Topic: Calyx: A serial novel of the Federation

[Scottish Andy]

All in one thread please, Rommie. I second Kieran's words, and add that its easier to save your favourite stories to disk and re-read them when they're all on one place.

[Andromeda]

Calyx: Chapter I - Acasja

Arith Kiyos walked along the main hall of the administration building of Tory Secondary School in New New York City.  A girl was standing boredly outside the principal’s office; her head down and one knee bent so her foot was against the wall.  Indicating her pink shorts, he said “Hey Acasja, so that’s the uniform in question.  It looks pretty good to me.”

She looked up and smiled.  “Oh, hi Kiyos.  I don’t see what the big deal is.  It’s on the approved list.  But they went ahead and called my aunt.  She’s in there now and no doubt getting her ears chewed off by Principal Maguch.”  Her tone turned harsh and her voice rose.  “It should be me getting yelled at not her; she didn’t do anything wrong.  I’m the one wearing a boy’s uniform.”

Kiyos put his hands on Acasja’s shoulders.  “Don’t.  Let her handle it.”

She pushed his arms away.  “I can’t.”  She turned sharply and grasped the door handle, fending off Kiyos’s attempts to stop her.  She pushed the door open and marched past the startled receptionist.  Acasja opened the door and barged into the main office.

“Principal Maguch, it’s my responsibility for what happened.  You shouldn’t yell at my aunt!” Acasja announced to the surprised occupants of the room.  Behind her Kiyos raised his hands in a helpless gesture of resignation.  

Her aunt stood up from the leather chair across from the principal’s desk.  Facing her niece, she raised a hand and slapped her sharply across the face.  “Behave.  We will discuss this matter at home.  Now go.”  Her face brighter than her pink hair, Acasja turned sharply, bowed to the principal, and left the room without another word.  Kiyos arched his eyebrows and the corners of her lips turned slightly upward in a hint of a smile.  He gave a quick bow to the principal and followed after Acasja, shutting the door behind them.

“Quite a girl you have there, Miss Tilfe,” the principal commented.  “We can’t permit her to wear attire not in the dress code, however.”

“I’m sorry.  Ever since her parents died, she’s been an extraordinary child,” explained Tilfe Accalia.  “When I took her in, I was too much in grief to tell her the truth. I told her that her parents had gone away for a while but loved her very much.  It was right when the Federation made first contact with us.  So I told her they had gone with the starship.  She told me not to cry and that she would stay with me until her parents came back for her.”  Principal Maguch brought a hand to her mouth and gasped, making a sympathetic noise.  “I’m sure she’s figured out the truth but she has never asked and never cried, at least not in front of me.
  
“She is an exceptional athlete and exceptionally gifted intellectually as well. She’s really very considerate. I’m sure you and I can work out an accommodation.  Besides, knowing her, I have no doubt that her uniform is legally within the school’s dress code.”

Acasja was already outside of the building and running toward the wall that surrounded the school.  She vaulted to the top and jumped lightly down the other side.  Kiyos managed to get both arms on the top and began to pull himself after her.  “Can’t you take normal paths?” he said breathlessly.

“I like secret paths and shortcuts,” she replied flatly.  “If you don’t like danger, then don’t fall for me.”  Then she was off and racing towards an alleyway.  Shock registering on his face, Kiyos fell behind and Acasja was soon out of sight.  Muttering to himself, he hurried out to the street and along the sidewalk.  He walked as briskly as he could to the condominium where the Tilfe’s lived.

Acasja was waiting for him at the entrance.  She had several envelopes in her hand and was reading one of the pieces of mail.  “Uh, about what we were talking about earlier…”

She folded the letter and looked steadily at him.  “Yes?”

His nerve almost faltered.  “Well, do you… I mean, is there… someone?  A person you like?”  

“Me?” she asked with artificial naïveté.  She glanced at the addresses on the envelopes.  “Well…” Then she stopped suddenly and her cheeks brightened.  She pulled out the second envelope from those in her hand and read the address label.  “A letter with a Federation seal!  It came again this year!”

“Why would that happen?” Kiyos said crossly.  “Who’s it from?”

“Him, of course.”  She turned away from him and ran toward the elevators.

“Who’s him?”
A door opened and she darted inside.  “The person that I like,” she blurted out and the door closed between them.

Acasja ran heedlessly to her own room, opening the letter as she ran.  Inside was the familiar postcard with a view of some alien scene on the back.  She flipped it over to read the words on the front, wondering what message it would give her.  “This year,” it said, “we will finally meet.”  Excitement overwhelmed her so quickly that Acasja felt as if her heart would burst.  

She opened her dresser and rummaged until she found her secret stash hidden beneath her undergarments.  There were the eight other postcards and the ring, wrapped in silk and bound with a ribbon.  She sat them on the bed and reverently opened the wrapping.  One by one she began to read them again.

Unnoticed, Kiyos slipped into the room and began reading over her shoulder.  “A bunch of cards and a ring?” he asked.

“Hey,” she exclaimed, startled.  “Who gave you permission to follow me inside?”

He ignored her.  “Perhaps you’d like to explain…”

“They’re never signed, but they’re all the same.  They always come in the fall when the Sutena bloom,” she said referring to the fragrant pink blossoms that were growing outside of the building.  “I know in my heart they’re from him.  Who else could they be from?”

“I met him nine years ago.  It was raining; the heavens were crying with me.  That was the day I figured out that my parents were never coming back.  I wandered through the streets.  A child in a raincoat laughed at me.  Finally I came to the river.  There was a hole in the fence.  It was as if the river were calling to me.  I remember falling heavily toward it and then it embraced me.  

“A hand grabbed me then and pulled me out.  I remember the gold bands on his shirt.  Two solid bands and one braided one.  I remember asking ‘who are you?’ but he said ‘it’s all right.’  Then he kissed my cheek.  ‘Just remember you’re never alone.  I’m giving you some of my strength.  I have to go now, but there will come a time when we may meet again, if you do not lose your new, noble heart.’  Then he gave me the ring and was gone.

“It was like waking up from a dream.  I was in the park under the May sunlight and the skies were clear.  My aunt was calling me.   I never told her about my parents or him.  When we got home, I took the dictionary and looked up the word noble.”

Kiyos looked at her in disbelief.  “It was a dream.  What kind of man just gives a nine-year old girl a ring like that?  It’s probably something left from your parents and your aunt has been sending you the cards.  An incentive to keep you going until you were old enough.”

“I thought it was a dream at first,” Acasja said softly, “but I don’t believe that.  This year’s card says we’ll finally meet.  It has to be real.”

Kiyos grabbed the front of her men’s shirt and shook her.  “He’s a dream.  Get over it and move on with your life.  Find a real guy to be in love with.”  She glared up at him.

“Let me go.”

His cheeks reddened and he released her.  He scooped up the cards and ring.  “Let me borrow these.  I won’t hurt them, but I’ll prove it to you.”

She stood still in shock as he walked out.  “If something happens to them, or if you mention this to my aunt, we’re through!” she yelled after him.  “You got that?”  Acasja moved to the window to watch him go and then she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.  A man was standing by the road, looking up at her window.  He was wearing black pants with a green shirt that had gold braiding on one wrist.  His hair was brown and cut short in an unusual style with pointed sideburns.  She guessed his age to be thirty.  She took in his appearance in only a moment and the turned to look at him more closely, but he was gone.  

The next morning of school passed by slowly.  Acasja found a note in her locker from Kiyos, asking her to meet him in the library at lunch time.  “Your hero doesn’t exist,” he said calmly.  When she glared harshly at him, he hastily added “I can prove it.”  

He got out the cards and began laying them out on the table.  “There’s a message on the front of the cards, but there’s also one on the back.  Not in words, but in pictures.  He arranged them so that the shape of a large building took place.  “That’s the headquarters building in Hollans for the company your aunt works for.  And these notes.  Look at the font.  They’re printed out using the same kind of printer that’s in your own house.”

Acasja snatched the cards up.  “That’s it?  You’re saying he doesn’t exist based on that?”  

Kiyos nodded.  “Your aunt sent them.”  She put a hand to her mouth and stared blankly for a moment.  Suddenly she turned and ran from the library.

Outside, Acasja ran until she was out of breath.  She leaned against one of the stone walls of the school and hugged herself.  It really had been a dream, still was a dream, and she was like the sleeping beauty and could not wake up.  Somehow she had to force herself to wake up and go on with her life.  

[Andromeda]

She spent the rest of the school day in a perpetual haze.  At home, she made dinner by rote.  When her aunt came home, she sat down two plates at the table with a large bowl of pasta and meatballs.  Her aunt, however, was not alone.  With her was the man in uniform that Acasja had seen the day before.  “This is Captain Acton from the Federation.  He’s here visiting and has some business with my superiors.  I’ve invited him for dinner this evening.”

Captain Acton reached a hand toward Acasja to shake her hand, but when she extended hers, he took it and brought it to his lips and kissed it.  She noticed then that he was wearing a ring like the one she had been given.  It was perhaps the only thing she noticed all evening.  Her mind was in a whirl of hope and imagined romance. 

“You were outside my window last night,” she commented.  “Why?”

“Ah, you recognized me then.  Your aunt told me she had a beautiful niece.  I see that she was not deceiving me.”  Acasja’s blushed and turned her head away.  She quickly passed him the bowl of pasta. 

“We eat pretty simply most days,” her aunt explained.  “Help yourself.”

He took a large portion and began eating in earnest.  “It’s very good, Acasja.  Thank you for making this.  A woman of many talents, this niece of yours.”

Aunt Accalia smiled and Acasja blushed again.

There wasn’t much conversation for a while.  All three were hungry.  “Accalia told me you had a problem with your uniform at school,” Captain Acton finally said, as he slid his bread around the plate, sopping the last few bits of food.  “Good for you.  Keep standing up for yourself.  I love strong women.”   Aunt Accalia volunteered to do the clean up and left the two of them to talk. 

“May I ask you something?” she said tentatively. 

“Of course,” he replied firmly and laughed. 

“That ring.  Where did you get it?” 

He looked down at his hand.  “Oh, that.  It’s a starship emblem: the USS Enterprise.  Everyone who graduates from Starfleet Academy gets a ring from the ship that’s their first assignment.  I’m not allowed to wear it on duty, but I like it.”
“I have one just like it.  Want to see?” 

He didn’t appear to be surprised by her revelation. In fact, he seemed pleased that she had mentioned it.  “No, that’s fine.  That you told me is good enough.”  He sat back and let out a contented sigh. 

“I want to show you anyway,” she replied.  It was important to her, a secret that she hadn’t shared with anyone.  Kiyos didn’t count since she hadn’t done it on purpose.  It was more special to her now since it was a secret shared only between her and the captain.  Just then her aunt came in to take the extra bread and put it back in the pantry.  “Perhaps it had should wait for a better time,” Acasja said with a glance through the open doorway to the kitchen. 

He seemed to agree.  “That was a good meal,” he said, changing the subject.  “Now go ahead.  Is there anything else you want to know about me?  I imagine I’ll become an important part of your life from now on.”  Acasja gasped and felt like she would faint.  A white cloud filled her vision for an instant.  “Are you alright?” he asked, rising quickly and steadying her with a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” she said, patting her chest.  She asked a question to turn his attention from her and to give her a moment to recover.  “But what are those bands on your sleeve?”  Her heart was beating so loud that she was sure he could hear it.  She took a glass of wine in both hands and sipped at it. 

“You are the curious one, aren’t you?” he said, laughing again.  “They are rank insignia.  These mean that my rank is captain.”  Another question entered her mind but she never got to ask it.  A sudden crash from out on the porch interrupted their conversation.  Acasja ran, the captain right behind her, to the door and opened it.  A gust of wind blew into the room, carrying a few leaves in with it.  Lying broken on the ground outside the window was an orange urn with a flower in it.  The flower looked a lot like a Sutena, but it was white and very fragrant with a heady, unfamiliar scent.  Acasja had to take a deep breath to absorb it.  She loved flowers and cared for the ones in front of the building.

“Oh, you’re gift.  It’s ruined,” said her aunt coming up behind them.  “And you said it was a rare white rose from Earth.”

Acasja bent down and touched one of the petals.  She noticed the stem was turning blue.  “I don’t think we’ll be able to re-pot it.  I think it’s dying.”  Captain Acton put a sympathetic hand on her aunt’s shoulder. 

Acasja recalled little more of the evening until after the captain had left.  “Oh, I nearly forgot,” her aunt said, “I asked about the uniform at school,” her aunt said.  “You can wear it this way for the rest of the semester.  After that it won’t matter.  I’m being transferred to Hollans.  I got a big promotion and we’ll be moving over winter break.”

“That’s fine,” she said, dazedly.  “I don’t mind at all.”  She wondered how she would get to speak to Captain Acton without her aunt around – far away, not just in the next room.  He had been her hero, her dream, for as long as she could remember.  To have him here now left her confused and unsure of herself.  At the very least, she was going to explode and go crazy. The large ache in her heart was something she had never felt before and something she could not explain.  She wasn’t sure if it was good or bad, but it was wrenching and she knew that, with it, her life had changed.

Then she wondered what she would do with her life with its dream fulfilled so suddenly.  Not only did she want to be with the captain, but she wanted to be just like him.  That was the main part of her ambition.  She wanted to stand on the deck of a starship, giving orders, having her crew relying on her strength and judgment.  He had set her on that course himself.  Surely he would encourage her to continue to pursue it. Of course it didn’t have to be a starship, she told herself.  She just imagined it that way now because that is what he was.  Anywhere that she could be the hero and do great things would be enough.

Acasja slept poorly; she was too excited to get a proper rest.  When she finally did fall asleep, she dreamed of him, their lips touching, his strong body pressed against her, sharing urges that she had so for only experienced alone.  It did not improve the quality of her sleep.

Despite the lack of sleep, she was full of energy the next day.  Her books held in front of her chest, Acasja bounced into her morning classes with a big smile on her face.  She dropped them in a carefree pile on her desk without putting them away.  “Guess what, Kiyos,” she said, “he does exist.  He visited our house last night.  His name is V. Luke Acton, a Federation Starship Captain.”  He gaped at her in surprise, but didn’t have a chance to answer her; the class bell rang and interrupted their conversation.  Nor did they find a chance to talk during lunch break.  For having a messy desk, Acasja spent that period cleaning the classroom. 

After school she grabbed Kiyos and practically dragged him to her aunt’s office, where she expected to find the Captain.  “I don’t need to see your hero,” he protested.

“Oh yes you do,” she insisted.  “Otherwise you won’t really believe me.  He even said he likes me, but we didn’t get much of a chance to really talk.”

“That’s a little sudden, isn’t it?”

“Come on,” she laughed.  “We’ve known each other for years.  Plus he saved my life.”  She led Kiyos into the office building and to the third story office that was her aunt’s.  She wasn’t in, but Acasja thought she heard her aunt’s voice from the storeroom.  She flung fully open the door that was already ajar.  Standing in front of a shelf of copy paper were her aunt and Captain Acton.  They were embracing each other tightly and their lips were locked in a passionate kiss. 

“It wasn’t me,” Acasja whispered, stunned.  “It was you.”  The couple broke apart quickly, faces red, and adjusted their clothing.  They looked at her and Kiyos with surprised expressions of embarrassment.  She stood a moment longer until she could make her legs move and then turned and ran back out the door. 

“Acasja!” her aunt called uselessly after her. 

[Andromeda]

Kiyos frowned at the couple, walked up calmly, and slugged the Starfleet captain in the jaw.  “Sorry about that,” he muttered and then he ran after his friend.  He was glad she had told him the story of her first encounter with the captain; it was the only way he knew where she’d be.  She was already through the hole in the fence at the edge of the river.  As he watched, she spread her arms and launched herself into the river in a high-arcing dive.  “No!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, too late.   

As fast as he could run, Kiyos sped towards the river.  He barely fit through the hole and snagged his shoe as he was passing through it.  He tore it off angrily and ran to the river’s edge with one bare foot.  He looked down and saw Acasja some distance down the current.  She was holding a small figure, a girl, in her hands and was nearing the far bank.  She pushed the girl up on to the dry land and held the verge for a moment.  Then her hands slipped loose and she sank back beneath the surface. 

Not a strong swimmer, Kiyos knew he couldn’t jump in after her.  He looked hurriedly left and right.  There was a staircase leading down a hundred meters away.  He made his way down as quickly as he could and ran to the river’s edge.  To his surprise, someone had beaten him to it.  A man, drenched in water, held Acasja in his arms.  Seeing Kiyos, he laid her on the ground.  He seemed to fade from sight and disappeared completely in a silvery shimmer.  Kiyos blinked, not sure if he had imagined it, and then ran quickly to where Acasja lay.

As he reached her side, her eyes fluttered open.  “Where am I?” she asked.  “How did I get here?”

“Do you remember?” he asked in turn.

She nodded.  “Some of it anyway.  I was coming here to look at the river.  I do that when I’m depressed.  Then I saw a little girl fall in, like I did all those years ago.  I… I tried to save her.  I’m not sure what happened after that.”

“Look!” he said, pointing to the other side.  A woman, he guessed the girl’s mother, was helping the child up and wrapping her in her own coat.  “You did save her but then you fell back into the water.  I was afraid you were going to drown.  I ran as fast as I could.”

“Did you save me?”

He stopped.  He couldn’t answer her.  He wanted to say it had been him, but couldn’t.  Finally he spat it out and his voice sounded unintentionally bitter. “If I did, would you look at me like you look at your Captain?”


“The reason I considered him so dear to me isn’t that he saved my life.  He gave me something beautiful, something shining.  He taught me that I have the courage and the strength within me to live a noble life.”  Kiyos stared at her intent face as Acasja spoke and sighed.  She continued less emphatically and her voice was soft. “I guess it’s okay if he’s in love with my aunt and not me.  He said he liked strong women, I thought he meant me.  He meant her.”

Kiyos took a deep breath and sat down on the far end of the bench.  “Are you sure you really want to know the truth about your hero captain?”

She glanced up at him before finding a spot on the ground to stare at.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, hesitating.  “I mean.”  He sighed heavily.  With her he could only say the truth.  “Your hero does exist and he’s not Captain Acton.  I saw him.  I think I did anyway. I wanted to rescue you.  I tried to reach you in time, but I was too late.  When I arrived at the river’s edge, he was already holding you.  He saw me and set you down and then he vanished.  I know what you mean now.  It’s almost like it really was a dream. That’s how I know it wasn’t Captain Acton.  It didn’t look like him.  But that’s not all.  I can prove he exists.”

“Did he have a green shirt and dark hair?” she asked breathlessly.  Her voice was all excitement again and her recent accident forgotten.  “Wait.   You can prove he exists?  Then you must have known about him all along.”

“I did,” he admitted glumly.  “I didn’t want you to go after him.  You’re the best thing that ever entered my life.  But, since you’re moving with your aunt anyway, I’d better tell you while I still have the chance.”

He looked at her then, but she was focused on his revelation, not him.  “The cards do have a message on the back.  Let me see them.” 

Acasja reached for her bag. “Oh, it’s up by the hole in the fence.”  He reached a hand down to help her up.  When she put her weight on his arm he winced and all the strength left him. 

“I’m bleeding,” he said dumbly, looking down.  There was red around the sole of his bare foot.   “I must have cut it going after you.  I didn’t notice until now.”

She smiled warmly.  “I guess the crisis is over.  She reached under her uniform jacket and took out a yellow scarf.  She gently examined his foot and wiped the grime and stones off the bottom.  Then she wrapped the scarf around the cut on the bottom.  “This will hold until you get it looked at by a doctor.  Now lean on me and we’ll get back to the top.”

Once there, she carefully replaced his shoe and tied it so that it wouldn’t slide against the makeshift bandage.  “Can you show me the message now, or do you want to go home first?”

“Right.”  He opened the backpack and found her postcards.  He laid them out on the ground.  “They are different parts of one scene.  It’s the Federation’s Starfleet Academy.”  She rolled her eyes at him.  “I know, I know.  You already knew that.  Just look here at the last one.  By this tree here, there’s a small square.  If you blow it up, it’s a placard with writing on it.”  From his own book bag, he pulled out a folded piece of paper.  On it were several letters in a blocky, unfamiliar script. “It’s Latin, an ancient language of Earth.  I had to look it up.” He glanced at her one last time, but her eyes were shining and focused solely on the paper.  His eyes were filled with tears too.  He knew he was losing her forever.  “It says ‘I will meet you here.’  That’s your final clue.”

It was well after dark when Acasja slipped into her aunt’s condominium.  The lights in her aunt’s bedroom were out but there was a light on in the kitchen.  Her aunt had left her a note and a plate of food.  She read the note, “We’ll talk in the morning, young lady,” as she reheated her dinner.  She peeked in on her sleeping aunt as she turned in for the night.

The next morning, her aunt was waiting for her at breakfast.  “About yesterday,” Accalia began.  “What happened?”

“Oh, I’m sorry auntie,” Acasja replied lightly.  “I didn’t mean to upset you.  I was just surprised when I walked in on you, that’s all.  Do apologize to Captain Acton for Kiyos.  He’s very protective of me.”  She got up to leave.

“We’re not done,” her aunt said and Acasja, half standing, slid back into the chair.  “I’m moving and you’re coming with me.  You know that.  That’s not all.  Captain Acton and I are getting married and the three of us can become a sort of family.”

“Congratulations,” Acasja answered sincerely, “but I won’t be moving in with you.”

“You’re still in school and a young lady shouldn’t be out on her own alone.  Or are you and Kiyos going to get married when you graduate?”

Acasja laughed at the idea.  It was almost hysterical to her.  “Kiyos never was my boyfriend, auntie.  I thought you knew that.  But that’s not what I meant.  I’m going to Earth and to join the Federation.  I’m going to enter the Starfleet Academy there.

Last night I was at the library, getting all the information I need and downloading the proper forms for an application.  I filled out what I can, except for the essays, and have to give parts of it to you, my teachers, and Kiyos and my other friends.  It said on the Starfleet Net that a recommendation from a Starfleet Officer was very helpful.  Perhaps Captain Acton would be willing to forgive my rudeness of yesterday and do that for me?”

Her aunt looked at her in stunned silence.  “You’re sure… of course you are.  Alright, Acasja, fly away to your future.  I’m having dinner with Luke tonight.  We can ask him when he comes to pick me up.”

Captain Acton treated her as though nothing had happened.  “I’d be happy to sponsor your entry into Starfleet Academy,” he replied, smiling, in response to her nervous question.  “Even better, once you’ve completed the application, give it to me.  I’ll make certain it gets to the proper authorities more quickly than any other method.  You’d better hurry though if you want to get it done in time to be considered for the upcoming year.”

“I will,” Acasja promised solemnly.   She began filling it in while they were out.  She left the parts meant for her parents to be completed by her Aunt.  Though Acasja already knew the truth, she felt it better that her Aunt complete that section anyway. 

She took the part to be filled in by her teachers with her to school the next day.  There was the academics section that she took to the main office.  The recommendations she gave to those teachers whom were willing to accept the charge.  Acasja was sure they wouldn’t have done so had they known how often she would pester them to get them back.   At home when her schoolwork was done, she answered the essay questions.   Thanks to her constant pressing, she had everything completed within a week. 

Captain Acton was pleased to see her finish the task so quickly.  “Very promising,” he said, after looking over the packet she gave him.  “It all appears to be in order.  I’ve already completed my own recommendation as well.  I included a bit about how you inspire loyalty in others to the point of them hitting a Starfleet Officer over an alleged slight to your honour.”  It elicited an embarrassed smile from Acasja. 

Two days later, he dropped by their home after Acasja returned from school and before her aunt was done at work.  “I submitted your application and I can tell you that, while it will take some time - probably after you graduate - before you receive official notification, you will be accepted for the next year’s class at the academy.”  She gave him a very polite and formal thank you.  She did not mention it to her aunt or Kiyos.  Both of them could wait until she received official notification.

The acceptance came shortly before her aunt had completed all the preparations for the move to Hollans.  It was a brief message on the computer instead of an envelope delivered by post.  She told her aunt that night and waited for morning to reveal it to Kiyos.

He had found a summer job working at the city library.  The quiet of that place was too intimidating even for Acasja.  She waited until he took his lunch break.  She treated him to her favorite café.  Over a parfait at the end of the meal she said, “I got accepted to Starfleet Academy.  I’ll be traveling to Earth on a real starship. It’s leaving in two days.”

He nodded.  “I always knew you would.  How could you not?  You’re so good at everything.”  He looked away from her for a moment.  “Oh, my time’s nearly up.  I have to get back to the library.”  He stood up hurriedly, knocking over his chair and resetting it.  “I’ve got to go.”

“Kiyos, wait,” she said, grabbing his hand to keep him from leaving.  He still did not look at her.  “I know how much you’ve done for me.  You’ve always… been there… for me…” She could see his distress, suddenly realizing how deeply he cared for her. 

She released him, stood up, and came around the table.  Gently but irresistibly she turned him to face her.  A slow tear was trickling down the side of his face.  She put a hand on his cheek and lifted his face until he was looking at her.  “Acasja?”

She stepped up and into him and brought her lips to his cheek, touching them to the trail of salty liquid that ran down his face.  “Thank you, she whispered.  She wiped the tear gently away with her lips.  “There.  Now you have the same strength I was given.  Because you’re the friend I love the most.”  She put her arms around him and they held each other for a long time. 

She released him, took his hand in hers, and shook it.  “I have to go now and find my destiny on my own.  I’m not sure what awaits me at Starfleet Academy, she continued, starting toward the exit.  He watched her go with a whimsical smile on his face.  She paused in the doorway.  “I do know all of my life so far has been a prologue for tomorrow.”  He kept her in his sight until she reached the end of the street and vaulted the stone fence and was gone.

[CaptJosh]

Well, I like it very much so far. Your main character's general attitude reminds me a lot of Commander Piper, from Dreadnought and Battlestations. Very headstrong, simultaneously sure and unsure of herself...I'm going to have to reread this later to get a better feel and a more complete review. Assuming I remember to review it.

[Commander La'ra]

Very interesting, so far.  Believable adolescent/family drama that's brief and fast paced enough to let the reader know it's not the main point of the story. 

I like the relationship between Acasja and Kiyos, it's realistic enough to be irritating that Acasja doesn't feel/show more affection.   Not until women hit their mid-thirties does the male gender have it's final revenge.*eyeshift*

I take it that our protagonist is either not human or from a human culture that isn't the usual?  If so, not just directly stating that and letting us infer from the details is pretty effective...though early on, when the aunt slaps Acasja, I didn't know that and wondered why the Principal wasn't coming out of his chair (Someone does that to one of my clients, for instance, and it's on like 6-6-44)...though I also wonder if the differences aren't part of the 'different' and 'terrible secret' things you mentioned in the initial post.

All in all, can't wait to see how the Academy goes for our heroine.

[Andromeda]

I thought it was important to show a bit of "normal" life before I got into the Academy part.  I thought it was a good way to develop her personality without having to put it into plot.  There are some elements that are foreshadowed.

About the culture, that's a reflection of where I live.  Since I've moved to Australia, I spend a lot more time in Japan and Hong Kong.  The culture of Acasja's world is based a lot on what I've observed there.  A student barging in to speak to the principal like that would be all but unthinkable.  Her aunt's reaction would be very appropriate at the least.  The principal in turn wouldn't bat an eye and would scrupulously ignore the event.  She would find nothing wrong with the aunt's reaction.

[Scottish Andy]

Sorry, Rommie. I have to say that I really don't get it.

Larry says that it's brief and I agree, only more so. It's too brief for me to sink my teeth into. The meeting with the captain when she was nine seems really weird and surreal, and the story has a kinda... anime feel to it. Which is by no means a bad thing, as Kadh's 'Projeck B-Ko' proved. I just can't quite latch on to this.

Admittedly, I can see what both Josh and Larry noted and I will be back to find out what happens next. I'm just saying that, to me, it seemed a bit rushed.

[Governor Ronjar]

Hmmm...

Still chewing on it, really... I do know that I'll be back to read any further 'chapters' in the tale.

I kinda agree with Andy. Certain scenes seem sureal, not quite right.

Maybe if I see more, I can get a handle on the tale and it won't seem so off.

What I did like:
a) The fact that the main character goes to school in a boy's uniform.
b) The fact that the aunt didn't go in there and 'lay down the law', thus making it so that she could go on wearing it. More realistic that way.
c) That the boy had the gall to hit a Starfleet officer. (Though if I take green for a marine's uniform, I know of few marines who'd have allowed it, or allowed him to get away with it)


Gimme more.

--thu guv!

[Andromeda]

Green was the colour of Captain Kirk's wrap-style shirt. 

Andy, it only gets more surreal from here on out.

[Governor Ronjar]

Ah! I always forget about that one...

By the way, are there any physical, appearance type differences in your 'aliens' in this story. You've stated that they were contacted by the Feds and she needed officer sponcer-ship to join the Academy. And did I read something about pink hair...or did I cross some words somewhere....

I'll reread that first part.

Oh, another thing I liked was your Starfleet Captain's practice of 'pulling strings'. I mean, he promissed results without even batting an eye. AND, more importantly, delivered them! That made me like him.

--thu guv!

[Andromeda]

The alienness of these people and to what degree gets addressed in story later.  They're not significantly different from the norm though.

Glad you like Acton.  Acton / action. 

[Commander La'ra]

Andy, it only gets more surreal from here on out.

Can't speak for our represenative from the British Commonwealth, but I'm a pretty big fan of 'surreal'.

[Governor Ronjar]

Maybe I should lend you 'The Martian Chonicles', then. Now that is surreal...

And I'd kinda wondered about the Acton/Action thing.

--thu guv!

[Andromeda]

The next part got unfavourably looked over as too surreal so I'm rewriting.  Hang in there.

[KOTH-KieranXC, Ret.]

Glad to see you're still working on this, Andromeda. I enjoyed the introduction, and I'll be watching for more.

[Andromeda]

Finally finished and have time to be here.  Part I coming very soon.  Hoperully toninght.

[Commander La'ra]

Hell yeah.

[Governor Ronjar]

indeed


--thu guv!

[Czar Mohab]

Honestly, I have to admit that I've been trolling through the works of the past to catch up on where everyone is at with what they are doing. I hadn't got to this yet, so I'm glad it got bumped to the top.

Surreal anime seems to be the general consensus of what people feel this reads as. And, picturing the characters with those huge anime eyes and over the top reactions to things doesn't sit well with me. The pink hair maybe, but that's about it. As for surrealism, it does feel as if the main 'toon is living a semi dreamlike existence. This, I like. Gives the feel akin to the Great Bird's view of the future, that whatever bad has come, there is always good; that whatever your dreams, they can come true.

I'm not sure what you have planned for her, but I can't wait until she takes her big chair for the first time, making some memorable quote similar to "Let's see what's out there!" or something.

I also look forward to some of the classroom experiences she's bound to have, as this is a hugely different era compared to when that stupid Crusher kid went through (and the only sources I've read about academy life seem to come from, with regards to actual detail more than "Kirk beat the K-Maru", et al, that we are forced to accept as "thats all there is" from a canon point of view).

I really like what has been written thus far, and I am truly waiting for more. Take your time, and be not sorry for delays. I'm patient.

Czar "I hope its tonight" Mohab