next ship won't be fitted with that special command escape system you've grown so fond of!" The Warchief threatened.

"Do you realize that I have had to relocate several of my top commanders to escort Sockfoot just to keep him from killing himself! Look at this report from KAT M'Ress!" Gook threw a padd to J'inn.

The report was rather lengthy but J'inn only needed read the following:

Request additional warships to fly escort. Sockfoot seems unable to master our battle tactics. Lord knows I've tried. Oddly, he also insists on playing this weird music while in battle. Something about a Ymca, whatever that is. Some resort I believe.

"Uh Oh!" thought J'inn "need to increase the drugs again." J'inn made a mental note and continued reading.

Please send more drones, scotch, females and CatNip. Sockfoot goes through them like water. I'd also like to request some additional beer for myself. I need it. This is worse than when J'inn was drafted into the military.

"What!" thought J'inn. "Oh whatever! Hmmm, sounds like old M'Ress will be gone a while. I hear his wife has red fur. Mmmmmmm red furs. Nah, that would be wrong."

"J'inn!" Gook yelled shaking J'inn from his thoughts. "Take this intel report" Gook said derisively "and get out. And don't come back until you've got some hard information."

Now J'inn was ticked. So after saying his yes sirs he headed back to his Ministry. He had butt to kick. Looking at the report he understood the Warchief's anger. It read:

M.I.S.T. - KLINGON ANALYSIS DIVISION

We have reviewed all of the information obtained to date from Sockfoot and compared it with known data. Please see Appendix A for the transcription of surveillance logs. Unfortunately, the data defies all attempts at analysis. We simply cannot believe that the Klingons have been able to remain a dominant power in this quadrant given the information obtained. Therefore, the information must be in error. Sockfoot is either insane, brain damaged, or the most ingenious counter intelligence agent ever to set foot in Mirak space.

One thing is clear however. Given the Klingons' obvious penchant for beer and fatty, salty foods, we will out live their Empire. See Report No. K01-5683 regarding a recent dispute at a Klingon Black Fleet meeting when the Oreos supply ran low (it got ugly). We suggest stricter dietary and exercise standards be implemented throughout Miraki society.

"That's it! We win with exercise and rice cakes! Some of us like beer and snacks also!! Damn pointy headed analysts!!" J'inn fumed. Yes, intel weeny butt would be kicked today. Liberally.

IP: Logged

Goose
Ensign posted 11-29-2001 05:40 AM
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LOL!
Oh forget that...

ROFLMAOMCOMN

Co-workers are giving me wierd looks...

------------------
AKA: KAT-M'Ress

IP: Logged

Sockfoot
Ensign posted 11-29-2001 06:30 AM
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Episode Eleven
Sockfoot sat on the edge of his bed on board the "Fresh Step." Something about this wasn't quite right. Things were swirling though his head in a big jumbled mess. The food tasted funny and he didn't see any other Mirak partying this hard. Not that he was complaining. More beer for him. The comm system crackled.

"Captain Sockfoot, sir?"

"Yes."

"There is a message coming in for you. Its on a priority coded channel from Q'uonos."

"Is it Captain Dogmatix?"

"Uh, yes sir. How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. Pipe it to my quarters will you?"

Another ghastly image of Dogmatix filled his personal view screen. His eyelids were propped open with toothpicks and his glassy bloodshot eyes glared a Sockfoot from the screen. In the background on a large screen "Joanie Loves Chachi" reruns were playing. Sockfoot averted his eyes to avoid being blinded.

An exhausted croaking voice came from the face on Sockfoot's screen.

"Sockfoot ... oh, thank Khaless you took my call! Sockfoot please come home!"

"Home?"

"To Q'uonos. Don't you remember anything?"

"Eh. I remember eating Oreo's with someone called "Squiggy."

"YES! YES! OREOS, OF COURSE! YOU ALWAYS WERE AN INFANTILE LITTLE ..."

"Uh, your transmittion is fading Captain Dogmatix."

"NO! I'M SORRY! DON'T CUT THE TRANSMITTION!"

<Chancellor Kor's voice booms from offscreen>

"Oh goodie, Dogmatix. I found a copy of 'Grease II' for you to watch!"

"NOOOOOOO! SOCKFOOT COME BACK HOME! SOCKFOOT COME BA ..."

"What a strange dude!" thought Sockfoot. "Persistent though. Maybe there is something to this."

A knock at the door stired Sockfoot from his thoughts. He checked the time. 12:30 PM. Ah! 12:30 PM meant Felicity with the red fur! Now that was entertainment.

Sockfoot flung open the door to his quarters, but instead of the lovely Felicity he found a Mirak warrior.

"Bummer!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Just who are you?"

"I'm Tempest. Are you Sockfoot?"

"Yeah, that's what everybody seems to think. What's it to ya?"

"You're Sockfoot?"

"Well don't look so disappointed. Who sent you, J'inn?"

"Minister J'inn is here?"

"I didn't know he was a minister. What denomination. Can't be Morman. He drinks like a fish."

Tempest thought for a minute. All of this work and all of this suffering under the lash of Mrs. Tempest to find one broken down balding little Klingon? What could possibly drive two empires to search so hard for this man?

"Captain Sockfoot, may I borrow your comm system."

"Yeah, sure."

Seconds later Tempest had the Patriach on a coded frequency.

"Captain Sockfoot the Klingon!"

"Yes. Patriach."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Patriach."

"Tempest, listen very carefully. GET HIM OUT OF MIRAK STAR LEAGUE SPACE IMMEDIATELY! Do you understand, IMMEDIATELY!"

"Uh, yes Patriach."

"And keep an eye on him personally. I cannot trust that snake J'inn to do it. He drinks as much as Sockfoot does and has loose lips to boot. I'll never forgive J'inn for the time he got pictures of me in that silk teddy!"

"A silk teddy, Patriach?"

"DANG! Did I just say that out loud? RAT FARTS!"

"Patriach?"

"Get Captain Sockfoot out of the Mirak Star League at once! Do you understand? At once!"

"Yes, Patriach. How do you know Captain Sockfoot?"

"Eh, oh ... well ... er ... I uh .... He hosted some social functions while I was ambassador to the Klingon Empire. Kind of funny actually. Well his parties were famos for all kinds of people doing all kinds of things and well, one thing would lead to another and, well, some people would wind up dancing naked in Alfredo Sauce to Captain and Teniel songs. BUT I NEVER DID THAT! YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING! DO YOU SEE? YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING! HE SAID THAT HE BURNED THE HOLOVIDS AND THAT THE WOMEN WOULD NEVER TALK!"

"Yes, Patriach."

"GET HIM OUT OF HERE NOW!"

"Yes, Patriach."

Tempest cut the transmittion and scratched his head. What now? Wait! He still had connections with the Romulan Empire from his last stint there!

"Captain Sockfoot."

"zzzzz. <grumble snork> Eh? What? No I don't want anymore Oreos Sun Tsu. You can have them. Just leave me some of those nutter butters, please."

"SOCKFOOT!"

"WHAT!"

"Sorry to wake you, but we have to go now! Your life is in danger!"

"What else is new? Let me sleep. Felicity will be by any minute now."

Tempest seized Sockfoot by the arm and dragged him onto his feet and out the door of his quarters.

"There is no time to argue! J'inn means to use you for his own devices!"

"Hey now! I'm not THAT sort of guy! He can keep his devices to him self, thanks! Show me the door!"

Seconds later a shuttle pod exited from its moorings on "Fresh Step" and took off at warp 7 for the Romulan Empire. Inside it Tempest was on a coded frequency with his Romulan contacts.

"This is EmeraldEdge. Ah, greetings Tempest! What can I do for you."

"I have a person who needs assylum in the Romulan Empire. May I present Captain Sockfoot."

"<Snore> I want some pettite marshmellows in my cocoa Chal!"

"Uh, you'll have to forgive him EE. He's been heavily drugged by J'inn. Anyway, this request comes from the highest levels of the Mirak Star League."

"Well in that case, please make all haste possible!"

"Thank's EE."

"Don't mention it!"

Later that day, on the Klingon Homeworld, Chancellor Kor receives a coded transmittion from Captain Khemaraa.

"Gone again?"

"Yes Chancellor. I tracked him to the Mirak Star League and was just getting ready to capture him when he vanished again!"

"DANG!"

"A shuttle left his ship and headed towards Romulan space."

"He must have been on the shuttle! Find him!"

"Aye, Chancellor."

"And tell Squiggy to find me some of those Double Stuff Oreos. Or the ones dipped in chocolate. I really like those! Chancellor Kor out."

"So our little prodical is with the Romulans now, eh?"

"Oh, no!" whines a weak voice at the Chancellor's feet.

The Chancellor looks down. He had almost forgotten Captain Dogmatix. Almost!

"What's that Captain Dogmatix? You want a whirly and a wedgie after you get your eyebrows plucked?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[This message has been edited by Sockfoot (edited 11-29-2001).]
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:26:09 pm: KBF-Kor
Ensign posted 11-29-2001 01:30 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LMAO....I'm really starting to like this.
------------------
Chancellor KBF-Kor
IKV Sephiroth
Klingon_CW@hotmail.com
Kor@blackfleet.net
(http://www.angelfire.com/trek/wildfire/klinkfinal.gif)
"Strength and Honor!"
--------------------------
"A man once said 'Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.'"

IP: Logged

Gook
Ensign posted 11-29-2001 02:53 PM
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Gook sounded a role cal on the Galactic conference call:
"Gook"

"here"

"Kor and Dogamatix"

"here"

"SPQR's Sevlek, kremen and Firehawk"

"here"

"Kzinbane"

"here"

"captain Jeff"

"here"

"Pharoah"

"here"

"Max"

"here"

"Joltvee"

"here"

"Right all present and correct, we have one thing on the agenda, SOCKFOOT!"

"Just what are we going to do about him, his insane meanderings are making our security services look foolish and worse than that us too."

"Kor, he is one of yours can't you control klingons anymore?"

Kor replied

" As much as you can control the mouth of your minister of information"

"Point taken" said Gook

"Sev what word from the Tal Shiar?"

SPQR Sevlek looked at Kremen and Firehawk, then did what Rommies do in this situation, shrugged and said

"sorry they don't know"

All looked incredulous, then Gook said

"you mean there is something the Tal Shiar do not know, now I know we are in trouble"

"Max any word on him from the far... Hydrans?"

Max looked round, gurgled something incomprehensible then tapped his Comm panel.

"thankfully he has not been spotted in the Kingdom as yet but we are on an all ports alert for him"

"Joltvee, He hasn't tried to go "Luggage" yet has he"

Joltvee spoke as fast as the rest of the conference as the word he uttered has no hint of any Sssss in it

"No"

"Jeff any word from his FF crew"

Jeff replied,

"none apart from they have all resigned from Starfleet, muttering something about the quality of Officers and criminal incompetence in charge of a starship"

"Pharoah you could be next, have your pacification squadrons been put on standby?"

Pharoah

"ne deep, ne deep"

"Ok OK I get the picture, he'll be pacified by a "special" squad if he gets that far east"

"ne deep".

"Kzinbane, you are remarkably quiet and why have you that big grin on your face you look like a Cheshire cat"

Kzinbane

" Well he came to us first and then left so I surmize we have had more time to get over him than the the more recent "conquests" and have nothing to fear as he has other races to visit"

All noted the satisfaction and relish with which Kzinbane spoke, and made mental note for "next time".

"Very well gentlemen" said Gook

" we must be prepared, he may not be mad it may be some kind of space virus he has, and we can't afford to let it spread, so what is to be done?"

Then as one the conference spoke with one voice, the same phrase springing to all their throats, so when the rising disparate tumult spoke its single thought it came out as one multi toned voice

"SHOOT TO KILL"

Jinn and Scippy were "accidentally" eavesdropping, they looked at each other and said as one, "we gotta find him", then Jinn spoke

"or he'll be like his buddy's name "Deadmeat", then Sun Tsu and Squiggy will have nothing to blow up and get all cranky"

"not to mention all those KATs who he hangs out with on their drinking binges"

Just then Jinn caught sight of a Dogmatix in Gook's monitor and thought the pink Tutu looked particularly fetching, but for some reason was too preoccupied to store the info away for later use. between them he and Scippy had to come up with a plan to save their buddy Socky or the evil cabal of RMs would get him. He knew the plan would entail Oreos and a certain Red headed Mirak Fekine, beyond that he'd just have to make it up on the fly..................

RP Off Really great stories guys, a few more and we'll be able to publish a novel

------------------
KAT-Gook
KZ/Mirak MOD CW5
KZINTI Hegemony,
"Felix Fortius"

We are the Kzinti Assault Taskforce. Resistance is futile. Your Distinctiveness <burp> will be added to our palate (C)
KAT-Fleet

[This message has been edited by Gook (edited 11-29-2001).]

IP: Logged

J'inn
Ensign posted 11-29-2001 04:45 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J'inn sat in the comfy chair, at the comfy desk, in his comfy office which was located on the top floor of the non-descript Miraki Information Ministry building. S'Cipio sat across from him looking rather uncomfortable in the leather chair.
"I swear S'Cippy it was a mammal" J'inn stated.

"I sssupossse, but it ssstilll feelllssss weird. Kinda like my grandmother." S'Cipio said while fidgeting.

J'inn had just finished cutting the transmission from the MIST agent who was acting as a waiter at the intra galactic "Sockfoot" meeting. At first J'inn had been concerned that Sockfoot may be missing. He was actually thinking of using his favorite and most dangerous MIST agent. A rare intelligent, make that very intelligent, Mirak female. But no J'inn thought this can't be possible. Sockfoot was safe on an Information Ministry Frigate in a very secluded part of Miraki space. "Just what the hell was Gook up to." J'inn thought.

S'Cipio had come by with the Gorn Military Commander in order to take the opportunity to drop off a few months worth of Friskies and to pick up a little something J'inn had for him. They were both concerned about the news at first as Sockfoot certainly was a pain in the ass but a fun pain in the ass.

"Are you sssureee SSSSSSSocky issss sssafe?" S'Cipio asked.

"Absolutely" J'inn assured him. "Let me just check last nights logs real quick and then we can go get a drink." J'inn turned the monitor so S'Cipio could not see it and began to scroll through his logs.

"Let's see, ISC causing trouble, Section 31 being bad again, blah, blah boring, hmm what's this, a message from Kor. Uh Oh! Now what!" J'inn thought as he read:

J'inn! "What no Dear?" Thought J'inn. "Klingons are so uncivilized!"

Explain why you abandoned your ship and left it to those ptaQ I gave you for a crew. Under the exchange program guidelines you had another month of service. Do you realize that you are AWOL? Do you have any idea what the penalty is for that in the Klingon Navy?

Well I'll have you know that after your refusal to reboard your ship your "crew" immediately took the IKV Grumpy Kitty out of the Mraa system and into Federation space. There they caused all sorts of trouble until they were destroyed by the Federation 9th fleet. They died with honor; and for that reason only, your AWOL status will be ignored.

Actually the real purpose for my call is that I have run out of Terran historical music that I am currently using. You wouldn't happen to have any recordings of ABBA would you? Anything from the late 1970s involving disco would be great also. I can't explain why I need it, but if you have any, please transmit the same. I'd consider it a personal favor. Any of Cher's dresses would be great also. Our replicators just can't seem to do them justice and get them to fit D . . . err just let me know if you have any.

Kor Out!

"OOOOOOOkay" thought J'inn, "I still can't believe we can't seem to beat these guys.

"S'Cippy what's up with the Klingons and the Terran music?" J'inn asked.

The big reptile merely shrugged his massive shoulders and said "I have no idea. Kor contacted the Fire SSSSStarter while we were in transsssit to Mraa and assssked if we had any Terran Eeeezzzzzzeeeee Lissstening Mussssic we could transssmit. We assssured him that the Gorn have no rhythm what ssssso ever and therefore would not have any interessst in sssuch thingsss."

Turning back to his logs, J'inn thought "Hmmm, what's this a message from White Paw?"

J'inn had been pleased with some of the new intel recovered from Sockfoot. Information regarding the Klingon's newest research into drone defenses had been rather interesting. However, it was not enough to justify the terrible drain Operation Comfy Kitty had put on the Ministry. Unknown to most outsiders there was a great deal of stress between the various branches of the Miraki government. The military was often involved in turf battles with the Imperial Branch, (the Miraki Executive Branch), lead by the Patriarch. And the Information Agency which was a quasi-independent agency was at odds with everyone. Throw in the Legislature and the constant budget battles and you had a real free for all. J'inn had worked with Warchief Gook, who out ranked him by far in the military, to try and hide the expense of this operation. So far, thought J'inn, with great success.

With that thought J'inn opened the log:

Dear Minister J'inn:

I regret to inform you that Sockfoot has been removed from the ship. Tempest came aboard not 15 minutes ago with confirmed orders from the Patriarch to release Sockfoot into his custody. There was nothing I could do.

With that J'inn spat his coffee across his desk and all over a surprised and irritated S'Cipio. "Damn Imperial Guard Troopers!" J'inn roared. "Why couldn't they have talked to me first! Arrrrggghhh." He continued to read as S'Cipio cussed while wiping himself off.

Tempest informed me that the Patriarch had determined that Sockfoot was too much of a liability and that the information he could provide was not worth the risk he posed to the fleet. Furthermore, there was a comment about your just getting information you could use just to make yourself, ummm his words not mine, fatter.

Oddly, they left in a runabout on a heading towards Romulan space.

I await your orders.

White Paw Out

"I cannot believe this!!" J'inn yelled to no one in particular. He then filled S'Cipio in on the situation. "Ssssocky'sss in trouble! We gotta help him!" S'Cipio yelled, his eyes wide with panic.

"Calm down, calm down, I'm not letting anything happen to my scotch source errr I mean Sockfoot.." J'inn assured. "I think I know who has him, and I'm sure they will take good care of him."

"Who?" S'Cipio stated.

"The Tal'Shiar"

"HHHSSSSSSSsssssssssssssss, Romulansssss, they cannot be trusssted. SSSSSSevelek sssssaid they didn't know where he issss."

"Hah! SSSSevelek, cough, cough man that's catchy, Sevelek is either in the dark again about his Tal'Shiar buddies or he knows damn well what is going on. Trust me S'Cippy. J'inn knows sneaky and the Romulans got sneaky in spades. Look I'm gonna make a little call, you stay out of the view of the camera and keep your big toothy mouth shut. You know how grouchy the Romulans get around Gorns."

"Thisss had better work J'inn. I like our party timesss with SSSSocky. Life would be dull without him. He'ssss even more fun when he doessssn't know who he issss."

J'inn then punched in a code known by very few people in the galaxy. A few moments later the smug, hawk like face of a Romulan Tal'Shiar Commander appeared on his screen. "Eagle Eye (or which ever Rom player jumps in now) you sneaky bastard! Don't tell me you don't know why I'm calling." J'inn stated.

"Well I must assume" the Romulan stated arrogantly, "that you are, I must point out, rather rudely, calling to request some Partridge Family recordings. It seems they are a hot commodity these days. I'm sorry but I sent them all to Kor. We found their use to be just too barbaric."

"Mental note: figure out what the hell is up with old Terran music." J'inn thought and then continued.

"No you green blooded weasel! Somehow, someway you found out about Operation Comfy Kitty. And then you had the gall to somehow plant a bug in the Patriarch's ear that the operation was too dangerous and had to be scrubbed. Then, let me guess, you guys actually offered to help us out by taking Sockfoot off our hands."

"Normally, I'd deny everything of course." The Romulan said.

"Of course" J'inn granted.

"But since it's you J'inn, I have to admit we really pulled off a good one this time" The Romulan gloated.

"Why you little . . . , sigh, yeah I have to hand it too you guys that was pretty sweet." J'inn felt completely flabbergasted. He had been one uped and he knew it. "Ummm, look, Sockfoot is good people. A little wacky lately, but a nice guy."

"Don't worry" the Romulan said cutting J'inn off "Sockfoot will be safe with us. We just want information just like you. It would serve no purpose for us to hurt him. Besides our analysts believe it would be in our best interest for him to return to the Klingons one day. He seems to cause a great deal of trouble there."

"Yes, heh heh, our analysts arrived at the same conclusion." J'inn stated and winked at S'Cipio. S'Cipio tried to wink back but had some trouble with his inner nictating membrane so he just licked one eyeball instead. "Fine, you guys keep him. J'inn replied with relief. "Just one word of advice. For Mraa's sake don't let him fly a Warbird alone. . . . . Oh and one last thing, what is up with the Klingons and the music lately."

The Romulan blanched as much a Romulan can. "You mean you really don't know!" He blurted. "It's it's just too terrible. I'm sorry but I just can't talk about it J'inn. A word of advice, however, don't go to Q'onos until Kor is dead. Trust me. The man is a barbarian. We really miss Dogmatix. Hmmm, we haven't heard from him in a while, I wonder why."

And with that the Romulan broke off the transmission. "Well" J'inn thought, "this sucks. But at least I know what happened. " With Socky safe, J'inn and S'Cipio went off to a local bar to have a few drinks in honor of Sockfoot. All the while J'inn plotted just how he was going to get his fat butt out of Gook and the Patriarch's gun sights this time.

(Okay, I'm done. That is unless something just screams for my input. It's time for a Romulan player to pick up the ball for now.)
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:28:00 pm: There are more story sets each the same length as these if you want more I'll post them.
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: GDA-S'Cipio on October 07, 2004, 03:09:18 pm: Quote from: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:28:00 pm
There are more story sets each the same length as these if you want more I'll post them.

Thank you!

Actually, I'd love as much as you have on this one. I was manually working my way back through the "old" Taldren database, saving off all the D2 fiction I could find. Unfortunately, Taldren went belly up before I made it far enough back in time to get this one.

A lot of the newbies probably haven't even seen this one, since it vanished with Taldren's redesign a few years back, but it set the stage for all of our later stories. More please. ;D

-S'Cipio
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: KAT Chuut-Ritt on October 07, 2004, 07:46:45 pm: I know what you mean Scippy,

I lost alot of my saved pics when my old computer went Poof. I'd love to still have copies of some of those pics esp the Klingon Village People and the Hydran Teletubbies predating the Storm Season I server. Good to see some stuff is not lost.....WTG Gookster!
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Hexx on October 07, 2004, 10:45:58 pm: Quote from: Scipio_66 on October 07, 2004, 03:09:18 pm
Quote from: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:28:00 pm
There are more story sets each the same length as these if you want more I'll post them.

Thank you!

Actually, I'd love as much as you have on this one. I was manually working my way back through the "old" Taldren database, saving off all the D2 fiction I could find. Unfortunately, Taldren went belly up before I made it far enough back in time to get this one.

A lot of the newbies probably haven't even seen this one, since it vanished with Taldren's redesign a few years back, but it set the stage for all of our later stories. More please. ;D

-S'Cipio

Crap!
Since I remember reading the original post does it mean I can't consider myself a newbie anymore?
<waits>
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: KAT Chuut-Ritt on October 07, 2004, 11:40:47 pm: Quote from: Hexx on October 07, 2004, 10:45:58 pm
Quote from: Scipio_66 on October 07, 2004, 03:09:18 pm
Quote from: Gook on October 07, 2004, 02:28:00 pm
There are more story sets each the same length as these if you want more I'll post them.

Thank you!

Actually, I'd love as much as you have on this one. I was manually working my way back through the "old" Taldren database, saving off all the D2 fiction I could find. Unfortunately, Taldren went belly up before I made it far enough back in time to get this one.

A lot of the newbies probably haven't even seen this one, since it vanished with Taldren's redesign a few years back, but it set the stage for all of our later stories. More please. ;D

-S'Cipio

Crap!
Since I remember reading the original post does it mean I can't consider myself a newbie anymore?
<waits>

Your safe I've seen you fly....... ;D
Title: Re: Scippy requests Socky's Galactic sojourn (Biblically long)
Post by: Commander Maxillius on October 08, 2004, 12:09:39 am: omg yes indeed you should repost them all!! Maybe a whole section of the Epic RP threads! I want to see the Attack of the Kitties the most!

J'innbane! J'innbane! J'innbane!