Topic: Daggers in the Night  (Read 17539 times)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #20 on: December 06, 2007, 12:22:47 am »
In another week, you'll likely have more.  Was working on it this week, which is why the race is late. ;D
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Hstaphath_XC

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #21 on: December 06, 2007, 01:33:22 pm »
More!!

Though I agree wholeheartedly (I really like what La'ra is doing with this one), I would also say the same thing to you in regards to your Derelict story.   :D
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Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2007, 01:41:23 pm »
I concur with the motion of "MORE!!"

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2007, 01:55:57 pm »
First scene of Chapter Three is ready...figured I'd go ahead and post it. ;D

------------------


Chapter Three



The odd sensation of being transported faded away.  La'ra's nose wrinkled, his hand moving to cover his nostrils.  The smell of urine and rot dominated the grimy alley.

"Great Kahless..."  Leral spat from behind him.  La'ra snarled.

"Report!"  He growled.

There were other Klingons in the alley.  Six Marines, dressed not in uniform but clothing and armor that might be used by a mercenary or House-warrior, stood in securing positions.  La'ra's group had followed once they'd declared the landing site secure.

"No threats in the area, Commander."  The lead Marine informed.  Ensign K'tal, his rifle held at a casual ready.  "No observers...no life signs for some distance."

La'ra nodded.  "Good."

"What is that horrid stench?"  Leral asked.

"Corpse behind the trash receptacles."  K'tal gestured.  The warehouse they'd materialized behind looked disused.  So did the waste bins.  Most of the garbage here was lying on the ground.  "Crushed skull."

"Indoors."  La'ra snarled.  Marines sprang up from their defensive positions, stood ready at one of the warehouse's entrances.  The door yielded without too much effort, the armed and armored Klingons rushing through, weapons at the ready.

The warehouse was still littered with crates, most of which had long since been torn open and scavenged.  The metal walls bore streaks of rust, the dust almost as oppressive as the odor of decay in the alley.

"Finally, a worthy stronghold from which to plan galactic domination."  Leral quipped.  La'ra chuckled, and even K'tal grinned slightly.

"It'll work for the next few days."  La'ra declared.  He looked to one of his team, a young petty officer burdened with communications gear.  "Pick whichever spot you want, Woram."

The younger Klingon nodded.

"Shall I arrange ground transportation, sir?"  One of the Marines asked.  Klas.  A n'er-do-well who'd been sentenced to service.

"Be discreet."  La'ra warned.  Klas sighed as if he'd been mildly insulted, and headed for the exit.

The Commander looked about.  Windows had not been on the architect's priority list, but he thought he saw some outside light coming from what had probably been the overseer's office.  He trotted up rickety metal stairs.

The office had been mauled terribly by many someones.  Aged graffiti adorned the walls, and piles of dried material La'ra chose not to identify were heaped in the corners of the room.  There was a black mark on the floor, probably the result of a transient's warming fire.  There were windows, though.  La'ra could see the city.

The sky was barely visible, stars obscured by the grimy dome  that protected the settlement from a poisonous atmosphere.  A magnetic rail that'd once been a path for high-speed trains wound it's way between long-abandoned warehouses.  Even the permacrete on the connecting streets were cracked and rotting.  In the distance though, there were the peaks of tall buildings.  They seemed obligatory.  No doubt most of what really went on the city occurred in bars, basements, and hidey holes.

Somewhere in this cesspit, there was a particular hidey hole, housing a particular woman.  His data had been clear on that;  the daughter only rarely shipped out with her father.  She'd be here, at the Andorian's 'home port'.  La'ra wondered how much protection she'd have.  It didn't matter, really.  He was here to watch her, not to accost or abduct her.  He didn't like taking hostages.

"Commander."  Someone called.  Leral.  He exited the office, gave her an interrogative look.

"Worams set up.  We can raise the ship whenever you wish."

La'ra nodded and headed down the stairs.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2007, 06:29:39 pm »
Very, VERY excellent detail!

Want more of same!

--thu guv!
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Offline kadh2000

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #25 on: December 07, 2007, 08:36:37 am »
Kadh, having had a dead critter that he had to remove, can testify to the stench of death. 

Everyone around here is doing a nice job with the imagery lately!  No combat, no real adversity, yet a good piece. 
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2007, 02:09:06 am »
Nice 1 mate! I like the pictures painted
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #27 on: December 10, 2007, 09:11:28 am »
Too short. Post more.

You've already been Hsta'd, you want to get K-Fo'd? :D

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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2007, 07:58:27 pm »
As I said to you in my review (and I'm surprised no one else commented on it), I love this line:

Quote
"Finally, a worthy stronghold from which to plan galactic domination."  Leral quipped.  La'ra chuckled, and even K'tal grinned slightly.

With the imagery of the previous decriptions, this is the perfect line. Bravo!
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Offline kadh2000

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #29 on: December 12, 2007, 01:39:20 pm »
Yeah, I remember getting a chuckle out of that line, too.
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Hstaphath_XC

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #30 on: December 13, 2007, 11:12:52 am »
Too short. Post more.  You've already been Hsta'd, you want to get K-Fo'd?

The stories on the board have been so good lately that I've been breaking out of my normal lurker mode to actually comment.

Writing parody is completely different from writing fan fic so I often don't feel qualified to critique.  However, I know what I like and this is certainly one of my favs right now... this from a Hydran who would normally hellbore a Klink on sight!   :D
Hilaritas sapientiae et bonae vitae proles.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #31 on: December 20, 2007, 05:42:33 am »
Still working on Chapter Two over here.  While Roger's right about how I tend to be in the winter (snoring), I'm trying to get some work done.

And hell, Hsta, you've never posted on one of mine before...therefore I shall now do the unthinkable and give myself a...deadline.

I'm giving myself a week to post something new on this...may not be huge...but it'll be something.

I hope.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #32 on: December 20, 2007, 02:29:42 pm »
I wager the odds as...

60/40 against...

 :angel:

--guv
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Offline CaptJosh

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #33 on: December 21, 2007, 02:23:13 pm »
Nit to pick. "Worams all set up"

You mean "Woram's all set up" as in Woram is, not that there are multiple Worams who are all set up.

That said, excellent story so far. I always appreciate La'ra and co.

And I love the line about a perfect place to plan galactic domination.
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Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #34 on: December 24, 2007, 12:07:37 am »
Would the one week self imposed deadline include a possible (early) Christmas posting? Man, if everyone posted a Christmas post, I could have a great workday and a great Christmas on the same day!

Czar "Hoping for a well written Christmas" Mohab, who wishes he got paid everytime he wrote "Christmas"... $1 each would be ok...
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #35 on: December 24, 2007, 10:42:42 pm »
Nit to pick. "Worams all set up"

You mean "Woram's all set up" as in Woram is, not that there are multiple Worams who are all set up.



Actually...it's all a part of Ran'jar's [note the 'a'] cloning experiment. They built new Worams to supplement the work/fodder force...

--guv!
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #36 on: December 26, 2007, 03:12:46 am »
The scene is tiny, but I did say I'd post something.  The scene after this is about half-written, but it'll probably be a couple days before I can finish up the chapter.

-----------------------

"He has yet to appear."  Ran'jar's voice was punctuated with crackles and fizzing, the by-product of scrambled comms.  "As expected."

"Should take him a while yet."  La'ra agreed.  He stood in the corner of the warehouse Woram had chosen as the communications area.  The Petty Officer had found a table to set the system on, had scrambled up to the roof to erect an antenna.  The bulky equipment was not necessary to talk to the ship in a normal fashion, but allowed a nearly intercept-proof signal and high-quality coding.  "We've found a...suitable base of operations.  We'll proceed as planned."

"Understood."  Ran'jar replied.  "Do you want the merchandise now or later?"

La'ra considered.

"Later.  We've used the transporter enough already."  The Hiv'laposh had entered the system in near-stealth configuration, warp field adjusted to seem like something other than a Klingon battlecruiser.  Now she sat motionless, in the shadow of the world's moon where it'd be unlikely that anyone could make a visual inspection.  The behavior would be suspicious in most systems, but not Korsham.  They'd detected four other ships using similar methods on the way in.  "No need to make anyone...curious."

"We'll let you know when he arrives."  Ran'jar promised.  The transmission ended.

"Comm, shelter, vehicles on the way."  Leral was standing nearby, leaning against the wall.  "K'tal is making the defensive arrangements."

"Yes."  La'ra growled.  They'd need the vehicles to start their hunt, and once they were on the prowl, they'd have to be delicate in their attempts to locate the Andorian's spawn.  All that meant waiting, patience, which were not to the Commander's preference.  Leral, he noted, had a sort of desperate eagerness in her eyes...

"What?"  He asked.

"We're just...waiting, right now, Commander.  Would you mind if I put together a..."  She glanced around the abused warehouse.  "...clean-up crew?"

The Commander blinked, then laughed loudly.

"Permission granted."
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #37 on: December 26, 2007, 03:26:18 am »
Well, that "clean-up crew" bit seems funny to me, I mean, Klingons cleaning up? Must be worse than I imagined in the warehouse.

Not much more to comment on at the moment, it was a post that a.) gave me something to read, and b.) left me with a better feel fro what is going on. But then there is c.), must have more!

Czar "MORE MORE MORE" Mohab

P.S. Thanks for the holiday posting.
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #38 on: December 26, 2007, 03:56:03 am »
Well, that "clean-up crew" bit seems funny to me, I mean, Klingons cleaning up? Must be worse than I imagined in the warehouse.

Though I didn't want to come right out and say it in the story, I wanted Leral to do something stereotypically feminine. ;D
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Daggers in the Night
« Reply #39 on: December 26, 2007, 01:51:49 pm »
Nice...but my 60/40 against still stands.

I am left only wanting more.

--guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.