Topic: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror  (Read 3201 times)

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762

  • Guest
This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« on: January 16, 2004, 12:03:47 pm »
 Cow brain sandwiches!

Cow brain sandwiches still on the menu
Friday, January 16, 2004 Posted: 10:43 AM EST (1543 GMT)
 
EVANSVILLE, Indiana (AP) -- Fear of mad cow disease hasn't kept Cecelia Coan from eating her beloved deep-fried cow-brain sandwiches.

She's more concerned about cholesterol than suffering the brain-wasting disease found in a cow in Washington state last month.

"I think I'll have hardening of the arteries before I have mad cow disease," said Coan, picking up a brain sandwich to go during her lunch hour this week. "This is better than snail, better than sushi, better than a lot of different delicacies."

The brains, coated with egg, seasoning and flour, puff up when cooked. They are served hot, heaping outside the bun.

The sandwiches trace their heritage to a time when immigrants to southern Indiana wasted little after arriving from Germany and Holland. Some families have their own recipes passed down through generations.

Their time-honored delicacy now carries new dangers after a single cow was diagnosed with mad cow disease, or bovine spongiform encephalopathy, at a dairy farm in south-central Washington state. The case, announced December 23, was the first in the United States.

Since then, there's been little evidence of consumers turning away from beef, although humans risk developing a brain-wasting illness, variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, if they eat contaminated beef products.

Mad cow disease won't scare this crowd, said Coan, 40, a bank teller who likes her brain sandwich served with mustard and pickled onions.

"You're going to die anyway. Either die happy or you die miserable. That's the German attitude, isn't it?" Coan said.

Long considered a delicacy
The delicacy is served at German-heritage restaurants such as the Hilltop Inn, a former stagecoach stop in this Ohio River city that opened in 1837. The sandwiches are also popular at events such as Evansville's fall festival, where vendors typically sell out early.

The sandwiches could become harder to find after the U.S. Department of Agriculture banned the selling of brains of cattle older than 30 months.

The 30-month cutoff is used because the incubation period for cattle to develop the disease ranges from months to many years, said Denise Derrer, spokeswoman for the Indiana State Board of Animal Health.

Some meat suppliers have stopped selling the cow brains completely.

Since they opened in 1916, butchers at Dewig Brothers Meats in Haubstadt, Indiana, north of Evansville, saved the brains to sell for $1.50 to $2 a pound.

The decision to halt such sales means customers will have to switch to pork brains, which are smaller and more difficult to cook, owner Tom Dewig said.

Consumers, however, are not likely to taste the difference.

"The taste is really carried in the batter," Dewig said.

Brain-based dishes are not limited to Indiana. Across the Ohio River in Kentucky, squirrel brain served with fried eggs was once considered a rural delicacy. The popularity declined, however, after researchers found a possible link between eating squirrel brains and contracting mad cow.

In California, cow brains are commonly sold as taco filling and called by their Spanish name, "sesos." In some Texas border towns, barbacoa, made from the cow's head and brain, is served during the holidays.

It will take more than one case of mad cow disease, however, to keep Nick Morrow, a 45-year-old Indiana pipe-fitter, from eating the brain sandwiches he's enjoyed since childhood.

Morrow talked friend Scott Moore into eating at the Hilltop Inn just so he could have one. Mad cow disease was far from his mind.

"Well, I haven't won the lottery yet, so I don't figure I'll get that," Moore said as a hot brain sandwich sat on a plate before him.

------------------------------------------------------------------

All I can say is.....


Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2004, 12:17:34 pm »
 

actually when I was a kid, I used to enjoy Scrambled eggs and Brains with my great grandfather. Of course He was from a different century all together, and when they slaughtered any animal, They didn't waste anything.

Start's thinking to himself, Man this was between 1970 and 1980 (when he passed away, and he was born in 1890, so That shows you how long ago this was a common Breakfast.

Stephen

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2004, 12:55:07 pm »

*UGH*

Not just Moofighters.  I think this one has MOST readers feeling queasy.  

I am suprised that was in Indiana, it seems like a southern thing.  When I lived in Michigan I never saw a can of "Cow Brains In Milk Gravy" but there must be enough of a demand down here in Florida for them since I can find them on grocery store shelves!

IMHO: If you ain't a zombie, you should not be eating brains.  Period.



 

Maxillius

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2004, 03:34:39 pm »

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2004, 03:40:15 pm »
LOL at Devistator.

I guess I shouldn't mention I'm cooking Liver for Dinner tonight , huh.  

Stephen

Edit to add this...

CALIFORNIA
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef.
PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows".
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for
the children".
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L. A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L. A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.



DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

CANDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
It's so cold in the winter you train the cows to make Ice cream.
You sell the ice cream at a great profit to the Americans.
You pay a lot of taxes for fine health care for the cows.
You drink another fine Canadian Beer.
Life is good.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.


IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the
black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for
neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is
the best looking cow.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2004, 07:05:09 pm by Sirgod »

moofighters

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2004, 11:42:44 pm »
It actually makes sense..  What better way to increase ones brain power than by eating the brain of a smarter creature...  

MOOO!!!  

and no you can't eat my brain...

     

mathcubeguy

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2004, 12:06:15 am »
considering that Evansville is across the Ohio from Henderson, KY (me)? Considering that Ive never seen or heard much about people eating cow brains, it must not be that popular around here...

762

  • Guest
This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2004, 12:03:47 pm »
 Cow brain sandwiches!

Cow brain sandwiches still on the menu
Friday, January 16, 2004 Posted: 10:43 AM EST (1543 GMT)
 
EVANSVILLE, Indiana (AP) -- Fear of mad cow disease hasn't kept Cecelia Coan from eating her beloved deep-fried cow-brain sandwiches.

She's more concerned about cholesterol than suffering the brain-wasting disease found in a cow in Washington state last month.

"I think I'll have hardening of the arteries before I have mad cow disease," said Coan, picking up a brain sandwich to go during her lunch hour this week. "This is better than snail, better than sushi, better than a lot of different delicacies."

The brains, coated with egg, seasoning and flour, puff up when cooked. They are served hot, heaping outside the bun.

The sandwiches trace their heritage to a time when immigrants to southern Indiana wasted little after arriving from Germany and Holland. Some families have their own recipes passed down through generations.

Their time-honored delicacy now carries new dangers after a single cow was diagnosed with mad cow disease, or bovine spongiform encephalopathy, at a dairy farm in south-central Washington state. The case, announced December 23, was the first in the United States.

Since then, there's been little evidence of consumers turning away from beef, although humans risk developing a brain-wasting illness, variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, if they eat contaminated beef products.

Mad cow disease won't scare this crowd, said Coan, 40, a bank teller who likes her brain sandwich served with mustard and pickled onions.

"You're going to die anyway. Either die happy or you die miserable. That's the German attitude, isn't it?" Coan said.

Long considered a delicacy
The delicacy is served at German-heritage restaurants such as the Hilltop Inn, a former stagecoach stop in this Ohio River city that opened in 1837. The sandwiches are also popular at events such as Evansville's fall festival, where vendors typically sell out early.

The sandwiches could become harder to find after the U.S. Department of Agriculture banned the selling of brains of cattle older than 30 months.

The 30-month cutoff is used because the incubation period for cattle to develop the disease ranges from months to many years, said Denise Derrer, spokeswoman for the Indiana State Board of Animal Health.

Some meat suppliers have stopped selling the cow brains completely.

Since they opened in 1916, butchers at Dewig Brothers Meats in Haubstadt, Indiana, north of Evansville, saved the brains to sell for $1.50 to $2 a pound.

The decision to halt such sales means customers will have to switch to pork brains, which are smaller and more difficult to cook, owner Tom Dewig said.

Consumers, however, are not likely to taste the difference.

"The taste is really carried in the batter," Dewig said.

Brain-based dishes are not limited to Indiana. Across the Ohio River in Kentucky, squirrel brain served with fried eggs was once considered a rural delicacy. The popularity declined, however, after researchers found a possible link between eating squirrel brains and contracting mad cow.

In California, cow brains are commonly sold as taco filling and called by their Spanish name, "sesos." In some Texas border towns, barbacoa, made from the cow's head and brain, is served during the holidays.

It will take more than one case of mad cow disease, however, to keep Nick Morrow, a 45-year-old Indiana pipe-fitter, from eating the brain sandwiches he's enjoyed since childhood.

Morrow talked friend Scott Moore into eating at the Hilltop Inn just so he could have one. Mad cow disease was far from his mind.

"Well, I haven't won the lottery yet, so I don't figure I'll get that," Moore said as a hot brain sandwich sat on a plate before him.

------------------------------------------------------------------

All I can say is.....


Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2004, 12:17:34 pm »
 

actually when I was a kid, I used to enjoy Scrambled eggs and Brains with my great grandfather. Of course He was from a different century all together, and when they slaughtered any animal, They didn't waste anything.

Start's thinking to himself, Man this was between 1970 and 1980 (when he passed away, and he was born in 1890, so That shows you how long ago this was a common Breakfast.

Stephen

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2004, 12:55:07 pm »

*UGH*

Not just Moofighters.  I think this one has MOST readers feeling queasy.  

I am suprised that was in Indiana, it seems like a southern thing.  When I lived in Michigan I never saw a can of "Cow Brains In Milk Gravy" but there must be enough of a demand down here in Florida for them since I can find them on grocery store shelves!

IMHO: If you ain't a zombie, you should not be eating brains.  Period.



 

Maxillius

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2004, 03:34:39 pm »

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2004, 03:40:15 pm »
LOL at Devistator.

I guess I shouldn't mention I'm cooking Liver for Dinner tonight , huh.  

Stephen

Edit to add this...

CALIFORNIA
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef.
PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows".
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for
the children".
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L. A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L. A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.



DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

CANDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
It's so cold in the winter you train the cows to make Ice cream.
You sell the ice cream at a great profit to the Americans.
You pay a lot of taxes for fine health care for the cows.
You drink another fine Canadian Beer.
Life is good.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.


IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the
black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for
neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is
the best looking cow.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2004, 07:05:09 pm by Sirgod »

moofighters

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2004, 11:42:44 pm »
It actually makes sense..  What better way to increase ones brain power than by eating the brain of a smarter creature...  

MOOO!!!  

and no you can't eat my brain...

     

mathcubeguy

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2004, 12:06:15 am »
considering that Evansville is across the Ohio from Henderson, KY (me)? Considering that Ive never seen or heard much about people eating cow brains, it must not be that popular around here...

762

  • Guest
This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2004, 12:03:47 pm »
 Cow brain sandwiches!

Cow brain sandwiches still on the menu
Friday, January 16, 2004 Posted: 10:43 AM EST (1543 GMT)
 
EVANSVILLE, Indiana (AP) -- Fear of mad cow disease hasn't kept Cecelia Coan from eating her beloved deep-fried cow-brain sandwiches.

She's more concerned about cholesterol than suffering the brain-wasting disease found in a cow in Washington state last month.

"I think I'll have hardening of the arteries before I have mad cow disease," said Coan, picking up a brain sandwich to go during her lunch hour this week. "This is better than snail, better than sushi, better than a lot of different delicacies."

The brains, coated with egg, seasoning and flour, puff up when cooked. They are served hot, heaping outside the bun.

The sandwiches trace their heritage to a time when immigrants to southern Indiana wasted little after arriving from Germany and Holland. Some families have their own recipes passed down through generations.

Their time-honored delicacy now carries new dangers after a single cow was diagnosed with mad cow disease, or bovine spongiform encephalopathy, at a dairy farm in south-central Washington state. The case, announced December 23, was the first in the United States.

Since then, there's been little evidence of consumers turning away from beef, although humans risk developing a brain-wasting illness, variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, if they eat contaminated beef products.

Mad cow disease won't scare this crowd, said Coan, 40, a bank teller who likes her brain sandwich served with mustard and pickled onions.

"You're going to die anyway. Either die happy or you die miserable. That's the German attitude, isn't it?" Coan said.

Long considered a delicacy
The delicacy is served at German-heritage restaurants such as the Hilltop Inn, a former stagecoach stop in this Ohio River city that opened in 1837. The sandwiches are also popular at events such as Evansville's fall festival, where vendors typically sell out early.

The sandwiches could become harder to find after the U.S. Department of Agriculture banned the selling of brains of cattle older than 30 months.

The 30-month cutoff is used because the incubation period for cattle to develop the disease ranges from months to many years, said Denise Derrer, spokeswoman for the Indiana State Board of Animal Health.

Some meat suppliers have stopped selling the cow brains completely.

Since they opened in 1916, butchers at Dewig Brothers Meats in Haubstadt, Indiana, north of Evansville, saved the brains to sell for $1.50 to $2 a pound.

The decision to halt such sales means customers will have to switch to pork brains, which are smaller and more difficult to cook, owner Tom Dewig said.

Consumers, however, are not likely to taste the difference.

"The taste is really carried in the batter," Dewig said.

Brain-based dishes are not limited to Indiana. Across the Ohio River in Kentucky, squirrel brain served with fried eggs was once considered a rural delicacy. The popularity declined, however, after researchers found a possible link between eating squirrel brains and contracting mad cow.

In California, cow brains are commonly sold as taco filling and called by their Spanish name, "sesos." In some Texas border towns, barbacoa, made from the cow's head and brain, is served during the holidays.

It will take more than one case of mad cow disease, however, to keep Nick Morrow, a 45-year-old Indiana pipe-fitter, from eating the brain sandwiches he's enjoyed since childhood.

Morrow talked friend Scott Moore into eating at the Hilltop Inn just so he could have one. Mad cow disease was far from his mind.

"Well, I haven't won the lottery yet, so I don't figure I'll get that," Moore said as a hot brain sandwich sat on a plate before him.

------------------------------------------------------------------

All I can say is.....


Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2004, 12:17:34 pm »
 

actually when I was a kid, I used to enjoy Scrambled eggs and Brains with my great grandfather. Of course He was from a different century all together, and when they slaughtered any animal, They didn't waste anything.

Start's thinking to himself, Man this was between 1970 and 1980 (when he passed away, and he was born in 1890, so That shows you how long ago this was a common Breakfast.

Stephen

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2004, 12:55:07 pm »

*UGH*

Not just Moofighters.  I think this one has MOST readers feeling queasy.  

I am suprised that was in Indiana, it seems like a southern thing.  When I lived in Michigan I never saw a can of "Cow Brains In Milk Gravy" but there must be enough of a demand down here in Florida for them since I can find them on grocery store shelves!

IMHO: If you ain't a zombie, you should not be eating brains.  Period.



 

Maxillius

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2004, 03:34:39 pm »

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2004, 03:40:15 pm »
LOL at Devistator.

I guess I shouldn't mention I'm cooking Liver for Dinner tonight , huh.  

Stephen

Edit to add this...

CALIFORNIA
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef.
PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows".
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for
the children".
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L. A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L. A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.



DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

CANDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
It's so cold in the winter you train the cows to make Ice cream.
You sell the ice cream at a great profit to the Americans.
You pay a lot of taxes for fine health care for the cows.
You drink another fine Canadian Beer.
Life is good.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.


IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the
black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for
neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is
the best looking cow.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2004, 07:05:09 pm by Sirgod »

moofighters

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2004, 11:42:44 pm »
It actually makes sense..  What better way to increase ones brain power than by eating the brain of a smarter creature...  

MOOO!!!  

and no you can't eat my brain...

     

mathcubeguy

  • Guest
Re: This one should send Moofighters screaming in horror
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2004, 12:06:15 am »
considering that Evansville is across the Ohio from Henderson, KY (me)? Considering that Ive never seen or heard much about people eating cow brains, it must not be that popular around here...