Dynaverse.net
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Have you ordered your copy of Dynaverse.Net Updated OP Strategy Guide? Order here : LULU.COM

Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Second Chances  (Read 2505 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Governor Ronjar

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 828
  • 'None Farther...'
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #30 on: August 15, 2007, 07:40:09 pm »
Well...frak me. Andromedans are friggin everywhere, man... *looks under bed...*

--thu guv!
Logged

'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #31 on: August 15, 2007, 11:31:49 pm »
Is that really so bad? *eyes something moving behind the guv*

Hehe All I can say is hang tight, its still gathering steam. Unfortunately, it had to be Andromedans as there wasn't much fun in a "random explosion while on a random patrol" set up to get done what I want to get done.   :-X :-X

OT - - I've kind of also been working on a different story at the same time, so that's why the delay. Its so different, in fact, that the only reference to ST:Anything will be what happens to be on the TV at one point.
 - - I've also been tossing around ideas and started laying the foundation for a sequel to this epic, but any info given about that would spoil this one. ;)

Czar "I promise  :):D;D:'(, and  :laugh:, but not necessarily in that order" Mohab
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what they teach you in the Army? Take a leak and wash your hands?
PFC: Yeah. It helps prevent the spread of...
ME: Let me stop you right there. Ya see, The NAVY taught me how not to wizz on my hands. You have a good day now, Private. *Pats PFC on shoulder*

Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

Commander La'ra

  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2191
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #32 on: August 16, 2007, 10:59:14 am »
But what about  :2gun:?

I had the bizarre feeling it was the Andro's after the ambassador mentioned his Masters and said the Klingon Empire was not responsible.  That said, while I usually am not fond of the Andro's as bad guys, your setup seems different enough that it's hooked me. 

Liked the inclusion of the 'stubborn' line.  Whether that was on account of my comment or not, it still tickled me.

Keep it comin'.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2007, 12:29:41 pm by Commander La'ra »
Logged

"Such ingratitude after all the times I've saved your life."
                                      -----------Clint Eastwood, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Scottish Andy

  • First Officer of the Good Ship Kusanagi
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 867
  • Aaah! The light! It burns my eyes!
    • WWW
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #33 on: August 16, 2007, 11:55:45 am »
Hi Czar, sorry for not getting to this before now, but you'll likely be glad of the omission by the time I'm done... lol. I'm going to go through this a post at a time as if I'd answered after each. As you should know from my critiques of the Guv if nothing else, I'm kinda... anal. Consider yourself warned.

So, to begin.

Quote
He was greeted by what he recalled was his executive officer, but with so many new faces and names to learn, it could have easily been the engineer or some other officer.
Without knowing the details of his assignment to the ship, I would have thought he would familiarise himself with the service jackets of his senior crew at least. If he's been hurriedly or suddenly reassigned this line makes sense, but that is not explained in the story.
Quote
He silently noticed that the bridge lacked a proper navigation or communications station.
One would assume that the Navigational functions are at Helm, and Communications are integrated into Tactical/Weapons as in TNG, but again this is not stated here, though it is in the next chapter.

I really liked the "cigar scene". A good, solid bit of character work there, giving us some backstory and personality.

Quote
...We had known that the former CO would take shots at ships and stations across the Zone, using long lance drones…”
“How did he get away with that?” Jones asked. “Wouldn’t that have shown up in the supply logs?”
“He would have them added in secret, and logs altered. He was caught when one of our survey cruisers...
Why did he only get caught when another ship discovered what we has doing? What about the crew of the Apollo? There isn't a declared war if the UFP is working on détente. Why does the XO and senior crew let him fire weapons across the Klingon border? Why didn't they relieve him for conduct unbecoming a Starfleet officer, for trying to cause an interstellar war? The CMO should have forced him to undergo a psych eval at the very least.
This sticks in my craw.

In the crew introductions, I see a lot of good British names. Scottish and Irish specifically. ;D
I also like the use of the 'Master Circuit' pattern for com channels, and the changing of the watches, but you may be going slightly overboard (pun intended) with the protocols (announcing "Ship under way" and all that). Starfleet is more informal than that, even under hardass captains like Jellico. "You/I have the Conn" is the most formal I've heard it except for an actual change of command ceremony.
This ship does seem to be rather heavily armed. 8 phasers for a frigate? 3 photon tubes is what a War Destroyer has, but 8 phasers is heavy cruiser/battlecruiser ground. I was thinking Cerebus may have lots of defensive phasers, maybe even individually numbered Gatling phasers like an SFB FFE.

Quote
“Low power,” Jones replied. “We don’t have enough to maintain your speed and charge everything.” She looked up from her panel and met his gaze. “You weren’t here for the trials, so I guess you didn’t know; we can’t maintain one hundred percent power for longer than ten, maybe fifteen minutes.”
Hmm... shouldn't the captain have been made aware of this before taking command? Usually there is some preparation, some familiarisation with a vessel involved in the selection and placing of a ship commander?
Quote
Cerberus remained behind the warship, dwarfed by its massive size.
If you're going for an Okinawa-sized ship, you should know she's still 183m long, 77m wide and 5 decks thick. A D7 is 246m long and 160m wide, with about 11 or so decks. A D7 definitely outmasses the Oki, but she wouldn't really be "dwarfed". (See? Like I said, anal. ;D) Further, I agree a D7 would have put up more fight. After the Cerberus' second strike wiping out the D7's impulse, he still had full warp power, and a D7 has greater manoeuvrability than even a Battle Frigate, and 5 aft-firing Phaser 1s. Cerberus would have been at least slightly damaged, maybe moderately, as the D7 would have turned his full attention on the Cerberus at that point.
Quote
“So now we are offering aid and comfort to the enemy? They were attacking innocent and mostly unarmed vessels. If I should have done anything different it would have been to beam their crew into space, then destroy the cruiser.”
This indicates a personal antipathy towards or even outright hatred of the Klingons - which is fair enough to have based on his past - but saying so to an Admiral indicates extreme imprudence and lack of judgement on his part too. That kind of remark is enough to get you busted from the Fleet, never mind a reprimand.
Quote
Cerberus is a ship of war, not intended to carry the enemy
Wrong attitude for a Fred captain, but at least he kept it to himself this time. And the Federation doesn't build ships of war, or warships. They build starships, and ships that defend.
Quote
Translated, the ships name is, roughly, 'Hell Hound'
Cerberus is the proper name of the Hound of Hades. It doesn't mean "hell hound".
Quote
Cast off all lines
More 20th-century terminology. ST II uses "clear all moorings".

The spacedock doors stunt... If I were Admiral Baker - who I admit is typical of the politicised navy officers everywhere with his "we need to built peace" line that captains love to roll eyes at - I would send out a light cruiser or something to immediately relieve McDougal of command and court martial him. *shrugs*

More later - if you can stand it. Czar, please take no offence at these comments. I'm not saying this to wind you up, but to help you get better. Just ask the Guv. I did this to him as well. :D
Logged

http://www.starbase23.net

"A nation trying to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to pull himself up by the handles." - Sir Winston Churchill

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

2288

Commander Maxillius

  • You did NOT just shoot that green sh-t at me?!?
  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2119
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #34 on: August 16, 2007, 12:45:06 pm »
Andy could be a publisher with his mad-leet proofreading skillz  ;D  There's a reason why they call it "Andy-proofing"  :D


As for the future Andros...  Anyone know where I can find a story with dialog from "current" Andros?  Compare and contrast and all that.
Logged

I was never here, you were never here, this conversation never took place, and you most certainly did not see me.

Commander La'ra

  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2191
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #35 on: August 16, 2007, 01:19:04 pm »
I will now do my 'poke Andy in the ribs' post, a long and valued Dyna Fanfic tradition.  This is to control Andy's anal tendencies in the same way he seeks to control our grammar and attention to niggling detail. ;D

Without knowing the details of his assignment to the ship, I would have thought he would familiarise himself with the service jackets of his senior crew at least. If he's been hurriedly or suddenly reassigned this line makes sense, but that is not explained in the story.

The first is a valid point.  The only counter-argument I can think of is that seeing a picture of someone and meeting them in person can be two very different things.  Well, that, and it's also possible that our protagonist just isn't that good with matching names and faces, an affliction I can sympathize with, and Czar did mention the 'so many to learn factor'...while I figure he would pay special attention to his XO and other senior officers it's still possible to not have anything near perfect recall of such details before having met the people in question.

I DID get the impression his assignment to the Cerebus was hasty.  I don't however, remember that being specifically mentioned.

Quote
He silently noticed that the bridge lacked a proper navigation or communications station.

No reason to have the reason for such right there.  Having it in the next chapter is fine, and also shows the Captain learning how his ship works in more detail.

Quote
I really liked the "cigar scene". A good, solid bit of character work there, giving us some backstory and personality.

Me too. ;)

Quote
Why did he only get caught when another ship discovered what we has doing? What about the crew of the Apollo? There isn't a declared war if the UFP is working on détente. Why does the XO and senior crew let him fire weapons across the Klingon border? Why didn't they relieve him for conduct unbecoming a Starfleet officer, for trying to cause an interstellar war? The CMO should have forced him to undergo a psych eval at the very least.
This sticks in my craw.

This particular criticism is misplaced.  While, in a perfect world, your balances would counteract the Captain's checks, there was not enough information presented to make any assumptions about what happened.

We don't know the previous captains motives for firing, his method of hiding his actions from his crew or convincing them it was all okay, and we don't know that his crew didn't agree with his actions to begin with.  Hell, we don't even know that he wasn't acting under orders, and was then hung out to dry as a scapegoat when he carelessly allowed another Federation ship to see what he was doing.

There's plenty of scenarios that would allow this to happen.  It's actually less extreme than the actions of the USS Phoenix in the TNG episode 'The Wounded', and relatively typical using the real-world 'Cold War' as a guide.

Quote
In the crew introductions, I see a lot of good British names. Scottish and Irish specifically. ;D
I also like the use of the 'Master Circuit' pattern for com channels, and the changing of the watches, but you may be going slightly overboard (pun intended) with the protocols (announcing "Ship under way" and all that). Starfleet is more informal than that, even under hardass captains like Jellico. "You/I have the Conn" is the most formal I've heard it except for an actual change of command ceremony.

Depictions of military protocol really depend on how the author wants to portray Starfleet.  While onscreen the organization is much more casual, that doesn't mean things can't be portrayed in a different light in other media.
 
Quote
This ship does seem to be rather heavily armed. 8 phasers for a frigate? 3 photon tubes is what a War Destroyer has, but 8 phasers is heavy cruiser/battlecruiser ground. I was thinking Cerebus may have lots of defensive phasers, maybe even individually numbered Gatling phasers like an SFB FFE.

I actually sort of agree with this, but the fact is, the Cerebus has whatever the author says she has, and the reader DOES have some responsibility to go along with it even if it flies in the face of source material not written by the author of the particular story.

Example:  You're very fond of the whole 'warp drive in the nacelles' thing for ships prior to a certain date, and have no problem using it in your stories despite the fact that canon clearly shows the system has never operated that way.  You use the idea because you prefer it, and others have the same right.

Quote
Hmm... shouldn't the captain have been made aware of this before taking command? Usually there is some preparation, some familiarisation with a vessel involved in the selection and placing of a ship commander?

Strongly agree.  That's sure as hell important enough to make sure the CO knows.  Why, imagine La'ra's reaction if someone didn't tell him something like that!  Or Ford's!

Or, God be merciful on the messenger who did finally tell him, Krenn's. ;D

Quote
Cerberus remained behind the warship, dwarfed by its massive size.

Subjective.  The D7 is bigger, and to the crew of the Cerebus, 'dwarfed' might be an entirely appropriate word.

I've already said my own piece on the fight scene, so I won't comment any more on that.

Quote
This indicates a personal antipathy towards or even outright hatred of the Klingons - which is fair enough to have based on his past - but saying so to an Admiral indicates extreme imprudence and lack of judgement on his part too. That kind of remark is enough to get you busted from the Fleet, never mind a reprimand.

I doubt one remark would get him busted from the fleet.  You're overstating things.

I do agree with the 'extreme imprudence and lack of judgement' part, but I've already commented on that as well.

Quote
Wrong attitude for a Fred captain, but at least he kept it to himself this time. And the Federation doesn't build ships of war, or warships. They build starships, and ships that defend.

Depends on who's depicting the Federation.  Czar seems to stick closer to an SFB-style UFP, and their Starfleet is more militaristic than ST's.  In any case, this is the opinion of one character in the story, and while you are seeing it as the 'wrong attitude' for a Fed captain, that may very well be the point.

Quote
Cerberus is the proper name of the Hound of Hades. It doesn't mean "hell hound".

No, but it might've seemed close enough to the person doing the translating, and simplifying the comparison would be natural.

Quote
More 20th-century terminology. ST II uses "clear all moorings".

Author's perogative.  ST also uses warp-cores from the beginning. ;D

Quote
The spacedock doors stunt... If I were Admiral Baker - who I admit is typical of the politicised navy officers everywhere with his "we need to built peace" line that captains love to roll eyes at - I would send out a light cruiser or something to immediately relieve McDougal of command and court martial him. *shrugs*

Stupid move on Baker's part, to do that, as if I were HIS CO, I'd put his ass in hock too for imperiling a Starfleet ship commiting a minor traffic violation.  Thus, it would be smart of him to let it go.

This opinion still doesn't change the fact I have serious problems with that whole scene.

Quote
More later - if you can stand it. Czar, please take no offence at these comments. I'm not saying this to wind you up, but to help you get better. Just ask the Guv. I did this to him as well. :D

Take this part seriously, Czar.  Andy is trying to be helpful, and he does this to everyone.  He's just a Scot and has no tact or manners.  To say nothing of his bad hygeine and fondness for sheep.

 ;D
Logged

"Such ingratitude after all the times I've saved your life."
                                      -----------Clint Eastwood, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Scottish Andy

  • First Officer of the Good Ship Kusanagi
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 867
  • Aaah! The light! It burns my eyes!
    • WWW
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #36 on: August 16, 2007, 01:38:32 pm »
Quote
Take this part seriously, Czar.  Andy is trying to be helpful, and he does this to everyone.  He's just a Scot and has no tact or manners.  To say nothing of his bad hygeine and fondness for sheep.
Oh, you total bastard!  :o  This, coming from a Suh-thu-ner! Oh pot, thou are black.  :angel:

As one of the Guv's characters said:
Quote
“Hey,” the helmsman held up a semi-threatening finger, then lowered it. “I don’t have a good come-back. But when I do, I’m gonna let you have it.”

In between personal attacks and such (:P) Larry does make some good points. ;)  I'll bear that in mind for critiquing the rest of the story.
Logged

http://www.starbase23.net

"A nation trying to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to pull himself up by the handles." - Sir Winston Churchill

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

2288

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #37 on: August 16, 2007, 06:07:34 pm »
But what about  :2gun:?

Liked the inclusion of the 'stubborn' line.  Whether that was on account of my comment or not, it still tickled me.

Didn't see that smiley, but that too ;) ; and 'stubborn' was an inspiration from you.

Andy, La'ra did a good job covering for me in my absence, and I will only touch up on a few points, and possibly clarify:
 
The XO and Eng are same age, rank, gender, etc... When I was first posted to my ship, I could hardly find my way around, let alone determine who's face went with what name. To make matters worse, the Eng and the XO at that time(same rank and gender, similar age) actually looked alike. Only way to tell the two apart (for me, being new) was that the Eng looked like walking dead after a few days in port. Calling them by name was often a guess for me. I was going from personal experience with this.

As to Cerberus herself, see my production notes:

USS Cerberus, NX-12093
FFBX class (Frigate, Battle, Advanced)
3 PHOT FA 6 x PH-1; 2 FX; 2 LS; 2 RS 2 x PH-G; 1 LS; 1 RS Drone 2 GX*
SHIELDS: USE FFX OR XFF IN OP*
Warp 12+12+12* Imp 4* AWR 4* BTTY 4 (2 batteries at double charge)
Lab 2 C HULL 8 BR 2 AUX 1 EMER 1 TRAC 2 TRAN 2 SHUTTLE 2
DAM CON 6 EX DAM 6* SENSOR 6 5 4 3 2 1 SCANNER 0 1 2 4 5 6
MVMT COST: 1/2:1, TURN MODE:**
TBOMB/DUMMY:4/4
CREW SFB: USE FFX +1
CREW ST: SFBx10 + 2
MARINES SFB: USE FFX +2
MARINES ST: SFBx5 - 3

*PLAYTEST AND CHANGE AS REQUIRED, NOT TO POWERFUL NOW*
**LOOK UP**
I haven't done a lot of playtesting to tweak the power curve, and not having an SSD handy for FFB or FFX, I guessed at some things. I'll probably get some more comments about the curve, but its still being worked out.

D7D vs. FFBX:

Size matters not. It is hard to run this simulation for most desired effects without lots of SFB material that I am not currently in possesion of, not counting arranging for and playing it out. I did my best with SFC:OP and went from there. I used the assumption that this D7D was/is normally operating across the lines and wasn't full up on supplies, let alone focusing its attack on the two frigates it encountered. The focus of a convoy raid is to get in, do as much damage to the convoy as possible, and get out. Also, any D-series hull should be able to handle a mere frigate. BUT: My combat style focuses on the enemy's weakness, in this case, the #4 shield:

The protective shield faltered and failed, allowing the torpedoes unhindered access to the unprotected hull. Whether it was luck or a good tactical officer's targeting skills didn't matter, as the single overloaded weapon found its mark in the main impulse complex, causing massive eruptions of fire and escaping atmosphere. "Overload all torpedoes, all available power to shield one. Helm, stay with him, but let him open to three thousand." Cerberus remained behind the warship, dwarfed by its massive size. Four pinpoints of energy erupted from the now wounded combatant; drones sent to their next target. Without hesitation, Cerberus fired her defensive phasers, destroying the incoming missiles almost effortlessly. "Tactical, priority targets: warp, impulse and weapons, in that order."

    "Overload phasers, too, Miss T'Sala. Let's end this."

   The Klingon ship managed a small counter attack with its phasers, and began a vain attempt to shake its adversary.
I was attempting to convey that the smaller and "less capable" vessel had scored a very desirable series of hits. Alas, I should have mentioned that the other two "orbs of death" also impacted. 32 DPs without a shield = bad day for anyone. Diverting extra power to #1 shield along with the reduced speed of Cerberus should have indicated that there was some extra protection, even while O/L'ing torps, et al. Enough of this part though, its not the focus of the story.

Apollo

Ship of mystery and deceit! I didn't think it was a requirement to go into more detail about why or how, seeing that it was from McDougal's point of view. Would Command tell him why the ship would have those orders? Would Command even acknowledge such orders, had they actually been issued? Heck, wouldn't Command want to cover up this incident as best as possible? McDougal just didn't know exactly why or how, just that it happened. The old CO and most of those involved were relieved, those with a lesser knowledge or involvement were retained, only to sprout rumors and speculations about the incident. No more on this subject.

The DOORS of DOOM!

Can't a guy have a little fun with his writing? Conclusion to this infamous scene will eventually arrive. Towards the end. Which is a long way down the road...

WARP POWER LEVEL!

"Captain, I know you've only been assigned and on board for a few days, and we were going to tell you at the next staff meeting, but now that we're entering a totally unexpected and power intensive scenario, you should know..."

Going for the hastily assigned and not quite familiar with everything yet point of view.

Its the Federation, Jim, but not as we know it...

Depends on who's depicting the Federation. Czar seems to stick closer to an SFB-style UFP, and their Starfleet is more militaristic than ST's. In any case, this is the opinion of one character in the story, and while you are seeing it as the 'wrong attitude' for a Fed captain, that may very well be the point.


This is true. Now if I could just remember the quote that Janeway said about the TOS time period I'd be set. Something about space was bigger and more dangerous.

For a time period reference, I'm writing Pre-Operation Unity, Post General War... about Y192-194. I haven't set that in stone yet.

To sum up: the questions and comments, harsh or light or whatever you feel that they are, are desired. No offense was taken, nor was I miffed by anything.

Czar " :pirate: :drink:" Mohab, who should look at the "more" button more often...
[/color]
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what they teach you in the Army? Take a leak and wash your hands?
PFC: Yeah. It helps prevent the spread of...
ME: Let me stop you right there. Ya see, The NAVY taught me how not to wizz on my hands. You have a good day now, Private. *Pats PFC on shoulder*

Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

Governor Ronjar

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 828
  • 'None Farther...'
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #38 on: August 16, 2007, 08:33:58 pm »
Holy Crap at the insane references to canon, quasi-canon and SFB rules!

Glad I'm only coming in on the tale of this conversation and not getting overly involved. My stand on all these should be reasonably well known. Write your story.

I myself am enjoying this tale, even over the spacedock door incident. If you say the ship has X-amount of guns, I'm right there with ya. The Frech mounted two 8" guns on the Surcouf-class subs in '35 and it worked. The only reason it didn't sink anything was the natural Frech propensity for being disinclined to do more than wave white flags at Germany during that time period [not quite tru, but to those other than the French, probably funny]. England had it's M-Class. It had a 12" gun! A 12-inch gun!!! The US Narwhal had two 6" guns, and it was VERY effective at what it did.

So I have no real technical quips over what you say a ship has. [this is also in response to when Endeavour eventually opens up with her Mark 4 phasers...which will one day happen]. 

I used to be the worst stickler for canon vs. noncanon, tech vs. what you see in an episode/book/story. It detracts from your ability to enjoy the tale if you're too worried about such things. Can it be pushed to beyond believable? Sure. Thus far, noe of us has gone any where near there. Though I am of the opinion the Cerberus/D-7 fight should have been longer... But then...I like me some long fight scenes...

--said too much about nothing...thu guv!
Logged

'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #39 on: August 16, 2007, 09:00:19 pm »
This is exactly why I should never post responses in a hurry. I forget to mention things.

Like how I was attacking this problem as a whole. SFB rules are being used as guidelines, to get an idea for what can and can't be done. Canon is being used as reference material, who Kirk nailed with a phaser or his tally whacker not included, such that an overall feel can be attained. I'd honestly believe that if I wrote solely to canon or SFB alone, alot would be missing. By blending the two, I feel I can accomplish more with less.

Quasi-Canon is what is the result, ships slightly more capable than others of the era, battles that can be shortened or lengthened to fit the needs of the story... No one complained (that I recall) when General Lee was introduced with four nacelles... Its all about what can be done with what was done.

Czar "think I rambled" Mohab

P.S. One more thing: You never see formal watch turnovers in TV trek, or movies, or even in other stories. You won't find much more in this one. The reason being is that it is assumed to have happened before, and usually there isn't time to be formal. Example from the real world, US Navy: "Battle Stations Torpedo" watch turnovers usually occurred as a high five "I had it, you got it" deal, often seen in the shows. I can neither confirm nor deny that once or twice there wasn't even anyone to relieve when I arrived.
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what they teach you in the Army? Take a leak and wash your hands?
PFC: Yeah. It helps prevent the spread of...
ME: Let me stop you right there. Ya see, The NAVY taught me how not to wizz on my hands. You have a good day now, Private. *Pats PFC on shoulder*

Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

Scottish Andy

  • First Officer of the Good Ship Kusanagi
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 867
  • Aaah! The light! It burns my eyes!
    • WWW
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #40 on: August 20, 2007, 06:37:04 am »
Just finished this now, Czar, and I'm getting interested.
Logged

http://www.starbase23.net

"A nation trying to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to pull himself up by the handles." - Sir Winston Churchill

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

2288

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #41 on: August 29, 2007, 10:29:10 pm »
And now a small part to keep you all going. Sorry for the delay.

   McDougal smiled impatiently as the lights and systems on the ancient warship finally returned to a full operating status. “Well?” he asked Perkins. “Can we send a distress call or even contact Cerberus?”
   Perkins gave him a look of dissatisfaction. “We have short range only, not much farther than what our hand-held units can get us. Cerberus may be having issues as well, I don’t see any damage to the communications array, but I don’t know the full extent of her damage. We’ll have to wait for them to contact us, if they can. They do appear to have begun powering up the warp drive, but no way to tell how long this will continue, yet.”
   “Excellent,” the captain replied. He picked up his communicator and held it a moment. He had never heard of one running out of power during an away mission, but not knowing when he’d get the chance to recharge it made him think twice before using it. “Get me engineering,” he said softly, returning the device once again to its perch.
   Perkins nodded at him and pointed to a panel on the aft bulkhead. “Green button turns it on, third yellow down is the engine room, and the red button will close the channel and power the unit down.” Perkins held his tricorder up so that his captain could see the schematic, alleviating the need to explain how he knew. McDougal turned around and headed to the smallish panel. He followed Perkins’ walkthrough and waited for a response. “There should be a flashing button on the other side of the line, all they have to do is push it and…”
   The loud burst of static that bellowed forth from the internal communications system was hardly the response any of them expected. Before any of them could speak, a second and longer burst followed and just as abruptly faded, leaving dead silence in its wake. “I had the communications array set up for passive receiving,” Perkins started, “just in case Cerberus was able to contact us… but that static was similar to what we received before all this mess started.”
   “Source and destination?” McDougal questioned him.
   “Source unknown, too far out, I’d reckon. But I think I might be able to find the intended recipient…” Perkins’ voice trailed off as he set to work searching space and attempting to triangulate his sensors on the intended target. Silence filled the bridge, only broken by the soft beeping of the science console’s buttons being pushed. “Appears to me that the target was within the system, however I can not get any kind of sensor lock on where it was or anyplace where it might be.”
   “Cloaked ship?” Doc Johnson’s voice called from the now active com circuit. McDougal almost jumped in surprise at the voice.
   “Perhaps,” Perkins continued, “but also any vessel running in stealth mode would be hard to get a fix on with these sensors.”
   “Where was it at when it received the transmissions?” McDougal asked.
   “Approximately six kilometers from us, and five from Cerberus.”
   “Keep the sensors in sweep mode, who ever it is might get jumpy if they suspect that we know about them, and do everything you can to keep us looking crippled. Still there, Doc?”
   “Not like I can beam back home, Shawn, ” Doc answered sarcastically.
   “I need you and the el tee to see about any weapons and shields, we might need them.”
   “Shawn, this rat trap has been adrift for ages, its unlikely that anything would work well…
   “There should be one type ‘R’ plasma chamber and launcher, control room is on deck two, centerline, against the forward bulkhead,” Michaels interjected from beside Perkins, reading the data from the temporary translator panel.
   “We’re on our way then, Walker says that the shield grid is fully functional, but we don’t have a lot of power to play with, so go gently.
   “Can do; keep us informed, use the ship’s intercom when you can, we’re trying to spare the hand units’ power.”
   “Will do, Shawn, Johnson, out. ” Instead of the normal click of the transmission ending, another burst of static filled the bridge speakers.
   “That one came from inside of us,” Perkins started, reading his panel, “directed towards the same area near us.”

   Despite forcing all emotion from her, T’Sala smiled. It was small, unnoticeable, a twitch in the right corner of her mouth, but she smiled. She had succeeded in rerouting the power grid, bypassing damaged sections and energizing still functioning circuits. It was fortunate that her success coincided with the XO’s restoration of the warp power system. Granted, they still had a very long way to go to make the ship operational, but T’Sala was pleased with the progress. She realized her invisible smirk and forced the emotion away.
   “Try the communications array again,” Jones’ voice came through T’Sala’s panel. “I bypassed the major fault, we should have something.
   “External communications are on line,” T’Sala replied in her calm Vulcan voice. “Range is currently extremely limited, however.”
   “It’s a start. How about sensors? Are they functional?
   “Fully functional, now that we have sufficient power to run them.” The warp core hummed and thrummed softly behind her as the computer brought it up slowly to a stable power output.
   “Sounds like we’ve managed to escape catastrophe for now. Any other system I need to look into while I’m in here?
   “No, ma’am. Technicians are working to repair the transporters and restore access to the shuttle bays. Estimate ten minutes for completion.”
   “I’m on my way out then, see you in…” Jones’ voice was cut off by two separate bursts of loud static. “Was that what I think it was?
   “Fascinating, and yes it was. Sensors are attempting to triangulate source and destination. Pinpointing now… Source is unknown; however, the destination is a small vessel, approximately the size of a shuttle craft. I am attempting to regain lock-on.”
   “Here,” Jones called from across the engine room, and closing down her communicator. She placed her tool kit down on a nearby desk panel and continued her approach to T’Sala. “Can you predict course and speed?”
   “Zero point one warp, heading towards us, range is five thousand kilometers and closing.”
   “Any idea who our guests are?”
   “Negative at this time. Detecting transporter activity.” T’Sala paused and watched her sensor board as the last bit of the lock on faded into nothingness. Even the tell-tale wisp of engine exhaust vanished from the sensor’s watchful eye.
   “Contact the captain and inform him of our situation.”
   “Unable to comply, jamming is in progress.”
   “Power up all available weapons and shields,” Jones said, sounding panicked. “And target the source of the jamming.”
   “I would advise against that, the source is coming from the Romulan vessel.” A third burst of static interrupted the exchange. “As was that.”

   “Tactical drone is aboard the Romulan vessel,” O’Pellentyippt’k’l’s thoughts filled the small cabin. “Receiving telemetry, extermination program initiated.
   “Good, very good,” P’T’sloonghtf’s reply came. “And the Federation vessel?
   “Shields and weapons are powering up; a useless tactic. They shall not detect us again.
   “Excellent. With the information gathered from our spy on Earth, we should be able to continue uninterrupted, once we finish here. The fools of this galaxy should never have established a focal point for their campaign against us. With that Romulan vessel, we can safely destroy Hyperion Station and create a rift amongst them.
   “Once the campaign to claim this galaxy is complete, what will become of us?
   “You mustn’t worry of such things.
   “Every attempt to invade this galaxy has been thwarted, P’T’sloonghtf. Our own galaxy is almost destroyed…
   “I realize that temporal mechanics is a hard subject for you, however, once we succeed, you’ll not remember a thing, this galaxy will be ours to rule over, now enough of this nonsense.
   “I have finished the final programming for the drone. As soon as the humans are destroyed, we can eliminate the Federation vessel and continue on with our plan. Both vessels are attempting to search for us. Maintaining stealth against the Romulan vessel is proving difficult. They have intermittent sensor locks.
   “The drone better hurry then.

   
Czar "Just a teaser, more soon" Mohab

P.S. "el tee" = L.T. = LT = Lieutenant ;)
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what they teach you in the Army? Take a leak and wash your hands?
PFC: Yeah. It helps prevent the spread of...
ME: Let me stop you right there. Ya see, The NAVY taught me how not to wizz on my hands. You have a good day now, Private. *Pats PFC on shoulder*

Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #42 on: August 30, 2007, 02:09:46 am »
OK, You all win. Here's some more for you to keep you going. Is it sad that I dreamt most of this scene?


   O’Kelly dodged another phaser blast from the massive assault robot that had materialized behind them. He shouted for Doc to continue towards the massive weapon’s control room whilst he would try to persuade the robotic beast away from there. So far, the plan succeeded, the massive contraption was lumbering behind O’Kelly, following him through the corridors of the ship’s second deck.
   There wasn’t much to them, most of the crew’s quarters were on this deck, and his recent tour gave him a slight advantage. He made his way through to one of the open doors and ducked inside, avoiding yet another blast of phaser fire. There was one luxury that this vessel had, and that was what on Earth would be called a cast iron claw footed tub, and it was located within the confines of these quarters. The assault drone paused as it found the proper programming to negotiate the smaller framed door, allowing the security chief more time to prepare.
   O’Kelly drew his weapon and fired at the two closer feet of the tub, and with a resounding thud, it fell slightly on its longer side. Quickly, he turned and fired another shot, this time aimed at the robot still struggling to get through the door. He stopped his assault temporarily and dove behind the tub as the monstrosity finally gave up ducking and just forced its way into the room.
   It was humanoid in shape, and had it not been a robot, it would have been very muscular. O’Kelly took a moment to recall the image of the drone in his minds eye; round dome for a head, large chest and arms, more than two meters tall, short, stubby legs and red glowing eyes, all set on a jet black frame, both arms sporting inhuman hands and hard welded weapons. A flash of inspiration crossed his mind just as flashes of phaser fire splashed against the slightly overturned tub.
   O’Kelly sprang straight up, all of his weapons training flooding through him as he made his mark in the split second afforded him. Phaser light illuminated the room as the beam spat from his weapon and struck home on the robots left eye. Temporarily blinded and possibly enraged, the drone began firing wildly about the room, never once coming close to O’Kelly. The Lieutenant cursed softly as the phaser began to heat in his hands, a not so subtle warning that he should cease fire soon. He couldn’t, not yet, not until that ever so satisfying pop of the drone’s head exploding would echo through the room. Its head turned a bright white, and with a silent explosion erupted in a cloud of sparks and debris. It was after O’Kelly ceased firing that the pop came. He smiled, but his elation was cut short as the drone continued firing, this time in his direction.
   O’Kelly managed to duck, enough to avoid being seriously hit, but one of the shots hit him in the left shoulder. He ignored the pain, helped along by adrenalin. His mind raced for a new solution, this time he wouldn’t be able to surprise the robot. He felt the tub beginning to heat up as the robot continued its onslaught. And then, nothing, the beast stopped firing, a faint whirr came from it. Reloading, O’Kelly thought. He leapt up as fast as injuries would allow, and fired again, this time at the mechanical’s left leg. The phaser drained itself of energy, and in a slow motion blur, the robot raised its arms while O’Kelly dropped his spent energy pack and reloaded.
   The mechanical was fast, but O’Kelly was faster, his lance of energy striking the drone in the groin, severing its left leg from the rest of the body. With an explosion of sparks, the robot fell forward. Undeterred, the robot self severed its other leg and began to rise again, using its long arms now as legs. Two doors opened on its chest, revealing four yet unknown weapon muzzles. “Fekn fantastic,” O’Kelly said as he charged the still recovering robot. He ducked around and behind it, and landed a ferocious kick to its back, forcing the beast to fall forward slightly. O’Kelly kept pushing, using all the weight he could to knock his assailant over. With a thud, the robot fell again, but did not attempt to return to a standing position.
   O’Kelly quickly backed off away from the beast, and commenced discharging the remainder of his phaser into the back of the hideous thing. With his free hand, he retrieved his communicator and attempted to call his captain, but was thwarted by static on the line. Even under sustained phaser fire, the robot continued to live, and it began to struggle again to its “feet”. A shimmer of transporter light shone briefly above the robot’s shoulders and faded, revealing a new head.
   “Bloody self replicating bastard!” O’Kelly shouted at the machine. “Why can’t you just die?” Phaser energy once again depleted, he quickly swapped in his last charged pack. As the empty clattered noisily to the ground, he noticed an open hole in the robots armor. He set the controls of the phaser to overload and jammed it into the hole. For his efforts, the robot thanked him by reaching around and grabbing his right elbow, crushing humorous, radius, and ulna under its brute strength. O’Kelly screamed in pain and surprise, and struggled in vain to be released from the monstrosity’s grip. Despite the pain, he reached painfully with his free hand and drew his palm phaser from his belt. He heard the whine as the other phaser increased its overload to near critical. Time was precious, and he began to use his last hope to try to sever the massive hand that held him from its arm.

   The ship rocked violently and suddenly McDougal’s communicator chirped to life. He walked to the device and opened it. “… I say again we’ve been invaded,” Doc’s voice came from the device. “ O’Kelly’s drawn the one off on deck two… There may be more…
   “I think he might have got him, Doc,” the captain replied. “Stay focused and on mission. I’ll try to find him myself.”
   “I made it to the plasma control room. Tricorder says everything is in working order. I’ll see what I can do about getting this thing charged, or at least get the controls open for bridge control.
   “Very well, keep us posted, McDougal, out.” He closed down the device. “Perkins?”
   “Still receiving intermittent contact from the hostile,” Perkins replied. “I believe that we can maintain lock long enough to charge and fire the plasma.”
   “Michaels, make sure they stay in firing arc, I don’t want them to escape what is coming to them. You both know what to do, and I don’t care who is in charge, flip for it.” With that, he turned and left to find O’Kelly and to help Doc.
   “Aye, sir,” they replied in unison. The duo turned to each other, and compared rank insignias on their chest patches, both knowing full well that Michaels was the junior. The helmsman pointed at Perkins with both index fingers in a “you got it now!” gesture.

Czar "Here we go!" Mohab, who notes that this isn't quite half way yet.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2007, 07:28:48 pm by Czar Mohab »
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what they teach you in the Army? Take a leak and wash your hands?
PFC: Yeah. It helps prevent the spread of...
ME: Let me stop you right there. Ya see, The NAVY taught me how not to wizz on my hands. You have a good day now, Private. *Pats PFC on shoulder*

Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #43 on: August 31, 2007, 11:50:54 pm »
Would have thought that that would have gained at least one response. Oh well. Here's more. Side note: This section underwent a HUGE rewrite to make it flow better. And to make the fight scene much longer (although, it was really long before the edit). And to help Andy-proof.


   Cerberus shook violently, this time causing small explosions of sparks and smoke from overloaded and now damaged control panels. Slowly, she began sublight maneuvers with her warp drive to shake her attacker. Behind them, the tiny black speck of a ship let loose torrents of charged energy. “Shields are failing,” T’Sala said, her calm voice seemed misplaced in the din. “Power grid overload,” she said as the ship shook again. “Shields have failed.”
   “Where’s the damage?” Jones asked her, slightly panicked. “Can you restore power to the shields?” Cerberus shook again as the enemy’s energy weapon sliced neatly into bare hull.
   “I believe I can.” The Vulcan turned and started for the tool kit that Jones had left. “It will have to be done manually at junction three seven alpha.”
   “I’ll go,” Jones said, grabbing T’Sala by the arm. She looked to the small alcove where the engineer was only just recently. EMAT had finally come to take McCloud to sickbay, without much notice to the busy crew about the engine room. “You can pilot the ship faster and better than I can, just make sure that there is atmosphere for me on deck three when I arrive.”
   T’Sala halted her advance, silently nodded and watched as Jones started to leave the engine room. She quickly turned back to her panels; she brought up a schematic of the ship, showing the power distribution network and damages already taken. She busied herself with one hand rerouting power to the emergency force field grid and opening pressure bulkheads that would allow Jones access to deck three and the damaged power relay.  With the other, she programmed the ship’s helm on an evasive course away from the relatively unseen attacker.
    Cerberus shook yet again, this time as she made a staggered jump from sublight to faster than light speed. Unbeknownst to them, this activity prevented further weapons impact, for the moment. “XO?” T’Sala questioned as she opened a channel to Jones’ communicator.
   “Jones,” came the hurried reply. She sounded almost as if she were panting
   “I have rerouted what power I could to assist you. Emergency force fields are currently holding, and atmospheric pressure is beginning to stabilize.”
   “I’m almost to deck three now; I’ll keep you posted, Jones, out.
   The menacing attacker switched into high warp speed, intent on finishing what it had started with it’s now escaping prey. Blue-orange fingers of light licked forward towards the almost helpless frig-naught, missing the ship enough not to cause serious harm. Cerberus’s jerking, erratic course was the only thing keeping them alive. T’Sala felt her hands grow weary with the constant exertion of piloting the ship, literally single handedly, but she forced herself to work through the pain, the cramping sensations, and the ominous distraction of Cerberus’s growling hull.

   Jones crawled out from a Jefferies tube and emerged onto what remained of the after portion of deck three. She walked carefully amongst the rubble towards the gaping hole that was the hull. Stars streaked by the massive opening in the rent hull, the occasional flicker of the emergency force field reminding her of how close they were to annihilation. We got damned lucky she thought as she looked upon the scorched nose of the center warp drive nacelle. It was a miracle that the thing wasn’t otherwise damaged.  In the distance, she could make out the dark form of their attacker, highlighted by the blue-orange wisps of energy weapons it was continuously firing. It didn’t look much different than any shuttle currently in Starfleet service; save that it was either constructed from a glossy black substance or painted that way. It was at least as large as a large cargo shuttle. Sleek lines flowed over the craft from its pointed nose, only interrupted by the protrusions from weapons mounts. She’d counted eight forward, mostly from the weapons discharging. Jones suspected that the ship had more. Had she been able to see the ship fully, she would have seen another six mounted weapons, two each to port, starboard, and aft. Whatever propelled the craft was seamlessly integrated into its hull, either for protection or streamlining; she could not determine which. And there was that slight change in color above and below what she suspected was the control center, a slight variation of blackness. As to what these areas were for, she could only guess.
   Another though occurred to her. Quickly, she opened her communicator and signaled for the engine room.
   “T’Sala here,” the Vulcan replied.
   “Are we out of the jammer’s range or did it go off line?”
   “I do not know, I can not read anything with sensors in the state that they are in. Power to primary systems is fluctuating.
   “Swing by the Romulan vessel, then. I’ll keep this line open as a test. If the jamming is stopped, contact the captain and inform of our situation, and see if they can assist.”
   “Altering course.
   Jones smiled and quickly turned towards where a mangled access hatch held the power relay she sought. The hatch was already mostly off, and removing it was a breeze. She was surprised to find that there was a lone body, sitting silently, arms locked on an open door frame. She’d thought that the blast and sudden vacuum would have expelled them all into space.
   Quickly, she reached inside at the node and forced the main breaker on. A lightning snap from behind her caught her attention, and in a flash, she felt herself being pulled towards the opening in the hull. In the distance, she could hear the successive thumps of emergency bulkheads shutting. The rush of escaping atmosphere became deafening, and with all her strength she attempted to make her way to the safety of the Jefferies tube. She lost her footing and slid, farther from the safe confines of the hole, and towards open space. “T’Sala!” she shouted as her communicator flew from her hand.

   McDougal made his way to the site of the explosion on deck two quickly. Fortunately, the hull didn’t breach, but there was a hole that now opened down to deck three below; but there was no sign of O’Kelly or whatever had invaded them. The charred crater and quarters lead him to believe that there was no way anyone could have survived if they had been here when the explosion occurred. He left the blast zone and made his way to Doc, following a trail of dried blood.
   “I can’t run this and treat his injuries at the same time,” Doc’s voice called to him as soon as he was in view.
   “I have it from here, Doc,” he replied, running towards and hurdling over the pair in the narrow corridor. He made the last meter or so to the panel and quickly resumed where Doc had left off. “How bad is he?”
   “I can’t do much for him here,” Doc said solemnly. “He’ll need to be transported to Cerberus as soon as possible, and transferred to a hospital facility soon after. All I can do is alleviate the pain, and hope he doesn’t die.”
   “We’ll get him home, Doc. We’ve lost to many already, no more.” He turned his attention fully to the panel and tricorder, and deftly rerouted controls to the bridge. McDougal opened his communicator and called for the bridge. Before there was a response, he could hear the huge weapon begin to power up. “Can he be moved?” he asked, closing the device down.
   “You act as if I am a dead man,” O’Kelly replied through gritted teeth. “I just might need a little help is all,” the security chief finished with a wet cough.
   “Then let’s get back to the bridge.”

   T’Sala clenched her jaw and willed her hands to move faster. Restoring the power relay had restored the shields, but not soon enough for one of the attacker’s shots to impact onto bare hull, temporarily shorting out the force field emitters. Precious seconds ticked by as she began to slowly reclaim the state of the invisible fields that protected her XO. “Engineering to Commander Jones,” she called as the force fields finally coalesced around the hull breach. “Commander Jones, please respond.” Silence was her only reply.
   Quickly, she shifted her focus to the task at hand. She used her skills to route every erg that she could through the device, forcing the sensors and targeting systems back to full operating capacity. T’Sala continued her evasive piloting, and turned Cerberus onto her back, heading straight for her attacker. Another energy weapon found home, this time the forward shield taking the full impact of the weapon’s furry as the two ships passed each other in the inky black of space.
   A small blip appeared on her targeting screen, labeled simply as “S1”, right behind Cerberus. Six of the eight phasers the ship wielded were in arc, and with a simple button push, two went into defensive mode. There was just enough of a lock on to the target, and the two defensive phasers fired; a total of eight successive shots found their way to the enemy ship, each shot impacted its forward hull. Nothing was noticed to have happened. The tiny shuttle-sized craft should have exploded in a shower of debris and flames, but remained, continuing to fire at Cerberus.T’Sala perked her left brow in astonishment. Though the ship was no larger than one of Starfleet’s own larger shuttles, it certainly held up well under fire. She was uncertain whether the attacker had extensive armor or some other device to absorb the energy sent to destroy it.
   T’Sala dropped the erratic maneuvers and managed fire the four overloaded phasers in arc, their hull blistering energy zipping backwards into the dark assailant. Finally, a small explosion as the last of the four found its way through whatever was holding the energies back. The blip slowed momentarily, and on her tactical screen, fully materialized into more than the “this is what I think it is” that the computer was reading.
   On her tactical readout she could see that she had closed in with the Romulan  vessel, and the enemy was still firing its weapons. Cerberus shook under the assault, each of the weapons finding their mark and being absorbed by the aft shields. T’Sala made a hard turn to port, keeping the Romulan vessel aft and opening the gap between them. “Cerberus to Commander McDougal, come in please,” she said after opening a channel. “Commander McDougal, respond.”
   “Lieutenant Perkins here,” the young tactical officer’s voice filled the engine room speakers. “We don’t know how this is going to pan out, but we need you to stay closer to us. The vessel has dropped enough stealth for us to maintain a solid lock-on. CO’s ordered you to hold your fire but keep them moving and in our forward arc.
   T’Sala read her sensors again, this time displaying a more in depth read out of the tiny ship. “Our sensors are showing this vessel to have similar characteristics to Andromedan vessels,” she reported over the line. “It seems to have both shield generators and power absorbing panels.” Cerberus rocked again, this time as her port shields absorbed the blows.
   “That information is not in the data banks on this old cow,” McDougal’s voice called back. “But at least we have a better picture now. Just keep them following you for another minute or so, we got a surprise baking for them.
   “Acknowledged.” T’Sala’s panel beeped a frantic warning as more shots from the attacker were fired, this time at the Romulan cruiser. The shots were absorbed by the cruiser’s shields, and the smaller vessel turned as if to flee, having now seen with its sensors what the two ships had in store for it. “Locking on tractor beam,” T’Sala reported, and in a flash a beam of energy leapt forth to grab the fleeing ship. The Vulcan quickly jammed her ship into reverse, and started to rotate her captive to the forward arc. Cerberus’s hull whined and shuddered under the strain, but held fast under the sudden shift of momentum. With a long sweeping turn, Cerberus positioned herself facing the cruiser with her prey in between them. “Torpedoes armed, phasers recycled, diverting all power from movement into the tractor and shield one.” T’Sala’s voice sounded calm as an autumn breeze over a whispering brook.
   “Firing plasma!” Perkins shouted over the line, his tone a sharp contrast to T’Sala’s. A moment of brief static filled the line as the cruiser released a fresh baked, extra hot ball of plasma towards the attacker. Cerberus released the tractor hold and began to back slowly away as the deadly plasma neared. Two missiles spat out from the frig-naught, and impacted simultaneously with the plasma. This release of destructive energy ripped through the tiny vessel, sending small parts of it away freely into space, yet as a whole, the thing remained.
   T’Sala didn’t hesitate, and Cerberus let loose every pent up electron from her phaser banks and expelled the three held photons. The phaser fire destroyed the vessel, and the three red orbs danced into the blast and exploded harmlessly, but creating a brilliant display of destruction.
   “Romulan vessel,” a deep humanoid voice called over the com lines, “You have violated Federation space and attacked one of our vessels, stand down and prepare to be boarded.

   “This is Commander Shawn McDougal, captain of the starship Cerberus, currently in command of said Romulan vessel.” McDougal made a note that everyone on the bridge somehow found humor in the situation, even O’Kelly, who fought hard to not laugh. “To whom am I speaking?”
   “This is Captain Smyth of the  Survey Cruiser Galileo. Sorry to spook you Commander, we detected weapons fire on our long range scanners and found you here. We’re standing down now.
   “Very well, sir. Both of these vessels have received damage, and we have wounded. Can you assist?”
   “We’ll be in range in two minutes.
   “Sirs,” T’Sala interrupted. “Cerberus lost several power relays in that last exchange. I am unable to maintain life support or warp power for movement.
   “Copy that, Cerberus,” the man’s gruff voice replied. We’ll make you our priority, hope you don’t mind, Commander.
   “Not at all, just make sure you get everyone, bodies included. We also have a high priority patient here.” Doc nodded to him in relief, as if the commanding officer had forgotten. Out the observation porthole, the small crew watched as the survey cruiser dropped from high warp near the Cerberus and continued its approach at impulse speeds.
Czar "I ain't done yet" Mohab, who notes that this is now on the endward side of half way

Will O'Kelly and McCloud survive? What about Miss Jones? Stay tuned for another installment of Second Chances!
« Last Edit: September 08, 2007, 10:11:44 am by Czar Mohab »
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what they teach you in the Army? Take a leak and wash your hands?
PFC: Yeah. It helps prevent the spread of...
ME: Let me stop you right there. Ya see, The NAVY taught me how not to wizz on my hands. You have a good day now, Private. *Pats PFC on shoulder*

Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 316
  • Ltjg...? When'd that happen? Was I even awake?
Re: Second Chances
« Reply #44 on: September 03, 2007, 02:54:21 am »
Somehow I forgot that this was a LONG weekend, being at work and all... but, just to let you all know, the next section is being edited for 'realism' and flow. Well, the next section after this one that is.

   McDougal was quiet as he rifled through the personal belongings of Lieutenant Commander Selma Jean Jones. It was a hard process, mostly because he didn’t know her well enough to know what to keep, what to toss and what to send home to her family. He’d given up sorting for the three long ago and just started to pack out everything. Her quarters were a mirror to his, with the exception that hers were immaculate while his had remained somewhat disheveled before the universe tried to stomp on him yet again.
   Thirteen crew members had perished that day, two weeks ago now. Cerberus managed to crawl under her own power into one of the massive repair bays at Starbase Hyperion, with much thanks to Captain Smyth and his crew. In honor of the dead, the small crew that piloted the crippled frigate lit every one of her lightable lights, a beacon to guide her lost children home. The wounded, totaling sixty-five, had been transferred to the station and most had recovered fully; but at present, McDougal was sans engineer, security officer, and a handful of not-so-critical positions.
   “Shawn?” a familiar voice called from behind him, sending a chill down his spine.
   “Over here, Admiral,” he replied, half heartedly. Yesterday he’d watched as Baker’s vessel arrived in the sector. He had dreaded this moment since, and hoped that Baker would catch up with him.
   Baker walked in from McDougal’s side of the shared head,  and sighed as he passed into Jones’ quarters. “I didn’t expect to find you,” he started bluntly, “especially after that stunt you pulled at New Alexandria.”
   Here comes the butt chewing, he thought. McDougal stopped packing momentarily and straightened his back. He sighed, “Permission to speak candidly, sir?”
   “You’re going to say that you hate me, my style, and possibly my great aunt Thelma for not dropping me on my head more as a small boy, right?” Baker smiled slightly.  “I get that a lot, son, so don’t you worry, I won’t take offense,” he raised a thin finger as if to guide his next words home, “but Aunty Thelma did have a killer gumbo recipe…”
   McDougal squared his shoulders and turned to face the man. Anger at being mocked held at bay for the moment, he simply said, “Permission to speak candidly, sir?”
   Baker waved his right hand at him, a gesture that mimicked his words, “Whatever you need to say, go ahead.”
   McDougal produced a communicator from his belt and operated one of the tiny dials, setting it to ‘record’. “You don’t mind repeating that do you sir, for the record?”
   “I don’t know what game you are playing at here… Yes, you have permission to speak freely.”
   “Good,” he said calmly, hoping to hold all the pent up anger he had just a moment longer. He set the device down on top of Jones’ bed and turned silently to gaze out the small window afforded to these quarters. The view was spectacular, despite being framed in such a small way. He looked out over the forward hull, the ship’s glistening grey-white hull reflecting much of the work lights positioned about in Hyperion’s major repair bay. Work bees and shuttle craft of all types darted around the busy complex, but his gaze fixed and held fast on two vessels that were docked near to Cerberus.
   It was Operation Unity at work, peace through the cooperation of war, for the two vessels ahead were Kzinti and Klingon. Days ago he’d met with both captains in the stations main bar, and was shocked when they laughed, joked and even held conversations with others of the normally warring species. It was an odd philosophy to him, but the Klingon explained to him simply, “Tomorrow we may fight again as enemies, but today, here, we meet as friends.” McDougal had taken part in the festivities, and managed to milk some important information from the Klingon.
   “Do you know how many died on this little excursion of yours?” he asked the admiral coldly.
   “Thirteen, if memory serves.”
   “Thirteen of my men and women died because of you, Admiral.”
   “I hardly think that…”
   “I’m not finished!” This was the first he’d raised his voice to the short man. He turned abruptly to face him, scowled down into his eyes and held up a threatening right index finger. “Because you,” he poked the admiral in the chest, “had a gripe with me about destroying that enemy vessel.” He paused and let the anger flow from him. “Do you recognize that vessel out there?” he almost yelled the words and pointed to the viewport. The admiral paused a moment and McDougal shouted, “Look!” He resisted the urge to ‘persuade’ the admiral, and allowed the man a brief moment before restating his demand. He moved aside to allow the admiral access to the window.
   Hesitantly, Baker complied and looked out the small viewport. “I don’t recognize either of them,” he said calmly. “And I have half a mind to put you on report!” Baker calmly turned around.
   “Negative, Admiral. You know which ship that is! It’s the Decimator, the same ship that dropped off the ambassador to us! The very same ship that left New Alexandria a full hour before we departed, Admiral, and the same ship that arrived three full days before we were scheduled to arrive.”
   “Maybe it is,” Baker replied. “What of it?”
   “You told me that Cerberus was the fastest available.” McDougal again poked at the admiral, this time, though,  he was standing out of reach.  “You told me that the Klingon vessel was not granted passage through Federation space! Yet there he is, right before us. Had the Klingons taken the ambassador as planned, they could have decoded his message faster than we could have, and saved a lot of lives.”
   “You’re making a big mistake, here,” Baker said threateningly.
   “No, I’m not.” McDougal retrieved his communicator and keyed it to an open channel. “Security to the XO’s quarters. Medical team to the XO’s quarters.” He didn’t have time to restore the device to its resting place as Baker made a mad dash for the exit. Cerberus was mostly unmanned, and of those on board, most would likely be yard workers, there to begin much needed repairs. McDougal hoped that the security detail and medical staff that he’d persuaded on board hadn’t left yet. Without further hesitation, he started up to a run and sped after the now escaping admiral.
   Baker ran through the corridor with speed and agility that was uncommon for a man of his age. But that was where McDougal held an advantage, as the younger quickly closed the gap. Through the empty corridors they ran, until Baker finally turned to stop, panting. McDougal was still a bit behind, and didn’t have time to prepare for the phaser beam that struck out at him. Set to kill he mused as he dove to the floor. “That’s not very Starfleet of you, Admiral!” he taunted. He managed to jump back in time as another beam of death shot at him. He smiled lightly at the scorch in the carpet where he once was.
   “You will never understand!” Baker shouted as he fired again. The shot went way off the mark as he was turning to flee again. His escape was cut short as two phaser beams found his torso. “The Masters will prevail!” he shouted as he slumped to the deck, not fully stunned.
   McDougal motioned to the two security guards to hold their fire as he approached the crumpled form. He kicked the admiral’s weapon from his hand and gazed down at him. “Med team here!” someone shouted from behind Cerberus’ CO. McDougal’s view clouded over with red from anger and narrowed to a small tunnel. Baker tried to stand, but McDougal felled him with a swift and forceful kick to the jaw. The anger passed almost wholly as he heard a satisfying crunch from Baker’s face.
   “Doc,” he said shakily as the adrenalin rush began to flee his body. “There’s the patient.”

Czar "Ain't I a stinker?" Mohab, who is open to ANY comments (you too, lurkers ;)), including guesses *HINT HINT* as to who is of the 13 dead (hint: at least 10 have no name ;))

P.S. If you don't wanna guess now thats fine, but I'd still like to know later if I killed your guess or not :D
Logged

In a movie theater bathroom not long ago:
PFC: You really should wash your hands, sir.
ME: So... Private? Is that what