ROFLMFAO a friend sent this to me it's priceless and very likely true
LITERARY ASSIGNMENT
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women
Are From "Venus" offered by an English professor from
the University of Colorado for an actual class
assignment:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will
experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with
the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
homework tonight, one of you will write the first
paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your
partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another paragraph to the story and send it back, also
sendinganother copy to me. The first peron will then
add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
anything you wish to say must be written in the
e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his
English students:
Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
of the question.
(second paragraph! by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of
an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere
and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one last pang of regret for
psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes LawPermanently Abolishing
War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all
the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose
one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium
fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who
pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty
through the congress had left Earth a defenseless
target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours
after the passage of the treaty the Anudian ships were
on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them,
they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air
headed bimbo who reads too many DanielleSteele
novels!"
(Rebecca) As*h@le.
(Gary) B*tch!
(Rebecca) F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
(Gary) In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one
Topic: men are from mars,women are from venus (Read 2342 times)