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Taldrenites => Starfleet Command Fan Fiction => Topic started by: Jaeih t`Radaik on August 11, 2005, 09:53:20 am
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Hi all. Since you guys and gals are suffering a bit from Andie Withrdawal--a new and startling, though thoroughly and deeply satisfying new ailment I've noticed lately *grin*--I've decided to thow you all a bone.
For an Andie short story set 3 years further on from 'First Steps', please follow this link, and by all means let me know what you think of it on this topic here, and think of it as your commenting thread. As you may have guessed, it's called 'A Little Time To Spare...'
http://www.starbase23.net/Stories-Jaeih-06TimetoSpare.html
Read on, digest, discuss, and let me know what you liked and disliked about any aspect of the story. Just as a bit of background into the writing style, I wrote this whole story after starting 'First Steps' but before finishing it, having stalled in the middle. Doing this helped me complete 'First Steps' in such an excellent manner.
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I like it.
Of course after badgering you to actually let Andie, ya' know, get jiggy with someone...anyone...just no more angst!...I'm pretty sure you'd have Grim send his Predators after me if I didn't. ;D
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Okay, I have to admit to disappointment. I thought this was quite a good little tale, maybe not to everyone's tastes, but worthy of some comment.
What is it? You didn't follow the link to the story? Don't like going to another site to get your read? Did go, did read, just didn't like it? What?
Let me know, people. I may not be that huge a commenter myself, but I do give it a fair shot. If you give Ratboy the time of day, please let me at least give you my timezone...
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Haven't got the time to follow the link. Will comment shortly. Have to study hard because after getting the Java Sun Programming certification I now also have to get Java Sun Webcomponent. So I'm studying.
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I found it to be an excellent vignette... I could of course nitpick and say that the crits you have on La'ra's vignette can be said about yours as well imho. But both are good.
So just one crit:
Couldn't you make been a bit more explicit
j/k (though I wouldn't have minded)
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Don't like going to another site to get your read?
Yes, I am that lazy.
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I've been both busy and away. I'll read it and comment when I have the time.
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Actually, I pop in at SB 23 every so often and read what's there, so I've read just about everything there already, including this story. Speaking of which, I enjoyed it, Jaeih. You ask me, Starfleet officers are too often portrayed(mostly in TV/movies) as virtuous at best, prudes at worst. This little story was a nice breath of fresh air - and featuring a hot blue Andorian chick, to boot. ;D
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Thanks guys & gals. :-)
I'm guilty of this myself, actually. You think, "well, i'll not comment on it if I don't like it, I've not got time to give the kind of answer they want, I'll read /comment on it later."
I'm going to start giving little comments on everyone who posts from now on. Even if it is just an "Ihave no time now, I'll have a look alter/I read it, I have no immediate opinion & need to think about it/I have no time for a proper comment, will comment later" or whatever.
Lead by example, as they say. Can't honestly expect all the comments I want if I'm unwilling to do so in return.
Anyway, thanks again. Sorry for forcing the issue, but I wanted to know.
PS's.
Grim: Good luck with your SUN JAVA certification. Keep up your studies, but just remember to take a little time off to prevent a brain strain. Asa to your second comment, I keep teasing La'ra and Andy that the is an XXX-rated version on my hard disk. Maybe if you ask nicely, or do anything I ask (heh heh heh) I'll e-mail it to you. *wicked grin*
Rommie: Stop being so lazy! You're missing a good story!
Kadh: Perfectly understandable, and after all you did warn us you would be busy/away. No worries.
K-Fo: Yeah, that's one of the points I'm trying to drive home with my stories. Ordinary people going about their ordinary lives as part of the Star Fleet or Grand Fleet. Not paragons of virtue or the best of the best. This is Regular Navy, the people who do the grunt work. :-) And thanks for your loyalty, Kieran. I certainly appreciate you, and no doubt Andy is thrilled he has a regular reader! Here's hoping I can get 'Kestrel' finished soon so you have something new to read. I think Andy's abandoned 'Raider' until I'm done, as it depends to some level on the fall-out from 'Kestrel', but we'll see.
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Okay, I did read it before on starbase23. It's a great little sex scene but that's really all it is. It needs some meat to be more than a vignette or an aside. On the other hand the two characters both did have personalities so if you want to call it a character exercise of some sort then it's okay. I think it must fulfill about every guy's voyueristic fantasy. *stop rambling*
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It needs some meat to be more than a vignette or an aside.
I think a vignette or aside was precisely what she intended it to be.
And my voyeuristic fantasies all involve the librarian from 'The Mummy', thank you very much. ;D
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I could do the typically guy thing of "Huh...huh...huh..."
But I won't. ;D
I really like this little vignette (as that is all it's suppose to be, after all), and as Andromeda says it is a great character scene, as well as a great sex scene teaser.
Jaeih, I hope you do a lot more like these.
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It needs some meat to be more than a vignette or an aside.
I think a vignette or aside was precisely what she intended it to be.
And my voyeuristic fantasies all involve the librarian from 'The Mummy', thank you very much. ;D
Rachel Weisz?
(http://home.comcast.net/~afugman/files/rachel_weisz.jpg)
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BTW, nicely done, Jaeih.
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Why yes, Sethan, that'd be her!
*fans himself*
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Fans? Why do I suspect that what's actually going uses a word with one letter's difference?
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Damn, ye cut out all the carpet-munchin! The best part!
Wouldn't be an...un-cut version ye could email me---eyes shift suspisciously---
I liked most greatly, my dear. I look forward to any Andie story. Keep 'em comin' figuratively and literally! ::)
--thu guv'!
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Belay that kind of talk, ye scurvy land-lubber! ;D
There are ladies present! (Yes, even though one of them did indeed write it...lol)
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The story was tasteful. That comment was not. Big difference.
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My apologies to all those offended. Did not realise the extent of y'all's delicate sensibilities.
I am about as uncivilized as they get, my humor is no different.
But I did enjoy the story, espescially the scene within the apartment. Reminded me of dates I've been on. The whole coming up with really suave sounding plans to basicly have at my lady friend, and have them all flit away just as soon as she turns around to look at me... Ah...the chase is almost better than the capture!
Any who, I didn't write the above for more than a chuckle. To Jaeih, if the above seemed crude, then to you espescially: I am sorry.
I take my leave.
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*rolls eyes*
Andy, it wasn't that bad, but Guv, Rommie's right ;) I'm not offended, but at least try to maintain some class, y'heah? *smile*
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What can you expect of a Klingon? ;D
I figured you to be least offended, having known of me through La'ra. I forgot, however, about the virgin ears (eyes?) out there. Not every one has my sense of humor.
And 'Rommie, am I still allowed to post replies on your stories? :'(
--thu guv!
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The comment was tacky. Generally the sort of humor one keeps to themselves in polite company.
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In the Guv's defense, the fact that he made the comment at all shows that he's comfortable with most of us who post here regularly. I'm speaking with the advantage of RL knowledge, however, as most of ya'll probably realize.
He's actually a pretty respectful guy, unless you happen to be his friend. If you are his friend, however, especially his best friend, God help you.
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To Sethan: I'm a pretty tacky guy. :P
To La'ra: God cain't help ya, dik!
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And 'Rommie, am I still allowed to post replies on your stories? :'(
--thu guv!
Of course you are.
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;D
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To La'ra: God cain't help ya, dik!
I suspect he can, but won't. I suspect the reason you're so fond of the Book of Job is that you're a Biblical plague that was created to hinder my existence.
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Gird the up thine loins, goober (ha! witty play on words that!) for I shall wet on thee!
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Ye gods! How many threads was that conversation accross?
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Ye gods! How many threads was that conversation accross?
Including or excluding PMs? And what about phone calls? ;D
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Y'all mostly live cross country from everyone else. I live a quarter mile from this peckerweed!