Dynaverse.net
Off Topic => Ten Forward => Topic started by: C-Los on October 10, 2004, 04:34:58 am
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Yeah thats right, there all the #1 rule.. ;)
Seeing as how I'm out #"ed in my house, I've had to post these on the Frig....
:multi: :multi: :multi:
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:goodpost: :rollingpin:
Not bad, been married since 1975 and I still have to explain some of these things...like last night on the way to church, she asked me an opinion question, I said "Do you really want my opinion?", she said yes, so I gave it too her. Fortunately she's very forgiving. But the discussion was lively.
Take care,
Mike
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;D
For a moment there I thought you were talking about when friends and family visit your apartment or house, hehehehehe. Silly cwazy me! ;)
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all comments null and void after 7 days
rofl!
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all comments null and void after 7 days
rofl!
Does that mean you have to re-write the list from memory every week?
Merlin
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Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Lol, I love that one. Next time that happens, I think I'll quote that. :D
I might have to say something along the lines of, back in the 17th century, Shakespeare said... otherwise they'll dismiss it. :D Always works for some reason when the quote is from years ago. :P
That's if Shakespeare was in the 17th century. :S
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That was a good one! IM the only guy in a house full of women. I copyed it and stuck it on the fridge.
Now im waiting to see how long before one of them notcies it.