Topic: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half  (Read 3695 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 564
  • Gender: Male
  • Chewie - Go jiggle the handle!
Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« on: July 09, 2007, 07:11:07 am »
   “Sir!” the security guard at the agonizer booth sounded off. “Talon has completed his four cycles in the booth and is currently unconscious. Shall we space him while he sleeps or wake him?”
   “You know,” Mohab started his reply. “I made him a promise. Wake him, get stims from doc if you have to, and talk to him real gentle. Then, strip his clothes off of him and load him into the air lock. Ask him if he has any last words. If not, let him suck vacuum.”
   “Aye, sir. We have a hypo for waking him already… stand by, I’ll patch you through to the booth and airlock com system, so you can listen in.” There was a faint click as the patch was engaged. “There you are, sir. You can hear, yes?”
   “Affirmative,” Mohab replied.
   “Very good. If you’ll follow me, sir…” Mohab pondered whether this particular security guard had a full deck or not. Didn’t matter, really, all he needed them to do was follow orders and still be human enough to question the tougher ones. Not robots, never wanted robots as guards. It was a lesson hard learned on his home world. “I’ve administered the hypo spray… Good he’s coming around.”
   Talon grunted and gasped in pain, “I’ve told you everything I can tell you… except one last thing… they… they know…”
   “Yes, my friend,” the burly guard interrupted him. “C’mon up… there you are. Sorry ‘bout all that torture and the like. I was just following my orders. Lets get these clothes off of you… there we are, doesn’t that feel better than having such a crusty shirt about you? And lets not forget your trousers and under-roos, I bet those are really crunchy.”
   Talon struggled for breath against the sudden humiliation. He rasped, “They know you… are not… me… you need… me… alive…”
   “Well, cap’n said all you have to do is answer his question.”
   “It… it… it is too late for that… They know… they know you are coming... there is… there is a tracking device… in my skin…” Talon managed a laugh, and winced in pain, his naked form falling to the deck with a dull thud. “You kill me… and you’ll never live… to tell…” with his last gasp he resumed his state of unconsciousness.
   “Bloody hell… Sir, should I still space ‘im?”
   “No,” Mohab replied. If what Talon said was true, they couldn’t space the devil. At least, not yet. “Get him a clean set of clothes, and burn the ones he was in. When he comes to, take him to my ready-room and keep guard on him. We might be able to use him to our advantage, Mohab out.”
   Blood sighed beside him. “Never a dull moment being a pirate, eh?”
   Mohab smiled at his friend. “Never indeed.” Mohab looked back towards the view screen, and his expression blanked.
   “Trouble?”
   “Not at all, my friend, I’m just reflecting on the past. There comes a time in any commanding officer’s life where he wonders when he could have changed things to be different. Which order could have saved a lost crewman, which order could have killed more, that sort of thing…”
   “Aye, I myself have done that. Every time, I look back and find only one mistake.”
   “Really?” Mohab looked back at him, and smiled. “What is yours?”
   “I should have been Vulcan, but raised Klingon.”
   Mohab laughed out loud, and could have sworn he saw the slightest smile play on K’Tal’s lips. “We do have a surgeon on board if it’s the looks you are after.”
   “No, not the looks, the smarts… Really, who is the most mentally capable race amongst us all? The Vulcans are!”
   “Blood, my friend, I don’t think that you’d rather be a Vulcan. Pointy ears and logic don’t suit you.” Blood seemed offended, but laughed anyway.
   “What, my friend, is your mistake?”
   “Mine?” Mohab paused, deep in reflection. “The first one, goes way back to when I was a young boy, back to the Klingon invasion of my home world, Mandeline Three. I saw the Klingons coming. I saw them from our garden, and my mother told me to run, far away. I knew I was faster than her, I could have run and warned one of the palace guards, but like a coward I ran…”
   “You would have been killed, or at least that would be the logical outcome…”
   Mohab smiled at the Klingon. “I know, but I can’t help feeling that my family, my friends, my life, all would have been saved if I had run to the palace, and not run away.”
   “You did kill the Klingon commander, didn’t you?”
   Mohab laughed again. Smiling, he said, “That I did, and took a bite from his still beating heart. He said that my family died with honor, and that I had avenged their deaths. But still, I would rather have a family to write home to every once in a while.”
   “But you did more than avenge them. You honored them, and my people hold no grudge or ill will towards you for your act.”
   “I don’t want honor or grudges or anything but them…” Mohab stared at the screen again. “Then there was when the Battle to Reclaim Mandeline Three. I lost a good ship there to the Andromedans.”
   “And hasn’t the Klingon Empire thanked you enough for your efforts with this ship, and his disruptors?”
   “I didn’t do it for them. I did it for my people. Granted, all humans came from earth, but the humans that were still on the planet, those who decided to stay despite the new rulers, were still my people. I did it for them. And the Andromedans thanked us both for the use of the planet by scorching it, completely burning everything and everyone… If I had not been so stubborn as to think I could handle the situation with the fleet I had… The Klingons offered to assist, and I turned them away.”
   “It’s how we learn, my friend.”
   “I know. The one thing that sticks in my craw, though, is the Hyperion Incident. Instead of sitting there, licking our wounds, we should have followed and destroyed the Andromedans.”
   “Ten ships in the most bastardized fleet ever to sail, and you let them go?”
   “Oh, aye, most certainly we did let them go. I was not in command of the fleet, and the order was given to hold position and protect the destroyer Hyperion. If I had it to do again, I would follow them, and do whatever I could to eliminate them.”
   “But surely the one that got away…”
   “Is waiting for us on the other side,” Mohab interrupted. “You don’t know yet where we are going?”
   “A secret Andromedan base, am I correct?”
   Mohab smiled and leaned in closer to the Klingon, and decided that Blood really needed to shower. “More than just a base, a research lab,” he said almost whispering. “If my hypothesis is correct, they’ve been collecting samples from each of the races.”
   “Okay, now you really should go get some rest.”
   “How many ships did the Klingons lose in sector twenty-one by five by nineteen?”
   “All eleven were lost.”
   “No. Nine were destroyed. Two were taken.”
   “Perhaps you are right… they said there was only debris from nine warships, the other two were presumed destroyed.”
   “And where do you think our friend Talon got that stasis mine from?”
   “You’re not saying…”
   Mohab pushed a few buttons on the left armrest of his command chair. The tiny monitor there showed the design schematics for a large scale stasis field generator, the pirated stolen from the pirate’s computer. “Yours is not the only race that can stop time, my friend. It is my belief that the Andromedans are holding in stasis at least four hundred ships, from races we know and some we’ve never heard of.” Mohab pressed more buttons, and the screen shifted to a text version of a communication. “This is one of several communications sent from this supposed base to their main staging area. We haven’t fully located that main base yet, but we do know that this message is telling them how to fight against Star Fleet destroyers, strengths and weaknesses. This one,” he pressed the ‘next’ button, “details strategies for going up against Romulan War Eagles. This one,” he pressed the ‘next’ button again, “Tholian PC class ships. This one Klingon fighter groups… The list goes on and on.”
   “How did you come to this?”
   “I have my sources. You should have been a Vulcan, I should have been a pirate.”
   “Have you told anyone of this? This base must be destroyed!”
   “If we did that, they would simply pack up and move elsewhere. No, we have to go almost solo on this one.”
   “Almost solo?”
   “I’ve told only one person in Star Fleet, not counting the bridge crew, and she is to tell two others when the time is right, of the coordinates extrapolated from the communications data. I’ve also taken the liberty of informing one of my contacts in the Romulan High Command. They should have ships nearby to assist us.”
   Blood looked surprised, hating the thought of Romulans fighting along side them, and then realized why the Romulans were the logical choice; their cloaking devices. “What if we fail?”
   “I never fail. But if we are delayed in our success, then we will have to wait.”
   Blood smiled slightly. “You, sir, are quite insane. It is my honor to follow you into this battle, even with those wretched Romulans. K’Tal! How long until emergence?”
   “To be Vulcan, you will first need to learn patience, sir,” K’Tal started. “We will emerge from the network in approximately twenty-two minutes.”
   “Then in twenty-two minutes we will know everything,” Blood commented.
   “Let us just hope our friends are ready, too,” Mohab remarked.
   Minutes passed like hours on the warship. In a burst of blue-green light, the mighty battle cruiser emerged from the network and came to an almost abrupt stop. Before them was the largest collection of galactic vessels ever amassed. The sight spread beyond view, and to the very edge of the ship’s sensors. It was, indeed, a very impressive sight, and at the far end sat a lone Andromedan base, watching everything in its silent gaze.
   “No Andromedan vessels currently on scanners,” K’Tal reported. “At least, there are no combat capable vessels. There appears to be several dozen small vessels tending to the collection.” She paused a moment and reviewed her instruments, and touched her screen to recalibrate. “All galactic vessels are in some form of stasis. Power readings are off the charts for the stasis field.” Her panel beeped a warning. She bent closer to the source of the alarm. “Sir, Dominator class vessel emerging from the network, putting it on screen.”
   On the main view screen, the image of the sleeper fleet faded and was replaced by the fading blue-green ring around one battered and nearly destroyed Andromedan warship, towing a Romulan vessel. The pair of ships swept over to the mass of other vessels. The Andromedan dropped its prize and turned around, and in a blue-green flash reentered the network. The Romulan vessel turned and attempted to flee, but was quickly enveloped in a tractor beam, and began a slow pull towards an open berth. “Oh, my…” Mohab started as he recognized both of the vessel’s markings. “We’re on our own. K’Tal, prepare the virus. We’ll have to shut this down ourselves. And that Dominator, it looks the same as the one at the Hyperion incident, I’d know it anywhere...”
   Blood winced at the thought, but was interrupted before he could speak. “Intruding vessel, identify,” the bridge speakers chattered in the voice of the universal translator. Mohab looked at Blood with a slight smile, as the computer generated voice was Klingon, female, and sounded very seductive.
   “K’Tal, put me through on our translator circuit,” Mohab said.
   “Com line is ready, sir.”
   “This is Captain Talon of the Mercenary Vessel Death Giver. We have your package, and we are here to deliver.” Mohab waited for the translator to do its job and the Andromedans to respond.
    “This is not the vessel you left in nor is it the same as you said you would arrive in. State your reason.”
   “This vessel attacked us and we captured it. We lost the Stolen Dreams in the battle.”
    “Very well, Talon. We read your tracking device as active. We detect no deception. Proceed to base; your payment will arrive shortly.”
   Mohab motioned to end the transmission. K’Tal nodded. “Get Talon up here on the double. Helm, set course for the station, half impulse. Try to stay clear of the stasis fields. But don’t look like that is what you are doing. Fly casual. K’Tal, do a comparison match between that Dominator and the one that attacked us at Hyperion.”
   “Working, sir… Identical match, it is the same ship.”
   Mohab’s Death Giver slipped silently past the sleeping ships along the center of the massive structure’s three prongs. There were only four-hundred or so ships berthed here, with room for a thousand more. As they approached the station, Mohab noticed that construction of a new spur had begun on the opposite side of the station. The routine bridge noise was interrupted by the turbo lift doors opening, and a rather beaten looking Talon emerged, followed by two security guards. “Ah,” Mohab said, standing up and facing his guest. “I see you have been redressed,” he said, pointing to Talon’s clean yellow tunic, black slacks and matching boots. “Not the latest fashion, I’m afraid, but it is all we had available. Please, come in, won’t you?”
   “Like I have a choice?” Talon retorted.
   “I suppose not. Funny that you’d mention that tracker you have at the moment you faced death. Why didn’t you say something before and avoid all the trouble?”
   “Honestly, I couldn’t. It wouldn’t let me, forced my brain not to tell my mouth and voice to say that it was there… Something about the agonizer booth must have disabled that part of it. For that fact alone, it was all worthwhile.”
   “Indeed. Now, tell me, what was your payment supposed to be for delivering the stolen technology?”
   “I guess there’s no harm in telling you now. Power absorber panels, designed to fit on my ship, an advanced tractor beam system, and a rework of our power grid to support the panels, including advanced batteries and power flow conduits.”
   “I thought that the systems were incompatible?” Blood asked him.
   “For us to use them and have them function properly, yes, that is a true statement. For them to install it on our ships and use it, well, they said it would work, and if not they would compensate me for my time and troubles with any one of those ships out there that I chose.”
   “Interesting,” Mohab looked at the pirate in the eyes with a cold hard stare. “How many were there when you were last here? And how long ago was that?”
   “There were three hundred ninety-five, and almost two months ago.”
   “There are four hundred seventeen now… They’ve been busy. What do you know of this stasis technology that they are using?”
   “I don’t know. All my crew and I could figure out was that it uses a butt-load of energy. The mine we used on your ship was fashioned after they discovered the Klingon version of this field. They deemed it a failed project and let me have the last three that they had as a down payment for services.”
   “Sir!” K’Tal interrupted. “They have locked onto us with a tractor beam.”
   “Fight it… Helm, evasive!”
   Talon looked down at his arm as a strange tingle began to form. “Intruding vessel, you have one minute to turn over Talon and our technology before you are placed in stasis. We have heard everything and know everything that Talon knows. Submit and it will be less painful.”
   “We are being pulled back into one of the empty stasis berths. Maximum energy is being fed to reverse tractors, unable to break lock on.”
   “Helm is not responding, switching to manual… Nothing sir.”
   “Engine room,” Mohab ordered, depressing a button on the right armrest of his command chair. “Full warp speed now!”
   “Sir!” the engineer’s voice replied. “This tractor is too powerful! We’ll be torn to bits!”
   “Then when we get out of this you can file a complaint! Give me everything you got, NOW!” The ship whined in protest, and then began to scream.
   “Sir!” sounded the engineer’s distressed voice. “That is all I can give you!”
   “Microfractures beginning to form along the outer hull,” K’Tal interrupted. “This tractor is too strong!”
   “Stand-by for emergency boom separation!” Blood shouted. He leapt from his chair and ran to the engineering console. “All personnel in the engineering section report to the boom, thirty seconds until separation!”
   “Belay that!” Mohab shouted back, “engine room, emergency warp shutdown, now! Talon, where is the tracker?” Talon pointed to his right forearm. He braced himself for what he knew was coming. Mohab produced a very sharp and wicked looking dagger from behind his back, and in a quick motion sliced deeply into Talon’s arm. Red blood flowed freely from his arm onto the deck, followed shortly by a small electronic device. Mohab bent over and picked up the device and spoke into it, “You want this ship? You want our secrets? We’ll give them to you, send us the frequency and release the tractor beam if you want Talon alive.”
    “You have seen more than we can allow. You will be added to our collection. Transmit all data on the frequency provided and you and your crew will be spared death.”
   “K’Tal, send the program!” Mohab ordered, dropping the device and crushing it beneath his boot. “Now, stand-by for boom separation! Doctor to the bridge!”
   “Virus program sent. Sir, we are now caught in two more tractor beams. Boom separation will get us nowhere!”
   “Weapons?” the pirate captain asked. He looked at his bleeding arm and then out the view screen. “Never mind. There isn’t time.”
   Mohab turned to question him, and fell into silence.
   The robot boarding party entered the silent ship. Moments before, the vessel had been fighting for survival, full of life and alarm. Now, the ship was quiet, the crew in stasis, and the robots moved freely among them. They slipped quietly into the main bridge and shoved the crew out of their way. The tall Vulcan female fell to the deck with a soft thud. The lead robot extended a probe and began interfacing with the computer. He sent a signal to the framework to release the stasis on the vessel but not its crew. The computer came to life and the lead robot began to access the data files and downloaded the information it sought. Another signal confirming retrieval was sent, and the ship resumed its silent sleep. A blue-green flash illuminated the bridge as the robots were beamed away.

Czar "More soon" Mohab
US Navy Veteran - Proud to Serve
Submariners Do It Underwater - Nukes Do It Back Aft - Pride Runs Deep
Have you thanked a Vet lately?

Subaru Owners Do It Horizontally Opposed!
Proud Owner - '08 WRX - '03 Baja - '98 Legacy

Offline Scottish Andy

  • First Officer of the Good Ship Kusanagi
  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 1086
  • Gender: Male
  • New and improved.
    • Starbase 23
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2007, 03:29:10 pm »
Ooooh, that was unexpected. There heroes have fallen! We just have to hope the other heroes get there and manage to free them. Eagerly awaiting the next episode.
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

2288

Offline Governor Ronjar

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 830
  • Gender: Male
  • 'None Farther...'
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2007, 05:13:15 pm »
I don't think I blinked once while reading that...

You tell most of the story through dialogue, which I may have commented on before, and it flows very swiftly.

And I loved the 'fly casual' remark!

keep 'er cumin'!

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Commander La'ra

  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 2435
  • Gender: Male
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2007, 09:23:02 am »
Not bad at all.:)
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 564
  • Gender: Male
  • Chewie - Go jiggle the handle!
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2007, 06:42:34 am »
Starting to get crazy... and by Thunderbolt I am referencing the unmade Star Fleet PF (from SFB) and not the Federation's destroyer class of the same name.

         Marcus sat in his vibrating chair, watching the view screen and the Agamemnon as they raced towards the destiny coordinates at warp eight. Agamemnon wasn’t as fast as she used to be, and with all of her improvements, the power consumption ultimately slowed the vessel. Marcus didn’t mind too much, the slower warp speed allowed him to enjoy the now bearable vibrations and get a good massage out of the deal. “Extreme long range scanners detecting something,” Mindy broke the silence, “I can’t make it out exactly, but it appears to be… big.”
   “How big is it?” Marcus replied, swiveling around to face his tactical officer. The thought never really occurred to him that the bridge crews, despite being all civilian, were his officers, until now.
   “Well, ginormous would be a good word to explain it. It registers a power curve that goes off the charts.”
   “Eric, can you help and recalibrate the charts?” Marcus turned to face the engineering console.
   “I’ll do what I can,” the engineer replied. Standing up, he added, “Could you join me at the science station?” Marcus stood up and the pair went to the science station at the aft of the bridge.
   “Shane,” Marcus spoke as Eric sat down. “Contact Agamemnon, would you?”
   “Channel open,” the communications man spoke.
    “Admiral George, here,” the cat’s voice sounded over the bridge speakers.
   “Admiral,” Marcus started. “We’re picking up a rather large installation with a power curve we’ve never seen before. I know you’re sensors are not as far seeing as ours, so we are going to patch you through to what we have.”
    “I appreciate the gesture, but we are just now picking it up for ourselves. We’ll take the sensor link if you wish, perhaps to share data?”
   “Consider it done. Glad to see you back in the big seat. General Lee out. Mindy, get Sandra and Ben up here, go to yellow alert.”

   “Commodore Mohab to the bridge!” the cat started. “Yellow alert, mister Edwards. Helm, stand by to take us out of warp.” George stood silently in the middle of the bridge, arms folded behind his back and tail twitching. He hated the fact that on this ship, any chair that he might sit upon, there was nowhere for his tail to go. A serious design flaw in his mind, but then again, the only cats that served in Star Fleet were pets.
   “Sir,” Edwards said from his tactical panel. “Sensor data from General Lee indicates over six hundred vessels being held in suspension. One Andromedan Battle Station is located at the far end of the field. No visible activity from this range.”
   “Any way to pinpoint where the power is coming from for the array?” asked Commander Patricia O’Neil, the ship’s executive officer.
   “General Lee is working to recalibrate their sensors to find it, ma’am.”
   With a swish of turbo lift doors, Jacob entered the bridge. “Any good news?”
   “No,” the admiral replied. “A lot of not so good news, though.”
   “Flagg, drop us to warp one, take us over that center prong, there.” Jacob pointed at the screen, and took the center seat.
   “Aye, sir,” the helmsman responded. “Helm answers warp one.”
   “General Lee is following.”
   “Thank you mister Edwards,” George responded. "Commodore Mohab, you have the bridge.”
   “If you insist,” Jacob replied with a smile. “You were doing such a fine job.”
   George’s eye caught something on the screen. He moved closer towards the giant viewer and gasped, “Great Maker… They’re there!”
   “Who’s where?” O’Neil asked.
   “Jacob! Your father’s ship! I’d recognize it anywhere, and its here!” George pointed at the screen almost frantically with a clawed finger.
   “Edwards?” Jacob asked.
   “Vessel scans as Klingon, charlie seven class. Standard phaser and drone mounts, two disruptor mounts, two photon mounts… Unable to determine ship’s name or registry… wait… Mercenary Vessel Mohab’s Death Giver. No life sign readings, but several life forms on board. Sirs, the stasis field is messing with the scanners.”
   “Fair enough. Flagg, take us over that ship. Edwards, can you target enough of the berth there to disable the field and free that ship?”
   “I’m pretty sure I can.”
   “Moving into position now,” Flagg added.
   “Firing phasers one and two. Mooring linkages disabled.” The tactical panel screamed a warning at him. “Sirs,” he said a bit shakily, “We have incoming. The station was hiding them from us, but one Intruder class and one Dominator class are now visible. Moving very slowly towards us, less than… Sirs, this is odd, neither vessel has engines powered, no crew signs, nothing.”
   “Red alert mister Edwards,” O’Neil ordered.
   “I’m going to take a shuttle and a small crew of volunteers to your father’s ship,” George said above the wailing of the alert klaxon. “Cover me, and I recommend you deal with the threats out there before coming after me. I’ll blow the stasis generators locally.”
   Before he could move off of the bridge, Marcus’s voice broke through the noise. “I know you too well, brother. I know you found our father’s ship and are probably going to send in a rescue party. We’ll cover any shuttlecraft that you launch, lets you and me put an end to the Andromedan threat in this galaxy. Launching a full squad of Thunderbolts and four fighters.”
   “How did you get Thunderbolts?” Jacob asked his brother. “Star Fleet never made any.”
    “No time to explain now, lets just leave it at we had some spare time and some spare parts while out on the trail. Having the designs didn’t hurt either.”
   “Admiral, I believe you have a shuttle to catch?”
   “Indeed I do. Thank you for the cover Marcus!”
    “No thanks needed. Just get going. Jacob, our scanners are picking up increased power from the Andromedan ships. They may automated as a defense for the base since, well, there aren’t many Andro’s around anymore. We’ll take the bigger…”
   “Negative, Marcus. Let’s take them together.”

   The two warships took off towards their target, while a tiny shuttle and its ten escorts began to target and disable the stasis field holding the Death Giver captive. Several small explosions later, the shuttle signaled to the ship to open it’s main shuttle bay doors and began to land. The shuttle’s escorts peeled off to join in the battle that was soon to ensue. Death Giver was slow coming out of stasis and the shuttle bay door was barely open enough when George’s shuttle landed. With a hiss of escaping atmosphere, the shuttle’s door opened and emitted its crew. “Two to the engine room, two to the auxiliary control room and two with me to the bridge,” George started. He was cut off by the slow wail of the ship’s alert klaxon.
   “I…n…t…ruder… ale…rt…!” spoke the ships computer as it woke from stasis. “Intruder alert main shuttle bay!”
   “The crew will be reviving soon, so lets get to work and get this beast moving!” George and his two volunteers made their way to the main bridge, but slowly. Many parts of the ship were still in “wake up” mode as they traveled, hindering their progress. But eventually they made it to the bridge.
   The sight there was slightly horrifying. An unrecognized human stood almost in the way of the rescue team’s entry to the bridge, frozen still in stasis, clutching his bloodied right forearm. On either side of him stood two burly humans, what looked to be security, also frozen. Standing near the bleeding human was Czar Mohab himself, and George paused to take an admiring gaze at him.
The turbo lift doors shut slowly, emphasizing that the ship wasn’t yet fully awake from its long slumber. George extended a soft-furred paw to touch the Czar’s face. “Sir,” one of his technicians interrupted him. “Computer is still coming online, but it looks like someone accessed it at the time it went into stasis.”
   “Very well,” George replied, and stepped over to the engineering control panel, where he found Commodore Blood. “Excuse me, Commodore,” the cat said silently, and pawed the Klingon gently out of his way. “Engine room, report, please.”
   “Jennison here sir,” came the female tech’s voice. “They initiated an emergency warp shutdown. It was in progress when they went into stasis. We are unable to stop it, but we should be able to restart the mains in about five minutes, maybe ten to full power. All other power systems are available.”
   “Very good,” George pointed to one of his techs. “Take the helm and move us clear of the berth.” George strode over to the tactical panel. He paused a moment and picked up the fallen Vulcan, and propped her on the aft bulkhead. He continued his trek to the panel and poked a few buttons. “Ship is on-line,” he said to no one in particular. “The crew should be rousing shortly…”
   “What do you mean there isn’t time?” Mohab asked. “Who the hell are you?” he asked, turning his attention to the Kzinti manning the tactical station. “And what are you doing on my ship?”
   “Admiral Brown Tiger, Kzinti Hegemony, at your service sir,” the cat spoke, and disabled the intruder alarm. “We’re here to rescue you. You can call me George.”
   “I didn’t expect to see a Kzinti,” Blood snarled. “But I am honored for the rescue.”
   “The honor is mine,” George started, “and you are right sir, there isn’t time.”
   “How many of you are there on board?” K’Tal asked, retaking her station.
   “Six humans from Agamemnon, and myself, sir.”
   “My old ship?” Mohab asked, surprised.
   “Sir, there isn’t time right now.”
   “Sir, our virus program failed,” K’Tal interrupted. “Two Andromedans and two Star Fleet vessels are engaged in combat…”
   Jenkins, the helmsman, pushed the tech aside and resumed his post. “We are clear of our berth and moving on impulse only.”
   “Very well,” Mohab said, retaking his command chair. “Talon, get to sick bay, and see if you can’t find what happened to the doc. K’Tal, is there any way to retransmit the virus program?”
   “It appears that it was stopped by the stasis field. Fascinating, I can see where it stopped in transmit. We would have to send it directly to the base itself.”
   “I’d recommend freeing some of these ships,” George started, “your sons will need all the help that they can get.”
   “Not yet,” Mohab sighed. “We can assist in a better way.”

   “Sandra, get to the battle bridge,” Marcus spoke in a frantic hurry. “All hands stand by for tactical saucer separation.”
   “On my way, sir,” the executive officer replied, and headed towards the lift.
   “Targets are on a program,” Mindy started, “reading transmissions from the Andromedan base… still no life signs on any Andromedan vessel.”
   “It has to be a self defense program. Once the two sections are clear, power down our phasers to minimal and start using sensor channels to jam those transmissions.”
   “Targets are focusing their attacks on Agamemnon.”
   “Because they don’t know yet what to make of us. Hail the Agamemnon and have them break off and regroup with the Death Giver, we can hold these two. Helm, once we’re stable, take us towards the base.”

   “Sir!” cried the voice of Josh Peterson, the communications officer. “General Lee ordering us to disengage and regroup with Death Giver. Message ends with ‘We can hold these two’.”
   “Very well, comms,” Jacob replied. The bridge shook again as yet another phaser hit struck the weakening shields. “Mister Edwards, fire all available weapons as we turn away.”
   “Helm,” O’Neil interrupted, “bring us around for one more pass.”
   “Sir!” Edwards shouted “General Lee has performed emergency saucer separation!”
   “Hah!” Jacob replied “Clam down Edwards, they meant to do that.”

   “Sir, Agamemnon disengaging from battle and heading towards us,” K’Tal reported.
   “What is the status on the warp drive?” George asked.
   “Engine room reports they are restarting now, sir.” K’Tal moved her hands like lightning over her panel. The image on the view screen changed to the Andromedan base. “Sirs, unidentified vessel has begun jamming the base.”
   “That would be the General Lee,” George stated calmly. It was odd to him that finally he was given the chance to sit in a chair with a space for his tail, and he didn’t really want to. The proffered chair was really Blood’s, and it would be disrespectful to take it. He watched in silent awe as the Klingon remained at the engineering console.
   “Admiral, sit please,” Mohab ordered the cat. “You’re making me nervous. K’Tal, can you send the virus program yet?”
   “As soon as we are closer, the jamming will cause interference.”
   “Helm, make best speed to the station, warp speed when it’s available. George! Sit, please!”
   George sat finally, beside his long time hero, and soaked up the moment. “Your sons, Marcus and Jacob, followed the instructions that you left for them. And I will have something for you when the time is right.”
   Mohab looked at the cat, but didn’t speak. Stars outside streaked as the ship accelerated briefly to warp. Blasts of red phasers licked at the front shield and rocked the ship. “K’Tal?”
   “General Lee saucer section moving in and distracting the base. We are in range, sending program… Base received program…” Her panel beeped a warning, and on the screen, the station began to tremble. “We are reading massive power fluctuations from the base. Main reactors on overload…It is going to blow, sir.”
   “Helm, get us the hell out of here!”
   “Initiating, ‘getting us the hell out of here’ maneuver,” Jenkins replied.
   “General Lee saucer moving away,” K’Tal reported. “Agamemnon is following us out.”
   “Get us clear of everything, this is going to be one big boom,” Blood said.
   George sighed silently in the seat. He closed his eyes and extended ten sharp and deadly looking claws from his fingers, and dug them deep into the armrests. He reached out with his mind, touching the station and the ships. The battle outside froze, stars stopped streaking, and calmness permeated the ambiance of the bridge. “And now my gift to you, great sir!”

   “Alpha Four disabled, sir!” Mindy cried out. “Patrol Three destroyed, Patrol One is tractoring Alpha Four back to the barn.”
   “Are we in range for transporting the life pod from Three?” Marcus asked.
   “We are, lowering shield four, transport successful. Sensor channels two and four powered, commencing jamming.” On the view screen, the two Andromedan warships shuddered. The drive section of the General Lee moved in towards the larger of the two, striking it with six overloaded photons and a full salvo of phasers, a hit that would devastate a normal vessel, but the Andromedan took the attack and asked for more. With its attacker distracted, the Intruder moved in towards the saucer, and fired at the closest of the small patrol ships. The shot caused the small ship to explode in a brilliant flash, and the Andromedan kept moving. “Sir, Patrol Six destroyed.”
   “No satellite ships…” Marcus commented. Before he could finish his thought, the two Andromedan ships stopped suddenly in place. “Wow, we got lucky, the program must have run out.”
   “Death Giver moving towards the base, Agamemnon is following.”
   “Continue jamming the station, if they are going to do what I think that they are…” His words were interrupted by the sight on the screen. Death Giver never faltered on its course towards the station, while taking a full salvo. In a short moment, the two ships turned away. “Ben?”
   “Looks to me like they sent in a virus program,” the science officer said calmly, and then with a little more alarm, “stations going to go, and soon, better get clear now.”
   “Move us away, best speed!”

   “Now we sit in silence,” George started, “Trapped in the moment between moments.”
   “Okay,” Mohab replied. “What have you done?”
   “My people used to claim this sector of space, before the Andromedans moved in.”
   “There’s never been any evidence of Kzinti explorations out this far, let alone settlements.” Mohab looked around the bridge, everything was frozen, the lights, the crew, everything, except him and George.
   “You may have guessed by now that I am not truly Kzinti.” George paused a moment to regain his concentration. “Most of our race has evolved past using these shells, these bodies… We traveled the stars, free from form, as energy and as thought…” He paused again, and clamped his eyes shut. “Holding so much is tiring,” he commented through clenched teeth. “We must hurry. I took this form so I could maneuver myself to your side. Admiral Brown Tiger is no more than a farce.”
   “I don’t understand, if you can stop time, why couldn’t you destroy the Andromedans here?”
   “We had no ships, and no way of directly interacting with the Andromedans… They destroyed the first ones to return here, and stole our home world, our technology. You were the only one,” George paused and gasped with the struggle. “The only one we noticed that knew of this place. I had to help you to destroy the installation, had to help everyway I could.”
   “You can control time, so why not just stop time here and take them apart?”
   “We tried, but the base…” George screamed. “The base was blocking us, using our home to power their stasis… our stasis generators. They kept us away, until now. We started this collection, and it was our mistake...” On the screen, everything that was to be seen stuttered, and George winced in agony. “Soon, my people will return, they will assist me, in sending you back.”
   “How far back are you talking here? What if I like it here and now?”
   “Forty-five years… We can control time that much… But this time you must not fail, there will be no second chances… Send the virus as soon as you arrive!”
   George’s voice faded, as did the space outside. General Lee, Agamemnon, the station, everything faded to nothingness. “Your final gift from us,” George’s voice sounded in his ears, distant and dreamy, “is your memories. Serve us well.” The cat’s voice faded, and the bridge returned to normal, forty-five years prior.

 Czar "grrr... 20000 again..." Mohab
US Navy Veteran - Proud to Serve
Submariners Do It Underwater - Nukes Do It Back Aft - Pride Runs Deep
Have you thanked a Vet lately?

Subaru Owners Do It Horizontally Opposed!
Proud Owner - '08 WRX - '03 Baja - '98 Legacy

Offline Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 564
  • Gender: Male
  • Chewie - Go jiggle the handle!
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2007, 06:43:18 am »

         In a burst of blue-green light, the mighty battle cruiser emerged from the network and came to an almost abrupt stop. Before them was the largest collection of galactic vessels ever amassed. The sight spread beyond view, and to the very edge of the ship’s sensors. It was, indeed, a very impressive sight, and at the far end sat a lone Andromedan base, watching everything in its silent gaze.
   “No Andromedan vessels currently on scanners,” K’Tal reported. “At least, there are no combat capable vessels. There appears to be several dozen small vessels tending to the collection.” She paused a moment and reviewed her instruments, and touched her screen to recalibrate. “All galactic vessels are in some form of stasis. Power readings are off the charts for the stasis field.” Her panel beeped a warning. She bent closer to the source of the alarm. “Sir, Dominator class vessel emerging from the network, putting it on screen.”
   On the main view screen, the image of the sleeper fleet faded and was replaced by the fading blue-green ring around one battered and nearly destroyed Andromedan warship, towing a Romulan vessel. The pair of ships swept over to the mass of other vessels. The Andromedan dropped its prize and turned around, and in a blue-green flash reentered the network. The Romulan vessel turned and attempted to flee, but was quickly enveloped in a tractor beam, and began a slow pull towards an open berth. “Oh, my…” Mohab started as he recognized both of the vessel’s markings. The memory of George and his dying request sprang to his mind. Was it all a dream? he pondered. No time to find out. “We’re on our own. K’Tal, prepare the virus, and prepare the holographic technology for sending. Imbed the virus in the programming.”
   “Sir?” K’Tal asked. “Are you…” The voice of the ship’s universal translator cut her off.
     “Intruding vessel, identify,” the bridge speakers chattered in the voice of the universal translator.
   “K’Tal, put me through on our translator circuit,” Mohab said.
   “Com line is ready, sir.”
   “This is Captain Talon of the Mercenary Vessel Death Giver. We have your package, and we are here to deliver.” Mohab waited for the translator to do its job as it had before.
    “This is not the vessel you left in nor is it the same as you said you would arrive in. State your reason.”
   “This vessel attacked us and we captured it. We lost the Stolen Dreams in the battle.”
    “Very well, Talon. We read your tracking device as active. We detect no deception. Proceed to base; your payment will arrive shortly.”
   “Negative, base, we, uh, lost control of our helm going through your network. We’ll send along our package anyway, but from here. My technicians tell me that the damage is repairable, and we can meet at your base in twenty earth-minutes.”
    “Unacceptable. You will proceed at once…”
   Mohab smiled as he interrupted the Andromedan speaker. “We are sending the information now.” He motioned for K’Tal to send the program and cut the transmission. “If they want the technology, they’ll have to open the virus…”
   “And boom!” Blood interrupted.
   “Yes, boom today, not tomorrow…”
   K’Tal’s panel beeped a frantic warning. “Sir…” On the screen, the station began to tremble. “We are reading massive power fluctuations from the base. Main reactors on overload…It is going to go ‘boom’, sir.” Her panel beeped again, in a more urgent manner. “Several Andromedan ships are leaving the area near the base… They will not escape the blast…” Her words were cut off as a bright white flash consumed the screen, brighter even than what the auto-filters could filter out. The nictitating membranes on her eyes allowed her to see through the haze, and a very human word escaped her mouth, “Sh*t.” She used her superior speed to manipulate her panel, rerouting helm controls and raising the shields. Escaping the shock wave was impossible, but turning the ship into the blast, she knew, would be their best chance for survival.
   White faded into bright blue as the wave enveloped the vessel. Massive shock waves caused the hull and bulkheads around them to shudder and whine in protest. Dust fell from the overheads and most of the bridge crew fell over in the shock. “We have turned into the wave, shields came up in time,” she shouted over the din. Death Giver made full use of its Klingon bird-like lines to ‘fly’ through the blast. When the shaking stopped and the crew recovered, there was silence amongst the stars...

Czar "Thanks for reading" Mohab, who notes that there is more..
US Navy Veteran - Proud to Serve
Submariners Do It Underwater - Nukes Do It Back Aft - Pride Runs Deep
Have you thanked a Vet lately?

Subaru Owners Do It Horizontally Opposed!
Proud Owner - '08 WRX - '03 Baja - '98 Legacy

Offline Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 564
  • Gender: Male
  • Chewie - Go jiggle the handle!
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2007, 06:17:49 pm »
here endeth the epic !


   “There was a time,” the soft voice in his head began, breaking the silence in the inky darkness, “when we wondered when you would come. This won’t hurt; I am going to probe your mind… There it is, as I suspected.”
   “Who are you?” he interrupted. “What are you doing?”
   “We are the beings that you have saved, good sir. I see that one of us has contacted you already. Part of him shall always be with you now.”
   “So now I have one of you in my head? Forever?”
   “You make it sound as if it is a bad thing. But yes, he will remain with you, studying you, learning from you and your actions. It is our new way of things. He will never harm you, nor will he interfere in your life.”
   “Your new way of things? What do you mean?”
   “When we transcended, we began to explore other places, other species… When we first began to encounter others that could travel the stars, we needed to be sure that there was no threat from them. We captured their vessels and released those of the crew who would not volunteer to be apart of our testing.”
   “You mean voluntold?”
   “Actually, no, we never told them they had to stay, never forced them. The option was return to their homes, or live in a virtual paradise, where we could study them. Most opted to stay, and those that did not were returned to their homes but their memories of us erased.”
   “And what of us?”
   “We could not capture you. You saved us, and for that we owe you a great debt of gratitude. The one you called George, the part that is in you, tells us that your kind values life. We haven’t been in the minds of many humans. He tells us that we are to adopt this new approach, that we should share ourselves with you. It is, as I said, quite harmless.”
   “So, you’re saying that all those ships out there were captured by your people?”
   “No, don’t be silly. The installation that you destroyed was captured from us, by those terrible beings. They enslaved some of us, killed others, and used our facility for their own vile acts. Our collection had only amounted in thirty-two vessels, and was near capacity for what we had constructed. They built more than we had ever envisioned. Their station was designed to use our very home as its power supply, and to that they used it to power the stasis array. We fought them as best we could, but they are different, too different for us to handle. We were losing, and because we no longer had a home, we were dying.”
   “So I saved your skin, so to speak?”
   “Yes and no. Everything that was us, was caught in the base. When you freed us in the future, our power began to return, so we could send you to where you belonged, here and now, and told you how to free us again, but this time, saving over ninety-nine percent of our population.”
   “This is confusing.”
   “I will allow you to remember everything that you need to that relates to this, so you can recall it anytime. Speak to George if you need more.”
   “Sounds like you are about to leave me…?”
   “Yes, your ship needs you, your people need you, and my people are returning home. We must now part ways. Thank you again. There is one more thing that I can do for you. You are drawn to one particular place, so I will send you and your crew there.”
   “Wait!” It was too late, the darkness faded to light, sound returned and all was returned to normal.

   “Auxiliary power off line!” K’Tal began her damage assessment report with calm alarm. “Impulse engines on-line but nonfunctional, weapons systems offline, warp power offline, shields have failed. We are on battery power only for the moment, sir.”
   “Well,” Blood replied. “We made it.”
   “Sir!” Jenkins interrupted. “We’re moving away, very fast, I don’t have helm control!”
   “Get a fix on our location,” Mohab started. He paused, remembering the dream like words whispering in his memory. “As soon as we stop moving, we should be near home.” The bridge fell silent, waiting for an explanation, and receiving none, resumed their duties.
   “We’ve stopped!” Jenkins excitedly yelped.
   “Getting a location fix,” K’Tal added. “I have an incoming transmission, audio only, putting it on speakers. Ship to ship online.”
    “I don’t know how you did it,” Nicastro’s voice boomed over the speakers, “but you managed to trip every proximity alarm and early warning sensor from here to the edge of the sector, and not be seen until now.”
   “Are you welcoming us home?” Mohab asked. “Or are you going to sit there gawking at my mystery?”
    “Bay two has room for you. And welcome home, sir!”

   Mohab sat alone in the spacious quarters provided to him. Hyperion somehow felt different to him, more quiet, more distant. It had been two moths since his triumphant return, and nothing felt the same. Perhaps it was George, still wandering around in his mind, who had spent time here in the station’s future. Or perhaps it was some knowledge of the future, knowing that he’d have two sons was a blessing, and now that he’d altered the future somewhat, felt saddened that they might not still follow the same path that they had.
   He had spent his time being an admiral, doing admiral things, things he’d rather not have done. He’d often pondered his own destiny. Had he traveled the right path? Had he done the right things? Being a Star Fleet admiral was one thing, but being in command of that one starship, no other orders except his own, that was where his heart was. He’d even gone as far as planning to steal the Death Giver and abandon Star Fleet altogether, but decided that the careers of those who would join him were more important than a selfish dream.
   Most of his free time was spent alone in the silent quarters. Julie was always away in sick bay, looking for a cure. The doctors never told her that she would die in childbirth, but she managed to come to that conclusion herself; and so far there was no other option. Her spirit forced her to never except defeat, so she spent her time researching and looking. He knew, however, that there was a minimal chance anything would work, let alone finding something in time. When they were together, he did make the most of their time. He hadn’t given up, but part of him knew that there wasn’t much time left. Often, he’d find himself weeping for her, as he knew what fine boys she’d most likely miss out on knowing.
   There wasn’t much left to do anymore, except prepare the fleet as best he knew how, and be ready to command them when the campaign against the Andromedans began in earnest. Unity would be won, had to be won, otherwise this galaxy would face the same fate as those he’d freed.

   The old man walked silently across the General Lee’s bridge, silently drinking in the splendor of the ship. On the view screen, he watched as the station’s lights winked out for the last time. He recalled many fond memories of the place, happiness and sadness, joy and pain. He shuffled silently to where his two sons stood, and wrapped an arm around each of them. In the distance, several vessels representing every race that had helped build Hyperion sat in silent vigil, watching and waiting.
   This was the place where wars stopped, where the campaign against the Andromedans began, and where peace was known. It was where the old man watched his sons be born, where he lost his wife, and his career. It was where dreams began and where spoken voices were always heard.
   Star Fleet had been gracious enough to allow him the time to tour the station before lights out, one last look at the beginning. While he was there, he felt the walls, heard voices of conversations long past, and saw familiar faces in the shadows. He wept as he left, silent sobs for the past.
   A warning beeped frantically from the tactical station behind them, but no one took their gaze off the viewer. Sparkles of light began to form around the station, and in a brilliant fireball, Hyperion was reduced to simple debris, making final salvaging easier. The old man shed one final tear before falling to his knees. “Emergency medical team to the bridge!” he heard someone shout, but he knew it was too late. He’d lived long enough, seen enough for two lifetimes, and now it was time to go. He managed to roll over on his back, but wasn’t certain that he managed it himself. Looking up at the clear bridge dome, he saw the stars one last time. Familiar faces came into his view, his sons, he reckoned. “Where’s that medical team?” the same voice cried out. Sound faded before he heard the response.
   “I’m sorry… I have to… leave you now…” he gasped with one of his last breaths. The lights on the bridge seemed to brighten, and everything faded away.
   “Czar Jacob Mohab!” a familiar voice called to him.
   “Yes?” he said, surprised he could speak at all.
   “Do you remember me? Do you remember us?”
   “Yes! George, I’m sorry I died…”
   “It was your time. We held you long enough to see the end.”
   “You kept me alive?”
   “Your heart stopped twenty minutes ago, or rather tried to. It was the least we could do for you.”
   “So I am dead, right?”
   “If you so choose, yes, we can let you go all the way, or you can join us, live with us and see all the secrets of the galaxy.”
   “My wife… I promised her I would meet her again when it was my time to join her.” The lights faded to a bearable level, and he looked at what he could of himself. He gasped when he realized he was fifty years younger. A strange sensation filled him, as he realized he’d been floating in nothingness, and was now standing.
   “Then keep your promise!” a soft female voice called from behind him. He turned to face this voice, and was met with a warm and long missed kiss. “They offered me the same, but I told them I would at least to wait for you.”
   “George, why?”
   “Because you loved each other. True love only comes once in a great while with your people. Consider it another gift from us.”
   “Then I will follow my heart, and be with my love forever.”
   George’s form, his true form, materialized before them. They stood all together as the area filled again with light. Mohab never once let go of his true love.

END


Czar "Might be last time I write about these toons, so I hope you enjoyed" Mohab
US Navy Veteran - Proud to Serve
Submariners Do It Underwater - Nukes Do It Back Aft - Pride Runs Deep
Have you thanked a Vet lately?

Subaru Owners Do It Horizontally Opposed!
Proud Owner - '08 WRX - '03 Baja - '98 Legacy

Offline Governor Ronjar

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 830
  • Gender: Male
  • 'None Farther...'
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2007, 10:07:47 pm »
Gonna have to read/comment on this one when I don't have a miagrain...

Keep posting, though!

-guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Governor Ronjar

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 830
  • Gender: Male
  • 'None Farther...'
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2007, 01:04:25 am »
Miagrain conquered, story finished. I couldn't sleep, so I came back to read. A very wild and winding tale you've woven here, Czar. It was an interesting read from beginning to it's...many endings. I like the noncorporeal beings and their gifts to the main character.

It's fulfilling to bring your main character to the end of his adventure/lifetime. We don't usually know how our real lives will end. I find it comforting to be able to map how our fictional counterparts complete their journey. And I liked this one.

Waiting for more,

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2007, 11:23:32 am »
I hate the font color you chose.  Nice story overall.  Andros did make too good of an enemy to end at Unity, neh?  Would have lliked to see more of a reaction from Mohab to the arrival of his rescuers.  Even the mention of suppressing it from his pov instead of the "no time" comments from the "Kzinti".

Yeah, I love the wrapping up of one's life.  Just like I sent Kadh off into the sunset with Blyre (well off to the galaxy the Andros came from).

Kadh, who a) is glad someone else thinks our computers are better than the Feds and b) is so going to strangle Andy for the 'meat on the bones' comment.  'Course I write sparsely.  'Tis why my serious writing goes through a couple more edits than my fanfics.
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Czar Mohab

  • Faith manages.
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 564
  • Gender: Male
  • Chewie - Go jiggle the handle!
Re: Twisted Destiny: The Mohab Epic 2nd half
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2007, 12:54:34 am »
Would have lliked to see more of a reaction from Mohab to the arrival of his rescuers.  Even the mention of suppressing it from his pov instead of the "no time" comments from the "Kzinti".

Yeah, I love the wrapping up of one's life.  Just like I sent Kadh off into the sunset with Blyre (well off to the galaxy the Andros came from).

Kadh, who a) is glad someone else thinks our computers are better than the Feds and b) is so going to strangle Andy for the 'meat on the bones' comment.  'Course I write sparsely.  'Tis why my serious writing goes through a couple more edits than my fanfics.



1.) Thought you'd appreciate the green...
2.) Reaction was an oversight on my part
3.) Life wrap-up - was trying for a "we know where he dies, and where he lives, but whats in between?" reaction; if there's interest in that area there may be a resurrection.
4.) What ever happened to the Kadh, Blyre, and the head?
5.) How can there be meat on the bones of anything handled by Klingons?
5.a.) Personally I enjoy your fanfic style, but if you add andy's meat i'd still follow it.
6.) Run Andy, run!


Czar "Rez Inc!" Mohab, who spent too much time playing those games...

US Navy Veteran - Proud to Serve
Submariners Do It Underwater - Nukes Do It Back Aft - Pride Runs Deep
Have you thanked a Vet lately?

Subaru Owners Do It Horizontally Opposed!
Proud Owner - '08 WRX - '03 Baja - '98 Legacy