Topic: Lunatic Fringe  (Read 14757 times)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Lunatic Fringe
« on: September 26, 2006, 01:32:29 pm »
Took a while to get this one posted, for I needed to edit it for content  If anyone here remembers 'The Grim Necessities' (a story of mine, not Grim Reaper's shopping list ;D), the protagonist here was a nuisance-style supporting character in that one.

Oddly, she turned out to be one of my more compelling creations and this tale is a result.  It has little physical action, and it's largely a character development/internal type story, which is a first for me, I think.

Note that Andy has promised to post the uneditted version (largely the same save for the opening scene, which is much more risque) on his website eventually.  Once he does that, I'd love some input on which opening is better.  Also, for those who'd like a refresher, the story Almondine originally appeared in is here.


--------


Lunatic Fringe



Three days of decadence hadn’t put an end to my malaise. 

At first I’d blamed the environment. There are few places more dreadfully prudish than a Federation-flagged ‘pleasure’ liner. Still, I’d managed to find willing partners.  One was even a Marlovian, renowned throughout the galaxy for both energetic wrestling and fierce copulation.  I’d saved her for the third night and can now attest that their reputations are quite accurate.  It wasn’t enough.

“Argent.” I said. “I’m bored.”

My dearest love, my own brother, turned from admiring his own body in the mirror and gave me quite a look.

“After her?” He said, indicating the Marlovian, who’d worked herself to exhaustion and now lay sprawled across the width of the bed.

I glanced at my sleeping playmate and sighed.

“Yes.”  I said.  Absently, I stretched out my arm and stroked the Marlovian’s blue skin.

Argent gave me his concerned face.  He sat down on the bed.  He didn’t say anything.  I looked at his sleek form, which had always excited me before.

“I can’t feel anything.”  I said to brother dear.

“You’ve had a stressful time, my ‘Dina.” He comforted, using his pet name for me.  I knew the next strategy he would employ.  Quite honestly I had faked many a bout of depression for the way he would treat me when I was in ill humor.  “I did record the performance.”

Even in my sorry state, I felt a twinge of excitement.  There are things you miss when participating in a good romp, thus my fondness for holos and videos and such.  My eagerness should’ve been a flood.

It was more like a trickle.  I frowned.

“Thank you.” I said.  “But not right now.” 

I merely wanted to save the holo for when I could properly enjoy it.  Watching myself being dominated by the Marlovian would be a priceless treat.  I don’t think Argent understood my motive, for he frowned.

“It’s him again, isn’t it?”  Argent asked.  I looked at him earnestly.

He was, of course, referring to my most terrible failure.  Seven feet of Klingon that I knew wanted me, yet would not feast.

I had had failures before him.  As alluring as I am, there are all manner of tastes, and there are also beings too prudish to appreciate what I offer them.  But there had been the illusion that if I had truly applied myself, no one could say no.  I had truly applied myself with Commander La’ra.  He had held my brother’s life in his hands, and I’d known that I could barter my body for Argent’s safety.  The thought had naturally aroused me.  But he’d refused me.

At first I had been livid that he couldn’t fathom what I would give him.  I’d also been terrified for Argent; I had believed that the Klingon would be the death of him...and me.  We’d survived, which amazed us.  The man the Klingon had saved us from had been a Mirak and not a creature I’d thought could be overcome. 

Argent had come to fear the Klingon as he’d feared the Mirak before.  One had simply replaced the other.  I had different feelings. 

“It hasn’t been him, my love.”  I answered honestly.  That made my brother frown.  He could understand that I might be lamenting my failure.

He was partially correct. I wanted Commander La’ra quite badly, but Argent’s jealousy, while delectable, was misplaced.  I wanted many people I hadn’t yet had.

I doubted that he could understand what I was truly feeling even if I could’ve conveyed my emotions with words.  I’d been quite determined to save Argent when I’d approached the Klingon.  My determination had awoken something within me but the phantom inside had vanished soon after.  I wanted it back.

I smiled at my brother.

“I need fresh air. I’ll feel less ghastly when we get to a world I can stroll around in.” I said, and knew I was lying.  I do not like lying to Argent but not doing so would worry him.

He stroked my hair.  I was still stroking the Marlovian, who was showing signs of life.  I pulled my hand away and rose from the bed.

“Enjoy her, darling.”  I told Argent.  “I need to take a walk.”

His eyes lit.  By the time I was dressed he was being used terribly.  I was happy for him, yet I did not feel like watching.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2006, 01:43:46 pm by Commander La'ra »
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2006, 10:27:06 pm »
Them...

You know how I feel about them...

Though this one struck me better than the first tale. They just annoyed me the first time.

I liked this.

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2006, 12:26:16 am »
Personally, I'm merely confused by it. Good writing, but what the devil is actually going on, ya know? It is intriguing, though. It's not a "I don't get this I'm not reading it any further." It's more, "ok, what the hell. Where's the rest of this so I can figure it out?"


BTW, once I get a copy of Star Trek: The Motionless Picture, I'll have a new chapter of When the Going Gets Tough... up. (I can't believe I'm getting this movie. But I need the power up and departure sequence of the Enterprise to give me the imagery to get the Howard Hughes' departure sequence right.)
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2006, 01:12:36 am »
Personally, I'm merely confused by it. Good writing, but what the devil is actually going on, ya know? It is intriguing, though. It's not a "I don't get this I'm not reading it any further." It's more, "ok, what the hell. Where's the rest of this so I can figure it out?"

I think that's a good sign, since that's kinda what 'Dina's going through and I was trying to convey that.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2006, 02:24:39 am »
You what is bugging me? That I still don't know what is bugging her!
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2006, 11:28:45 am »
Hey Larry,

Sorry about the late response, but something came up. Now, though, I can devote some time to it.

This is quite toned down, so congrats for doing that and still keeping the essence of the tale. Personally, I love these characters, but I think that just says more about me than I should be happy revealing... lol. I guess its the "bad guy" attraction that actors feel. You get a kick out of being so deliciously twisted, knowing its wrong and doing it for the sheer pleasure of being bad.

With just the story to go on, I had to agree with the Guv. I still wasn't quite sure what's bugging 'Dina, and I know a whole lot more about the "Dynamic Duo". With your comment to Guv, though, I think I get the point:

La'ra awakened something completely new to her, and that excited the hell out of her. To someone who is totally, slavishly devoted to hedonistic experiences and feelings this is manna.

So, not knowing what that feeling was--and thus, more importantly, being unable to recapture it--makes everything else pale in comparison. She's just moved from "E" to heroin, been jacked up to a whole new level, and going back to "E" is tolerable but she needs that heroin hit again to feel truly alive.

So Larry, this should be my review on your writing. If I am spot on, then you succeded 100% in what you were trying to convey, with lesser gradations for stuff I missed or misunderstood.
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2006, 02:46:41 pm »
If I am spot on, then you succeded 100% in what you were trying to convey, with lesser gradations for stuff I missed or misunderstood.

Bullseye, Andy.  I wouldn't give La'ra the credit though.  All he did was be his stubborn self.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2006, 11:17:28 pm »
Odd... all them there comments about E and heroin...

Something I don't know 'bout you, Andy?

 ;)

Good start of a tale, none-the-less, La'ra. I read it, didn't puke, and want more. That's saying something given who the story is about...

All in fun
--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2006, 03:31:34 am »
Quote
If anyone here remembers 'The Grim Necessities' (a story of mine, not Grim Reaper's shopping list Grin),

btw: LMAO
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2006, 07:54:48 am »
Guv:  ;D


Or rather, I don't need drugs to get high.  ;)
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

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The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2006, 11:33:14 am »
Or rather, I don't need drugs to get high.  ;)

He's from Scotland, after all.  It's all about the whiskey over there...
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #11 on: September 28, 2006, 03:55:49 pm »
<Scotty> Hey, dinnae ye be confusin' a good scotch with mere whiskey, lad! </Scotty>

(Side note, turns out I need Star Trek II, not TMP. So it'll still be a while til I post the next chapter. The departure sequence in TMP is the wrong one.)
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #12 on: September 28, 2006, 05:44:30 pm »
Yes...gotta watch them do the quicky launch with the file footage from the first movie to set the mood. :)

TMP was rather slow moving... Movies must keep...well...moving...to grap one's attention. STII got it right. III was ok. It's my favorite of them, but I will admit they could have down a better job with it. IV had no combat, but at least it kept MOVING. V doesn't exist. Neither does Nemisis. Not in my happy land, anyway...

IMHO, the two best done movies were VI and Insurrection. My only snipe about VI is the fact that the Romulan ambassador took part in the 'Operation Reprieve' briefing to spring Kirk and McCoy. Great secrecy in that office...

My do I digress...

More story Larry!

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2006, 10:19:37 am »
And here comes Part Two...

------------------------

“Do you think I’m being silly?” I asked my server. He was a round, balding man who had the face of a mule. He had deft hands though, which I felt certain could be used for better things than mixing drinks.

“Well I...” He seemed nervous.  I was in silver. The outfit was tight and displayed my long legs and flattered my chest and I occasionally tickled the man’s chin with the feathery accesories.  It was a shame he found me intimidating; I had ideas for his skilled fingers. “...I’m sure there’ll be other people, ma’am.  And you’re a bit small for a Klingon anyhow, they can get pretty rough...”

I objected loudly; my words were a bit slurred.

“This isn’t about the Klingon!  Must you be as dense as my brother?”  I shouted. My senses were dulled by various libations and my eloquence was failing me.  “Haven’t you ever felt...well it’s power, your own power...like the power that’s in you all the time but you never really...no...it’s like electricity...”

I could see from the look in his eyes that he had no conception of what I was talking about.  I moaned in agony and lay my head on the bar, hiding behind my feathers.

“You do think I’m being silly.” I accused.

“Well not really, ma’am.  It’s obviously bothering you.  Have you thought about talking to a counselor?”

I groaned, my own breath rustling my artificial plumage.  The round man was trying to help, I suppose, so I forgave him for mentioning counselors.  I wanted to know what I was feeling, not to be brainwashed into some kind of conformist zombie.  The bartender wisely tried another tactic.

“Have you tried something dangerous since then?”  He asked.

I peered up at him from my cool place on the bar.  He was polishing a glass and had a scrumptiously earnest look on his face.

“Dangerous?” I queried.

“Well, yeah.”  He said. “It sounds kind of like you’re wanting an adrenaline rush or something. Like you wanna feel on edge.”

I propped myself up on my elbows.  “It wasn’t like that...”

My objection halted in mid-sentence.  Had it been the danger?  Klingons are always killing people that offend them and I had known that trying to seduce the Commander might offend him.  My inebriated mind began to notice other things I hadn’t considered before:  I’d offered myself to him on his own ship where his authority was total and unquestioned.   I’d invaded his personal territory by entering his quarters and presented my body for his inspection with no weapon in reach or way to escape.  Even had he not foolishly turned me down I might’ve been gloriously abused; he’d possesed a strong distaste for me and perhaps he’d have let his feral passions go too far. 

Why, it’d been the most dangerous thing I’d ever done!

Perhaps I’d known of all those dangers but had failed to notice them amid my fear for Argent and that’d triggered the glorious feeling I craved so.  Excitement swelled beneath my breasts and without a bit of planning I siezed the bartender’s silly tie and pulled him in for a wild kiss.

He stammered and flushed after I released him.  I still had hold of his tie and I kept my face close to his while giving him a stare that had had Romulans begging on their knees for more of me.

“I like you.”  I told him.

“I...I like you too, ma’am.  Thank you.”  His eyes were wide.

“And...” I said, drawing the word out in the dramatic manner favored by the intoxicated.  “...I think you may be on to something.”

“Glad I could help, ma’am.”

“Would you like to be on me?” I asked.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2006, 10:34:00 pm »
Damn dude. I used to hate this character.

Now I can't get enough. More, man, more!

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2006, 12:12:51 pm »
I agree, nice to see were you're going
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #16 on: November 14, 2006, 10:10:59 am »
Part Three....

----------------------


I’d been right about the bartender’s hands.

More important, he’d given me a bit of hope.  Perhaps danger was the tonic I needed.  To that end I stood on the observation deck, reading about our cruise’s next few stops. I was hampered by being in the Federation, as most daredevil acts had been watered down with safety measures that removed any real risk.  Still, there had to be some nightmarish local custom that’d survived homogenization.  So, I sipped my wine, watched the stars fly by, and browsed though all the electronic travel brochures to find an appropriate fix.

Swimming with Tarkellian daggerfish looked dangerous but I cannot abide fish so it was out no matter how good I look in a bathing suit.  The mock battles fought on Malor Prime were only mildly dangerous despite their reputation.  Lava surfing on the same planet was too dangerous---I wanted to get back what I had lost but I’d prefer surviving the experience.

I might normally have been frustrated, both from lack of progress and from reading too many brochures. Yet the wine, the spark of hope, and the bartender’s expert ruffling of my feathers had left me rather giddy.

Then a Vulcan started talking to me.

“Excuse me, ma’am.”  He said in that infuriatingly calm tone common to his race.  He was not tall.  His face looked remarkably friendly for a Vulcan, and while the species' lack of passion unnerves me, his ears did rather beg to be nibbled.  He was wearing spare clothing, and looked fit.

“Yes?” I asked, dropping my voice an octave and making eye contact.

He either ignored my tone or was not impressed by it.  I was dissapointed.

“I don’t mean to intrude on a personal matter.”  He explained.  “I overheard you speaking to the bar staff, and I was wondering if I may be of some assistance.”

I surreptitiously adjusted my top as he mentioned the bartender.

“Oh?” I said.  This was new.  Vulcans rarely approached and asked for my favors so bluntly.

“Yes.”  He said, holding his hands behind his back.  “I heard you discussing your encounter with...a Klingon?...and the difficulties you’ve had since.  I thought perhaps some of my experiences might be of value to you.”

“What do you mean?”  So he didn’t want to get under my plumage.  I sighed.

“I have spent far more time among humans than many of my species.  I feel, perhaps incorrectly, that I’ve gotten to know them rather well.  Your description of your problem seemed similar to complaints I’ve heard from others.”  His face was remarkably still.  “I felt I might provide some insight.”

I tried very hard not to shiver, and I stepped away from him.

“You’re a counselor.”  I accused.

He raised an eyebrow in that most Vulcan of expressions.

“I am qualified for that position, however...”

“I don’t like counselors.”  I spoke quietly, and then felt a spike of...guilt?  That was unusual.  “I’m sorry.  It’s nothing to do with you.”

He regarded me for a moment, as if deciding what to say.

“I understand.”  He said.  “I am most often here on the observation deck or on the promenade, if you wish to speak with me.”

The Vulcan turned and walked away.  I took a long drink of my wine, and my nerves steadied a bit.  Something on my datapad caught my eye.  I read over it.

My giddiness rushed back.  This had possibilities!
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2006, 10:13:27 am »
Not only is it short, you've also added a cliffhanger and a misterious stranger... Dude you're cruel!
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2006, 05:26:02 am »
I have ideas about that Vulcan. La'ra doen't use them without purpose...

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Potemkyn

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Re: Lunatic Fringe
« Reply #19 on: November 19, 2006, 10:11:16 pm »
Interesting, yet very strange...

:)


Po~