Dynaverse.net
Off Topic => Ten Forward => Topic started by: Khalee1 on December 23, 2005, 11:31:32 am
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A spoonful of science.. 1 hour, 57 minutes ago
LONDON (Reuters) - Australian scientists have proved what is common knowledge to most people -- that teaspoons appear to have minds of their own.
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In a study at their own facility, a group of scientists from the Macfarlane Burnet Institute for Medical Research and Public Health in Melbourne secretly numbered 70 teaspoons and tracked their movements over five months.
Supporting their expectations, 80 percent of the spoons vanished during the period -- although those in private areas of the institute lasted nearly twice as long as those in communal sections.
"At this rate, an estimated 250 teaspoons would need to be purchased annually to maintain a workable population of 70 teaspoons," they wrote in Friday's festive edition of the British Medical Journal.
They said their research proved that teaspoons were an essential part of office life and the rapid rate of disappearance proved that this was under relentless assault.
Regretting that scientific literature was "strangely bereft" of teaspoon-related research, the scientists offered a few theories to explain the phenomenon.
Taking a tip from Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books, they suggested that the teaspoons were quietly migrating to a planet uniquely populated by "spoonoid" life forms living in a spoonish state of Nirvana.
They also offered the phenomenon of "resistentialism" in which inanimate objects like teaspoons have a natural aversion to humans.
On the other hand, they suggested, people might simply be taking them.
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When I die, I hope I'm reunited with all my lost tupperware, spoons, and pens.
::sigh:: I miss them so.
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Odd socks too!
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Odd socks too!
Nope those are taken by strange unipodal aliens that bear a strange resemblance to a washing machine agitator. ;)
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When I die, I hope I'm reunited with all my lost tupperware, spoons, and pens.
::sigh:: I miss them so.
Yeah , youre laughing now , but lets see you try and eat some soup , save some Christmas leftovers , or write the editor's a nasty letter ..... you smug, spoonless, penless bastard ,what with your food getting all dried out !!
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Gotta love it when you SWEAR that you put in two pillowcases in the laundry but only one is there with the rest when you take it out?
I've learned regarding diningware that before I turn on the garbage disposal I MUST check it first to see if a spoon tried to jump in while I was not looking.
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To think, I thought I had heard it all. What next, George W. is actually smart, or Bill Clinton really never cheated on Hillary? *shrugs*
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When I die, I hope I'm reunited with all my lost tupperware, spoons, and pens.
::sigh:: I miss them so.
I still plan on doing an airstrike on those pesky underpants Gnomes.
Stephen
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When I die, I hope I'm reunited with all my lost tupperware, spoons, and pens.
::sigh:: I miss them so.
Yeah , youre laughing now , but lets see you try and eat some soup , save some Christmas leftovers , or write the editor's a nasty letter ..... you smug, spoonless, penless bastard ,what with your food getting all dried out !!
How dare you mock my loss sir! ::WEEPS:: YOU CRUEL BASTARD! I'VE NEVER GIVEN UP HOPE!!! I'VE PUT UP 'MISSING' POSTERS FOR MY SPOONS, PENS, AND TUPPERWARE!!!!
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When I die, I hope I'm reunited with all my lost tupperware, spoons, and pens.
::sigh:: I miss them so.
I still plan on doing an airstrike on those pesky underpants Gnomes.
Stephen
1) Airstrike on Underpants Gnomes
2) ???
3) PROFIT!
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LOL @ Sidious.
Stephen
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I figured this was one of the few times a ???/Profit joke was applicable ;D
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+1 for using a farkism on dnet.
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Scientists? Scientists?
Have they been certified by a court to be scientists?