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[Scottish Andy]

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Ch 5:

Up close, her immense size and girth made her seen a colossal beast of extreme proportion. Which, she was… But at a distance of six kilometers or so, such as he now saw her through the unassisted pod view port, the Excelsior-Class starship was a sleek, streamlined beauty that put one in the mind of some aerodynamic work of art.

I agree with this completely. And if you're painting her pure silver with highlights... oooo.

Ford's reaction to Keller's "explanation" is totally believable, and her explanation is suitably contradictory - female - and annoying for all that. Though I don't think I ever heard anyone back home saying "shan't" - but then it's not something that would be particularly memorable anyway.
I approve of her leaving for the good of the crew dynamic. It would be bloody hard me me (as Chevy) to continue to see her, and depending on the level of how much she does still care for him, it may even be more so for her to continue to see him.

“Yeah. Without the Commodore to pad my fitness review, I decided I’d better whip my happy ass back into shape. Been running and hittin’ the weights.”

Good one.   Looks like Ben's shaping up well. I like the continuations of the threads from the previous stories, with Surall still wanting off.

Ch 6:
The 31 scene was nice, and it's not terribly surprising to find Ford was once part of or used by them. Your wresting back of Tor was... unclear. I'm going by Larry's description of Tor to assume you mean he, not Jark, is the fat Orion slave girl pimp. Making Jark the head of the... "Thirsting Daggers", is it? doesn't strike me as great revenge on the Larster. 

Counter-review:

Rain check: Actually...I hate baseball.

Heh. I'm not that bothered about it, but it's still way more entertaining and interesting than "American Football". *grumbles about a waste of 3 hours to see a 1 hour game* 

Daniel Nechayev does not actually have a brother.

  How very Chekov of him. I guess it's just a motivational technique, but John's gonna knock Dan on his arse for that one when he finds out, for sure.

Yup, names are the province of the writers. I just try to get authentic ones from the region I want them to come from.

But also note that I really don't care.

I'm going to go all Liberal on your arse and say this offends me. 
I could say the weigh ewe right is lazy, and reading the wrong word detracts from my enjoyment of the story, but the simple facts outway this. Ewe punch out grate stories with interesting, reel characters with complex lives and conundrums, and ewe do so with grate frequency. Ewe don't let the niggling details slow ewe down.
Where as eye am all about the 'getting it spot on technically', and as such torture myself over getting it write before putting it out they're. I bearly manage one story a year.
Eye'm glad two perform this duty four ewe, even if ewe never wish to publish professionally. It gives me peace and joy. If ewe don't care, it bothers me. That ewe're willing too take on board my editing and thank me four it, pleases me grately.
Don't let my nitpicking slow ewe down. Keep punching out ewe're stories.   

While some of our 'now' music might be known and appreiciated in the future, most of it will be simply ignorant sounding and possibly laughable to those in the future, perhaps just offensive, much as music from our past is today for us.

Agreed.

And as to Akyazi's and their 'shuttlebays'. I didn't imply at any time as to there being such on the Tenseiga.

Sorry, I must have missed it. It sounded to me like the Sanchez was a large shuttle - you called him a "heavy" - and that the Starbase people weren't supposed to see it as part of the Tenseiga's equipment when she left, the shuttle being on a covert mission. It didn't matter to me if the Ya'Weenies seen it or not, and besides, the Tenseiga wasn't going in herself, and they weren't scanning Fed space all that heavily. I'll have a quick re-read of that to pick up your point.

That said, this was a nice bridge between stories. As a stand-alone, it's uninformative and not much happens. It could be taken as a chapter or segment of another story. But since we know you're pumping them all out as a continuing series, it's a nice little bit to let us and the characters catch a breath before the Next Big Thing.

Looking forward to your #13.

Edit:
After the re-read, I found another thing. This is what "recognizance" means:

1 a : an obligation of record entered into before a court or magistrate requiring the performance of an act (as appearance in court) usually under penalty of a money forfeiture <released on his own recognizance> b : the sum liable to forfeiture upon such an obligation
2 archaic : TOKEN, PLEDGE

I think the Sanchez is meant to be a "Type R medium range reconnaissance craft".
You also say he's "large shuttlecraft" and "a wide craft". With limited interstellar capability, "massive thruster quads" and "heavy impulse drivers", as well as nacelles that have Bussard collectors, I kinda got the impression he's a big boy. 

[Governor Ronjar]

I shall continue this as a very slow IM and respond as we have established...

Ford and Keller's conversation threw me in oh so many ways. It was one of the scenes that was hardest. I was worried about whether it would fly as believable, not too soap opera-y, too adolescent, etc... The more I edited, the less interesting it became and her responses and reasoning...less female. I've had similar conversations with a certain female in the past, though not about life and death, and know first hand that the feminine side cannot make that much sense to a man if it is to be accurate. The true test for that particular scene would be a female reading it and agreeing with Keller's side. I don't give it that much credability, tho...

Ben Thomas is indeed fitting into his role as a starship commander. However, it leaves me in a fix for what to do with said character without writing Tenseiga based stories all the time. I may, but as yet do not want to create that many characters. Maybe once I've had my fill of Endeavour's crew, I'll do a Tenseiga series.

My 'revenge' with Tor was more something La'ra would and does understand. Tor was my creation from the stories that got Larry into writing La'ra stories to begin with. He posted those long before I HAD a computer, and therefor, you are familiar with big, fat stupidly evil Tor. It irked me greatly to see him used thus, as I had and still have great ideas for Tor as a old warrior who had lost his way and and must meander back toward the honorable path. La'ra took all of his falacies from the one story he'd read using Tor and...made him truely disgusting. His reason for thus was 'to get Tor out of the way so he could introduce Brigadier Jark'. But...La'ra has really done nothing more than hint at Jark. Therefor my 'revenge', twinking as it is, was to introduce Jark as a fat, Orion lusting piece of crap much like the treatment rendered to Tor years ago. This really does nothing to change things, as our stories occur in different trek 'universes' where Jark and Tor have become transposed and Ron'jar's name is misspelled with an 'a'.  This is little more significant than me flipping our shared friend the finger from a mountain top in the range of cyber space.

Just so long as my intended target liked it...

And if any incarnation of Sharp shows up in a La'ra story as being fat or whatever...it'll really be on...

 While I figure you did understand what I meant, I was not just saying the spellings of names are the perview of only writers. But of real life people as well. Those different spelling of Gwinn all exist in or around this county here in Arkansas.

Saying that baseball is more interesting than football in my house will get you shot. Be thinking of this if you ever do come to visit...

Your...creative spellings during the grammar tirade: I hadn't laughed THAT hard all damn day, man...And Larry was here today visiting, so that says something! What I do not care about is the deficientcy of my spelling, not that you care to help me with it. Just to clarify.

My spellings of the long form of recon... well, that was one me and my f*cking spellchecker went round and round over. I'm not sure if it HAS the right spelling of the word in it, so, I settled on the one it gave me... Didn't think it looked right...but then, well, you've seen my spelling...who am I to argue with the computer? I use Word '97...which is...twitchy. But it was a freebie.

Yes, the Sanchez is a heavy shuttle. Much as the shuttle in the tech manual of the Akyazi is also a heavy. This one has neater stuff on it. Think of a slightly larger version of a cargo shuttle. As far as the station personnel 'not seeing it', Ford didn't care whether they did or not. As much as goes on at a typical starbase in my universe... Who the hell's gonna really notice an Akyazi carrying a shuttle anyway? Ford didn't place much classification on the recon mission anyway. Better to avoid more trouble with the fleet (IF they took exception to his ordering the mish...) by NOT trying to hide it. He was only concerned with the Ya'wenn finding out, which wasn't too likely.

To this part specifically: "You also say he's "large shuttlecraft" and "a wide craft". With limited interstellar capability, "massive thruster quads" and "heavy impulse drivers", as well as nacelles that have Bussard collectors, I kinda got the impression he's a big boy."

Yup. Big boy. My mind's-eye thoughts of him have his nacelles and winglets nearly so wide that they almost don't fit between an Akyazi's pylons. But they are slanted downwards, and therfor do fit. The Sanchez would be complicated enough that set designers would not be financially able to make a full scale mock-up of him. They'd have to use mostly CGI, much like with VOY's Delta Flyer [which I note, also had Bussard collectors].

I can see how this story can be discribed as 'uninformative'. To tell the truth, it was going to be just the first half of the next story, and I was halfway done with what is now #13 when I decided there was enough difference between the two portions that I could split them up. Otherwise it was going to be what I felt was too long of a story when compared to my previous episodes. Therfor I decided on a two-parter. Since the two are so different, I gave them seperate names as well, rather than Whatever Parts 1 and 2.

I'm enjoying the banter on this one. Thank you!

--thu guv!