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Off Topic => Engineering => Topic started by: FA Frey XC on February 18, 2005, 12:31:00 pm

Title: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: FA Frey XC on February 18, 2005, 12:31:00 pm

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe

sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and

then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are

some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the

solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

Here is the legend: P = The problem logged by the pilot; S = The

solution and action taken by mechanics.

 

_______________________________________

 

 P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

 S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute

descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

 

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

 :lol:

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: Sirgod on February 18, 2005, 01:16:08 pm

LOL, Hillarious Frey.

Stephen

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: KBF-Crim on February 18, 2005, 02:48:07 pm

 :rofl:

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: GarrethMacLeod on February 18, 2005, 02:55:58 pm

Very, very funny.

Btw, my spaceship handles funny  ;D
(That one had me laughing longest)

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: toasty0 on February 18, 2005, 09:37:51 pm

bawahahahaha....

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: KBF-Angel Slayer on February 19, 2005, 10:13:16 am

 :rofl: :rofl: +1!

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: Commander Maxillius on February 23, 2005, 06:30:50 pm

love those Aussies!!!  :lol:

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: KOTH-KieranXC, Ret. on February 23, 2005, 08:47:08 pm

 :rofl:

Nice. ;D

Title: Re: We're not the only smartarse techs around...
Post by: C-Los on February 24, 2005, 04:38:30 am

OMG.......: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 :o :o :o



I LOVE IT !!!     ;D ;D ;D