Topic: When the Going Gets Tough...  (Read 17238 times)

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Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #20 on: December 02, 2005, 10:30:29 pm »
Ok, enough. I've debated how to do this chapter too long. Without further ado, here it is. It's a short one, though.

EDIT: Dialog edited per Scottish Andy's suggestion.
EDIT 2: I've decided to conform to every Star Trek book I can remember and make the log entries in bold face.
EDIT 3: On review, decided to change instances of EPS conduit to plasma conduit, amend the log to "secondary power" as there's no way a spacedock would be pumping plasma into a ship, and amend the rest of the text as necessary.

Chapter 4

Captain's log, stardate: 54868.6. The refit of the Howard Hughes is not proceding apace. While the new warp nacelles were installed in record time, once we installed the new warp core, we had problems. As per SOP, we ran the new core up to test it. Unfortunately, the plasma conduits, which were fine for the load from secondary power, began to overload all over the ship...

"Shut it down. SHUT IT DOWN!" Baker bellowed.

"Warp core offline now sir!" MacLeod reported. "However, we still have a few sympathetic overloads in the plasma conduits. Expect several more explo--." LtCdr. MacLeod cut off suddenly, his eyes growing wide. He threw himself away from his console with half a second to spare as the plasma conduit behind it blew out spectacularly, destroying the console and eliciting a curse from MacLeod. "I just fixed that bloody thing!" he roared.

"Settle down, Connor. We can replace the console," Jack Baker soothed.

Connor gritted his teeth, "Aye..."

"Come on, man. At least your hide's still intact. You could have gone with that console if you'd been a hair slower."

Connor MacLeod looked a bit shaken, "Aye, Ah could've at that..."

"OK, get to engineering and get me a damage report, ASAP. Obviously, though, we're going to replace every plasma conduit aboard," Baker ordered.

"First priority, aye aye," the Chief Engineer said as the turbolift doors closed behind him.

"Skipper, I think I've gotten short range communications back up," the comms officer reported, then finished after a slight pause, "Yep! And the station is hailing us."

"On screen," Jack ordered, then continued sotto voce, "Assuming the viewer still works after that fiasco."

"Jack?! What the hell just happened?!" Erik demanded.

"Plasma conduit overloads all over the ship. The grid couldn't handle the output of the new warp core during a stress test. I expected tolerance warnings as we ran it up. What I didn't expect was a fireworks show that damn near killed my Chief Engineer.

"What?!" Jack's old friend exclaimed.

"Just after we shut down the new core, we still had some sympathetic overloads. The conduit behind the environmental systems console on the bridge went. MacLeod got out of the way with about half a second to spare."

"Jesus, Jack! What now?" the Station commander asked softly.

"Well, the entire EPS grid will have to be overhauled. What didn't blow is going to have to be assumed to have been stressed beyond tolerances. I..." Jack trailed off thinking for a moment, "I was in too much of a hurry, Erik. I should have known there was no way this old power grid could take the output of a modern warpcore The only way I'll launch on schedule is to do enough to make the ship worthy of deep space, plus anything that has to be done in spacedock, and complete the rest of the refit during shakedown."

"You're not the only one who should have caught it, Jack. Any casualties?"

"Other than my pride? I think Commander MacLeod might have some rug burn due to diving away from that console before the conduit blew out. Other than that, no reports yet. Internal comms might be a little...ah...dicey right now, though. The warp core is shut down, so no more explosions after the last round, but we're gonna need some help with all the work, Erik."

"I'll send crews immediately. You're not missing your launch date, buddy. And you're damn sure not missing my wedding later this week!"

"Thanks, Erik. Baker out,"

Jack turned and surveyed his bridge and the readouts, then settled back into his chair with a heavy sigh and one thought, 'Two weeks...What was I thinking?'
« Last Edit: February 06, 2011, 12:38:39 pm by CaptJosh »
CaptJosh

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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #21 on: December 02, 2005, 11:40:48 pm »
Nice continuation, but I wasn't sure if the log entry was interrupted by the explosion or if it was just supposed to set it up. A little more standardised format would be helpful for this, such as log entries done in italics, unless a character is actually saying it in the scene. And if that is the case, a line such as, "...he abandoned his log entry as..."

Admittedly, that isn't your style as you're writing solely dialogue (in this chapter) and with very few narratives in previous chapters.

I like the rationale behind the emergency, and the way it was reacted to and handled by the characters. Good job.

Also, as the ex-resident Scot...

Quote
Connor MacLeod looked a bit shaken, "Aye, I could hae, at that..."

I personally would have said "Aye, Ah could've at that..." or possibly "Aye, Ah could'a' at that..."

"I could hae" is too hard to say, it has no real flow. Scots speech is the opposite of Suth'n US. We speak quickly, cutting out extraneous vowels and consonants to be able to say things faster.

If you want a brief look at it done properly, see Chapter One of 'First Steps' by Jaeih where Andie and Heather talk to each other.

That said, keep it coming. We need more people posting again. Its like a ghost town here recently...
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The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
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- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2005, 11:45:17 pm »
Good point on the Scots' brogue. "Could'nae" flows, "Could hae" does not. Thanks, Andy. Edited.

EDIT: And then I had to edit this post for grammar and spelling. Yeesh. Note to self, posting late at night and in the wee hours of the morning is a Bad Thing (tm). :D
« Last Edit: December 02, 2005, 11:55:47 pm by CaptJosh »
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There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
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Offline Jaeih t`Radaik

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2005, 01:08:43 pm »
Yup, glad to see you're posting again too, Josh, and a good continuation. Keep 'em coming.

Andy, thanks for the nod. *grin*
"I'm just observing. You know, making observations."
"Great. We'll stick a telescope in your head and put a dome over it, and we can call you an observatory."
Paris and Rory, from "The Gilmore Girls."


Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #24 on: December 07, 2005, 02:08:27 pm »
I'm reading this.  This is one of those that's hard to comment on, and thus I'm waiting for more material to better mold my thoughts.

Jaeih is furiously familiar with this situation.*eyeshift*
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #25 on: December 07, 2005, 03:59:43 pm »
I'll probably post some more when I get done working on a couple machines. I had a plague box that it's taken the better part of two days to disinfect from some nearly 200 instances of various trojans plus two instances of a worm(which took a couple hours) and fumigate  for spyware(which has taken the majority of the time).
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2006, 02:37:22 pm »
Yikes! Its been almost 2 months since I posted a new chapter. Sorry folks. I'll get one up in the next couple days.
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline Jaeih t`Radaik

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2006, 04:33:19 pm »
Still waiiiiiiting...
"I'm just observing. You know, making observations."
"Great. We'll stick a telescope in your head and put a dome over it, and we can call you an observatory."
Paris and Rory, from "The Gilmore Girls."


Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #28 on: February 22, 2006, 04:52:32 pm »
Sorry. Real life has messed with me a bit. I've had a nasty cold recently.
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
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Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2006, 10:18:11 am »
Well, I'm just finishing a contract job today. If I have the energy after I'm done, I'll probably edit this into a story post. My apologies to all for the LOOOOOOONG delay.
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #30 on: March 02, 2006, 11:03:33 am »
Cool beans, Captain.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2006, 03:24:46 am »
Finally, the long awaited...

Chapter 5

Captain's log, Stardate 54872.4: Following the fiasco with the EPS grid, our engineering staff and that of the surplus depot have been working feverishly to completely overhaul the EPS network. Progress is phenomenal, in part due to the knack my chief engineer has for getting more out of people than they thought was their best.

The other reason is that a lot of parts of this ship had been cannibalized for repairing other ships still in service. Most of the duotronics and transtators are gone in many sections that would otherwise be considered non-critical if it had become necessary to reactivate the ship in an emergency to go fight during the war. This is playing to our advantage. In many places, old plasma conduits are simply exposed and ready to remove. This has the added advantage of letting them drop in ODN lines and isolinear chip arrays after replacing the conduits, with no lost time. Once the refit is complete, I intend to put in recommendation for commendation for my entire engineering staff, as well as those from the surplus depot who assisted. End log.



"Come on lads, hustle. Hustle! These three decks will all be finished by th' time alpha shift comes on in the mornin', or ah'll knoo th' reason why!" MacLeod bellowed, his brogue thickening with his exhaustion.

"Commander!" Baker called, "They may get these done by morning, but if you keep up like this, you'll be done by morning too. Go to your quarters, go to bed, and get some sleep."

Connor started, "Ah just need tae..."

"Get some sleep and get it now, Connor. That's what you need," Baker interrupted. "Do I have to call the doctor and have him make it a prescription?"

Commander MacLeod deflated, "Noo sir."

"Good," Baker paused and looked around the deck, then looked back at his chief engineer. "Mac?"

"Aye, Sir?" MacLeod asked.

"You're still here," Jack observed.

"Ah. Sorry sir," LtCdr MacLeod replied. However, he made no move for the lift.

"Dismissed, Commander," Baker barked out in frustration.

MacLeod started, "Oh! Aye sir!" and finally moved to the lift, his Captain looking after him with an ill-concealed grin on his face.

"Geeze, Mac," Baker muttered sotto voce as he left deck 12, and continued to himself while reminiscing, "I thought I was the only one dumb enough to try to pull a triple shift on my first chief engineer's billet."

            *      *      *

Jack walked into the rec room tiredly after finishing a personal assessment of the ship.

"Good evening, Captain," Jack's exec greeted him in a warm contralto.

"Good evening, Genvieve," Jack answered tiredly.

"Long day, Sir?" LtCdr. Lopez asked.

"Long week, Gen. Loooooong week," Jack answered. "Buuuut, I think we might end up almost on schedule anyway. Mac's good. So are his people, and Erik's crews are working very well with ours. Although I did just have to order our intrepid Commander MacCleod to go get some sleep. Regardless, we might end up only needing to do the little stuff, like laying new carpet, on our way out to our first assignment."

"Well Captain, that's good," Genvieve affirmed.

"Gen, we're off duty. Call me Jack. I'm still not used to being 'the old man' yet, anyway," Baker said good-naturedly.

"Captain...Jack, we haven't seen eachother in years," Lopez started, "I..."

"Doesn't matter. We're old academy buddies. Why do you think I requested you as my XO?" Jack interrupted.

"Requested?" Genvieve asked incredulously.

"Is that so hard to believe? When Erik said you were in this sector and hadn't gotten your exec's billet yet, I jumped at the chance. I know almost nobody on this ship, and I needed to be sure I had a first officer whose capabilities and good judgement I knew. You didn't just get shuffled here randomly. I had to call in favors from three different former COs of mine just to get you here, Commander, so don't you ever forget that you're here because you specifically were wanted and needed aboard this ship! Clear, Gen?"

"Clear, Jack," Lieutenant Commander Genvieve Lopez answered with a bemused smile. "You know, you never seemed to value my judgement so much at the Academy."

"We all make mistakes, Gen. I was in love with that nutcase. I didn't know she was a section 8 waiting to happen, and I couldn't be stuffed to listen to anyone speaking ill of her. But that's why I picked you now. Because despite my personal myopia, you were right and you had my best interests at heart. So I know that as my Number One, your sound judgement will serve you just as well now. Only I promise to listen to you this time around," Jack finished with a rather chagrinned look on his face.

"I'll hold you to that," Gen countered, "So here's my first bit of advice. You ordered the chief engineer to bed. Why don't you take a dose of your own medicine? You look like hell, Jack."

Baker answered sardonically, "Gee thanks, Gen. You really know how to cheer a guy up."

"Just go to bed already, Jack. You're dead tired."

"Alright already. I'm going, I'm going!" Jack laughingly answered as he stood up. He then turned toward the door and headed out to his quarters, not seeing the fond smile on his exec's face...
« Last Edit: June 03, 2016, 09:49:35 pm by CaptJosh »
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline Jaeih t`Radaik

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2006, 04:02:06 pm »
Nice, Josh. Good continuation. Now all we need is something like this, say, every week?
"I'm just observing. You know, making observations."
"Great. We'll stick a telescope in your head and put a dome over it, and we can call you an observatory."
Paris and Rory, from "The Gilmore Girls."


Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2006, 04:06:40 pm »
I don't know about every week, but I intend to be much more frequent with my writing. Intentions aside, though, if the characters aren't speaking to me, I don't have anything to write. *shrug*
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There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #34 on: March 23, 2006, 03:49:28 am »
not shrug, write!
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #35 on: March 23, 2006, 07:10:19 am »
Is that a new version of your trademarked "Gimme more!", Grim?
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Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #36 on: March 24, 2006, 02:12:13 am »
:P something like it yeah
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #37 on: March 29, 2006, 10:01:56 pm »
Looking good, Josh. I see you're taking up the idea of the CO and XO having some underlying sexual/romatic theme.

Hmm.... Wonder what gave you that idea... *smiles as he twists your tail*

So, there is more of this, yes?
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #38 on: March 30, 2006, 03:04:50 am »
Actually, I'm leaving it open-ended. They might just be good friends. I don't know. The characters haven't told me yet. And yes, there is more to come.
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: When the Going Gets Tough...
« Reply #39 on: June 19, 2006, 03:06:58 am »
Apologies for a long delay, folks. But without further ado, I present...

Chapter 6

Captain's personal log, stardate 54874.6: With all major repair work virtually complete and the relaunch of the Howard Hughes a day way, I turn to matters of a more festive nature...

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people together in Holy Matrimony. If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be joined together in marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace," the minister spoke, using a formula centuries old, yet somehow always new and wonderful.

Silence filled the chapel on the station.

"Do you, Erik, take Sonja to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health? In good times and in bad? Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Erik smiled at Sonja.

"And do you, Sonja, take Erik to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health? In good times and in bad? Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?"

Softly she answered, "I do," and smiled back at Erik.

"Do you have the rings?"

Erik and Sonja each pulled out the wedding bands and without prompting, Erik first took Sonja's hand and placed the ring on her finger, saying the age old words, "With this ring, I thee wed."

Sonja then took Erik's hand and placed the band on his finger, echoing Erik, "With this ring, I thee wed."

The minister spoke up, "These rings are a symbol covenant between you, sworn and attested to by you in the presence of these witnesses. As the circle has no end, so is your love and faithfulness to one another. With their exchange, you bond yourselves to eachother. So, by the power vested in me by the United Federation of Planets, I now pronounce you husband and wife. And what God has brought together, let none break asunder." The minister paused and turned to Erik, "You may kiss your bride."

Erik took Sonja in his arms and kissed her passionately to the cheers of all assembled, in particular, those of Jack Baker and Genvieve Lopes, though each could not conceal the wistful look their eyes.

As the newlyweds finally broke their kiss, the minister took their hands and turned them toward the assembled officers and enlisted personell. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Erik and Sonja Callahan!"

If anything the cheers were even louder than when they kissed, and the happy couple was stopped on their way down the aisle as people hugged them and offered congratulations.

While Genvieve hung back, Jack walked up to Erik and hugged him, pounding him on the back, then let go and looked at both his friends. "I envy you, Erik. You take good care of him, Sonja."

Sonja replied suggestively, "Oh I'm going to take very good care of him, Jack," which caused Erik to blush almost purple and Jack (and everyone else within earshot, for that matter) to roar with laughter at his friend's expense as they moved out of the chapel and on to the reception.

        *       *       *

"They look so perfect together...," Genvieve observed wistfully as she watched the newlyweds dance.

"That they do, Gen. Than they do," Jack answered softly, startling his exec.

"Commander! I didn't hear you walk up," Lieutenant Lopez replied.

"Come on, Gen. You've known me for years. We're off duty. Call me Jack. Or I'll start calling you 'Lieutenant Commander.'"

In mock horror she replied, "Oh no, Jack! Anything but that!" Genvieve grinned, but then frowned.

"What's wrong?" queried Jack.

"It's just...I see them together," Lopez gestured at Erik and Sonja out on the dance floor, "and I find myself feeling rather lonely. It's times like this that I wonder if I'm ever going to find someone that special, someone to come home to, to spend the rest of my life with..."

A pained look settled Jack's face. He took a shuddering breath and answered shakily, "You and me both, Gen. You and me both..."

Genvieve looked back at her CO, "Oh hell, Jack. I'm sorry. I forgot about...her."

Jack shook his head, "Don't be sorry, Jen. You've nothing to be sorry for. At least someone forgot her. Besides, you've got every right to wonder that after...whatshisname...that idiot who didn't know a good thing when it was right in front of his face. You've as much pain as I." Jack bit his lip as he closed his eyes trying once more to forget the woman who had been the best thing in his life and yet had almost destroyed him.

Lopez moved to Baker's side and put an arm around his waist, hugging him from the side. "You'll be ok, Skipper. So will I. Pain doesn't last forever...," she trailed off and paused, then finished wryly, "It only feels like it."

Jack turned his head to the side and looked at Genvieve with a wry smile of his own. He put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze too, "You said it Gen. You said it," Jack paused for a bit, regarding his XO with a steady gaze, perhaps having begun to see her in a new light.

Genvieve blushed under Baker's gaze, glanced down, then looked back up right into his eyes and smiled, still blushing.

Jack broke the not quite awkward silence as the song changed, "Miz Lopez," he started, his southern accent, normally barely detectable, having suddenly thickened,"May Ah have this dance?"

Gen blushed a touch deeper and matched his accent on purpose, something she had been able to do since their Academy days, "Why Mr. Baker, Ah'd be delighted."

The two moved out onto the dance floor and all traces of their earlier unhappiness vanished as they began to dance and simply enjoy themselves...
« Last Edit: January 31, 2007, 06:38:07 am by CaptJosh »
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.