Topic: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use  (Read 1464 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

762_XC

  • Guest

Offline Sirgod

  • Whooot Master Cattle Baron
  • Global Moderator
  • Vice Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 27717
  • Gender: Male
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2005, 10:43:17 am »
 ;D ;D ;D

That's too funny.

Stephen
"You cannot exaggerate about the Marines. They are convinced to the point of arrogance, that they are the most ferocious fighters on earth - and the amusing thing about it is that they are."- Father Kevin Keaney, Chaplain, Korean War

Offline F9thDigi

  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 154
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2005, 01:32:05 pm »
This is hilarious...

http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html


Shhh!  Here's a little hint.  I work with a major international market research agency whom among otherthings (certainly in the US) use telemarketing.  The first question is basically recruitment qualification.  They'll ask you what you do for a living.  If you mention you work in advertising or you're a journalist the interviews over.  God I hope my company doesn't find I told you guys this :)

Offline Iceman

  • 1st Lieutenant
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 997
  • Gender: Male
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2005, 03:05:49 pm »
Good to know.
I believe this belongs to you. -Commander Sheehan to Imperial Captain Smithy
"Wedge, it's amazing how deceptive you can be without actually lying." -Tycho Celchu

Offline drb

  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 330
  • Gender: Male
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2005, 07:38:54 pm »
Hoi 762,

 Yes it is funny, but something tried to install itself on my computer when I checked out the link.

When I came to Toronto, my wife got a job at a bakery, they changed ownership without notifying or paying the staff. I soon after got a job washing dishes in a kitchen of a family restaurant. The owner/cook served bad shellfish. When I threw some bad muscles in the garbage he hit the roof. I told him they were bad. He asked how I knew. I told him. he started putting all his muscles in freshwater to store until cooking; this is not good. He also dropped food on the floor, picked it up and continued to cook it and serve it. I left that job.
 I did give in after this, as needs were pressing and went to an outbound call centre. There are very few times when I say the word hate, fewer still when I use it to describe my feelings, this job was something I hated.

  I did my best to know the product, be polite, clear, get their names right, and most importantly I was honest. People stated time and time again that they were going to do the free trial just so I could get the sale. Other times I refused to make the sale. The whole time I tried to focus on the fact that I was given a chance to talk with people all across Canada. I had many conversations that started with me answering the question,"Where are you calling from?" with answering, "Toronto," but adding I was not from Toronto in a way they would understand, what ever other region they were from. If I called out East, I totally threw the script out the window and got caught up with news from back home, all the while confirming that Toronto was no place for a lad like me. When I called folks who could actually use the service we were selling, I crunched the numbers with them, walked through their specific project to see if they could actually use it for awhile. My best times were with War Brides, again no script, I would tell them why I'm calling, but we both knew that I wasn't going to sell anything so we talked about other things, they were always happy I could talk about the UK like I have been there once or twice. There are so many good people out there.

 In the call centre we were treated like criminal cattle. The dialer, at the call centre, called 30 000 thousand people on Christmas Day and Boxing Day, starting at 9am. Noone was fired.

Many telemarketers could not care less for who is picking up the phone on the other end, they hit the mute button and,

***
My neighbour has just borrowed one of my hammers.

Needless to say; it is a good time to pause, have a smoke, resist turning up the radio.

I should have lent him a level, tape measure, and a pencil as well. He missed, twice.

***


I really do not have the ability to go on about the bad things that happened at that job. The hammering has pounded the desire to relate hateful things out of me. I was taken on for a new campaign, was part of the small group that set the way for a few hundred others, became the "call-back agent," and then the editor of the campaign. I quit. As an editor I was aware of a min of 1000 complaints called in for every 4500 sales. That is to say everyday, not including the Christmas mess. Before I left, I had interacted with hundreds of call centre agents, thousands of Canadians, and visitors over the phone, wrote dozens of coaching procedures and did the best I could do at everything, no matter what it was that was put before me.

I wish the industry did not exist. I wish telecommunications and other broadcast media were used more wisely. In the meantime please just hang up, and write a letter to your government.

Take care

drb
« Last Edit: September 06, 2005, 08:59:14 pm by drb »

Offline AlienLXIX

  • XC Wench missing her Ferret
  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 1195
  • Gender: Female
  • Some Days . . .
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2005, 02:50:43 am »
I worked one and only one day as a telemarketer.  I couldn't stand it.  How ever later on I got a job doing telephone surveys.  That was fun and it was no pressure.  It's been years but it still tickles me that there were a few guys that wanted my number just because I sounded hot.  LOL  One even asked if I wanted to get married!  Poor lonely guy . . .  Though there were times were I did feel bad about taking up so much of their time esp the farmers.  My gods those took HOURS!  And was made worse if they had many diffrent types of crops and if they used diffrent types of weed killers or insecticides! 

Hello, my name is Amy calling from Issues and Answers.  Tonight I would love to ask you questions about the service you have received from your AT&T credit/calling card!
 ;D
And on and on. 

Hey it payed for diapers and baby food since the current husband at that time wanted to blow most of his money on WarHammer Miniatures.  f*cking Bastard! >:(
Aloha,
AlienLXIX


:whip: I am a freak and no one can stop me!  MUAHAHAHAHAHA!  I've got a Ferret to spank!

I am not a bigot, I just hate people on an individual basis.

The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life. - President Teddy Roosevelt

Offline Dizzy

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 6183
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2005, 07:09:33 am »
... current husband at that time wanted to blow most of his money on WarHammer Miniatures.  f*cking Bastard! >:(

Ah Hahahahaha!

Offline Mackie

  • Puu jok' unhoittaa juurensa, kaatuu.
  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 1389
  • Gender: Male
  • The tree that forgets its roots, will fall.
    • stupidfusion
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2005, 10:22:58 am »
ah! theres a finnish version of it... will prove most useful >:}
http://www.stupidfusion.com
________________
"Integrity is doing what is right even when the outcome is already known."

Offline Mr_Tricorder

  • 3D modeler /animator
  • Hot and Spicy
  • Lt. Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 1040
  • Gender: Male
  • Trekkie at Large
    • My myspace page
Re: Got a telemarketer on the phone? Here's a script YOU can use
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2005, 08:27:08 am »
I am paid to make phone calls to high school juniors and seniors to try to get them to attend a program called "Spend the Night with the Corps" for the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M.  This is definitely the best program we have for high school students interested Texas A&M and the Corps of Cadets, but the job, since it's one tiny step up from being a telemarketer, sucks.  I would gladly have someone read me this script rather than have someone jerk me around and then say they weren't interested, curse at me, or just hang up.

Normally we call off of a list of students that have expressed some interest, usually by responding to a mail-out, in the Corps of Cadets or at least in A&M.  However, during this past summer, we ("we" as in "the people in charge", which does not include me) purchased a list of names (but no phone numbers), so we paid another service to match the names with phone numbers.  At least one third of  the numbers were wrong or disconnected, and only about one tenth of the people I actually spoke to were even remotely interested in Texas A&M.  So esssentially, the people who are in charge paid twice for a list that sucked.  I wish someone asked us lowly callers about it before this idiotic decision was maid, but then again, I don't get paid enough to think independently.

One of my friends quit this job at the end of last spring because all of the "extra money" went towards beer so he could get over how depressing this job was.  He decided to quit the viscious cycle and now has about the same amount of money (or lack there of), drinks less, and has more free time.