Topic: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.  (Read 16310 times)

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Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #40 on: November 23, 2007, 06:31:23 am »
   Cerberus swung wide to port from her previous course, clearing the cloud of strike craft and closing on the rest of the fleet. Phasers, now released from their underpowered mode, struck out in full force, cutting deep into cruisers and frigates alike. The sudden change in posture forced the assault fleet to regroup and reorganize, allowing the warship a clear path to the nearest of the six battleships. One overloaded torpedo shot free and trailed downward into the larger craft. The ensuing explosion ripped the ship clean in half, but most importantly took down one of the devices keeping them from freedom.

   Cerberus shook under retaliatory fire from the big ship’s five sisters, damaging the shields but not deterring her from her main objective. Phasers cut neatly into the next ship, disabling it and sending its burning hull tumbling. Two more torpedoes found their mark, taking down one ship each.

   “We are being hailed!” Perkins shouted.

   “Reading weapons powering down across the fleet,” T’Sala remarked.

   Cowards McDougal thought to himself. Don’t want to play anymore, eh? “Mister Perkins, what have you got for me?”

   “Patching it through the translator now, should be somewhat clear.”

   “H’Starin allied vessel. You have shown your g’tallint and we humbly ask for your terms of j’takka.”

   “This is Commander Shawn McDougal of the Federation Starship Cerberus. We accept your surrender under the condition that you explain why you snared and attacked our ship.” McDougal eyed Perkins for confirmation that the signal went through. With each transmission outside of battle chatter, the universal translator would have an increased probability of unlocking the new language.

   “Cerberus, you are not allied with H’Starin?”

   “Never heard of them.”

   Moments passed in silence as the remainder of the fleet regrouped around Cerberus. Finally, the silence was broken as the computer enhanced voice filled the bridge. “We are to destroy all H’Starin. You are not those we seek. You are not allied with those we seek. We beg forgiveness, and now we continue our search.

   The line cracked as it closed, leaving the crew of Cerberus perplexed as they watched the fleet jump to warp, leaving behind the hulks of defeated ships. McDougal grew angry, but let loose a deep and good laugh. “Lets wrap this up,” he said when the chuckles subsided. “Contact Starfleet and request they dispatch a dedicated survey crew and salvage operation, we’ll stay on station until they arrive.”


   Captain’s personal log, stardate 11629.58:

   We’ve finally made it to Trellious. The crew is looking forward to exploring this system to the fullest extent. Preliminary scans indicate that there are two class M planets in this system, and both harbor sentient life forms. We’ll be beginning our in depth scan later this afternoon, starting with the outermost planet and moving inward. It still amazes me that there is other life out here in the cold depths of space. Hopefully, our discoveries here will be less hostile than those we made six weeks ago.

   Starfleet finally signaled early this morning regarding our incident with the battle fleet. They thoroughly examined everything that they had available and determined that the race that attacked us was called the Tallia. They were nomadic until their encounter with the H’Starin. Command tells me that the two races warred until the Tallia finally routed the H’Starin, conquering their home world. This battle fleet was sent out to destroy any H’Starin remnants; however, research indicates that the H’Starin were finally destroyed by the Lyran Empire, of all peoples. The Tallia fleet encountered a Klingon task force last week and attempted the same with them that they did with us. The Tallia were utterly defeated, with no Klingon losses. Command hypothesizes that the Tallia home world is somewhere towards the galactic fringe near Federation held space. How they made it so far into our territory is beyond me.

   I had another dream with Par last night. This time, he showed me their empire when it was at the height of its galactic dominance. It had been almost two weeks since the last dream, I hope that the distance between us is a factor; I really don’t like how he gets in my head.

   Miss Jones has been acting strangely lately. She seems as if she’s romantically interested in a member of the crew; she keeps dropping hints that lead me to this conclusion, but I have not a clue as to who or why. I’ll admit that part of me is interested in romantic involvement with her, but I don’t want such a relationship to jeopardize our current CO/XO relationship, nor would I want the crew to think I’m giving her special treatment. Sometimes, being the man in charge has disadvantages.

   Lieutenant Merten finally qualified as bridge watch officer last night. I have a feeling that he’s just under-confident in himself, and so long as the crew keeps that in mind when dealing with him, he’ll eventually come out of his shell. I’ll be watching him.

   Oscar hasn’t been out and about lately, I think that he has become bored with shipboard routines. Or that the crew’s morale no longer needs his special bolstering. I’ll have to find something suitable to keep him entertained.

   This has been a long trail to Trellious, filled with mystery, danger, and silly little things that might make a lesser crew insane with rage. All in all, I think we’ve faired well, and we all look forward to shaking the dust off our explorative selves and finding out what is out here.

   “End recording,” McDougal sighed.

   “Merfl?” Oscar pestered him.

   McDougal walked to his quarters’ food replication unit and spoke, “Feline supplement twenty two.” A click and a whirr produced a small dish of cat food, salmon and rice flavored with gravy. He set the dish down.

   “Merrl!” Oscar prodded. He’d forgotten his own breakfast again.

Czar "and thus endeth the trail" Mohab
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #41 on: November 23, 2007, 10:12:58 am »
I'll give this whole thing a good read when I get home tonight, and give you a big ol' Larry review.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #42 on: November 23, 2007, 08:00:59 pm »
The encounter with the slien fleet remminded me of something one would roll up on a D&D random encounters chart.

Roll percentile. 45%= Encounter marauding, low tech fleet of warships bent on finding remnants of enemy star empire. 01-55% chance of aliens mistaking your ship for the enemy.

All in all, a well written story, though a bit random. Really, it seems more like two vignettes latched together. I enjoyed both, the second being my favorite. You sig hints that this was 'the end of the trail?' This makes me believe said story is at an end. Correct me if wrong.

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #43 on: November 23, 2007, 10:53:09 pm »
Quote
Really, it seems more like two vignettes latched together

Kind of was. Wanted to do something for Halloween that could be carried forward into the future, in this case, something mysterious to all, except me; and there is more to the Tallia/H'Starin than what I wrote so far, which should neatly tie the two halves into a more cohesive whole. Which leads me to:
Quote
You sig hints that this was 'the end of the trail?' This makes me believe said story is at an end. Correct me if wrong.
Yes, it is the end of The Long Dusty Trail, but not the series. I don't have a title yet for the upcoming chapter. At least not one title.

Czar "Thanks for the input/support so far." Mohab, who appologizes for making it take so bloody long to finish up.



[/color]
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #44 on: November 24, 2007, 02:51:06 am »
Overall, both stories are quite enjoyable.  I tried to read them as a single tale at first, but then sort of skipped down to the comments section, saw the Guv's comment.  Taking them as two seperate, if connected in as-yet-unseen ways, stories improved both.

It's a bit late for a giant review, so I'll have to give you a rain check on that one, but I do wanna mention a couple of moments I liked.  I was very fond of the sequence where the Captain promotes the doctor to the rank of his choice.  Not sure why, but it struck a nice chord.  One thing I'm consistently impressed with is the 'formally informal' type of address sometimes used by the crew...the way the Captain announced Oscar as the newest member of the crew.  Captures well the way many military and ex-military types act.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #45 on: December 13, 2008, 11:45:34 am »
I second that last bit, La'ra. I've had lots of friends and relatives in the military and from their stories, this just had the right feel to it.
CaptJosh

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those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Second Chances II: The Long, Dusty Trail.
« Reply #46 on: March 01, 2011, 09:26:52 pm »
I would HIGHLY recomend any fans of this series to reread this. You'll understand why soon enough.

Czar Mohab
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