Topic: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles  (Read 21081 times)

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Offline CaptJosh

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #60 on: January 26, 2007, 08:03:04 am »
I thought I recognized that reference. I love the Dune series.
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Offline Andromeda

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #61 on: January 26, 2007, 01:25:13 pm »
I liked the first book a lot, thought the second was just as good.  I didn't really like Children of Dune and found the ones after that to be entirely forgettable.  I haven't read any of the new ones written after his death.  I really liked the lampoon Doon though.
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #62 on: January 26, 2007, 08:49:32 pm »
I read Dune when I was 13. Might have to re-read it to remember much of it. I still watch the movie though, but not the new one from Scifi Channel. That one bored me to tears... I bought it, but only watched it once.

I later read Then up to...Dune Messiah, I think. Have to agree with Rommie about her review of them.

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Offline Scottish Andy

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Chronicle Eleven
« Reply #63 on: July 19, 2008, 11:34:16 pm »
Surprisingly enough, no I haven't been watching, reading or downloading the news. I just remembered the episodes at the beginning of BSG(R) Season 3, when the Cylons had occupied New Caprica. I just remember being horrified with the XO, and this scene was playing out in my head as I did my dishes tonight.

Lemmie know what you think.




2294

“No! I absolutely, categorically, and expressly forbid it!” I roar at my junior officer.

Gamal rocks back on his heels, his ears almost literally pinned back. The others of our group look similarly surprised by my vehemence. I rub my eyes and regard the young officer. His ‘bright idea’ is just not going to happen, but I need us all on board if we’re going to manage our night-time escape from the ISC planet we’re trapped on. Our covert raid failed and now the resupply depot’s garrison is aware of and looking for us. There’s only one way back to our shuttle, and an enemy encampment is blocking our route.

“Lieutenant al-Rahhbi, that is a direct order. Now, are you going to obey it, or do I have to place you under arrest?”

Under arrest? Are you out of your mind? Sir,” he hurriedly appends.

I let it slide. I’m trying to get a very fundamental point across and don’t want it sidetracked. “Look, Lieutenant, there is absolutely no way in Tellar’s Seven Hells that I will ever accept that offer from anyone. Get it out of your head right now, and that’s an order too. I am not ordering you – any of you – to your deaths.”

“Sir, I’m volunteering! And if we don’t get out in time the rearguard you’re ordering to remain will—“

“—face the possibility they will die or be captured,” I cut him off, not quite agreeing with him. “But if we do get out, everyone comes home.”

“My way is far more effective and will almost certainly result in far fewer casualties or injuries on our side!” he continues to argue.

The thought occurs that I should stun him just to shut him up, but we have time for a lesson so I decide to give him one. “You’re arguing with your captain to get him to let you go blow yourself up,” I remind him cuttingly. “That’s stupid on two levels; you’re being insubordinate by disobeying a direct order to let it go, and you’re still arguing to be allowed to blow yourself up!

“Sir! Request permission to speak candidly, Sir!” he snaps out.

“Sure, we may as well make it official. I want this understood by everyone, people: this is not just for Gamal alone. You will hear why this will never happen under my command or within my influence, and then it will never happen or be discussed again as a legitimate tactical option. You all tracking that?” I bark.

My crew all nod or offer species-specific analogues. Gamal is the expected exception.

“Sir, I am not at all eager to lose my life, but I am willing to sacrifice myself if it will protect my crewmates and friends and allow them to escape. How is this any different from what you’re planning?” he demands in frustration. “My way will ensure the enemy cannot stop us. Doing it your way risks us being under fire all the way out if the rearguard is overrun!”

“You want to know the difference?” I yell into his face. “Okay, here it is: This is all about motive and intent. Your suicide bombing is all about taking as many enemy lives as possible and deliberately setting out to kill yourself while doing it. It’s all about death and destruction, and that is not how the Federation or the Star Fleet does things, and it sure as hell isn’t the way we do things under my command! I will sooner stun you and drag your stupid carcass back to the ship myself than allow you to stay and ‘volunteer’ for such a morally repugnant and wasteful act,” I blaze at him.

“Sir, I protest! You have no right to treat me this way!” Gamal fires back. “I offer you an alternative to your plan and you question my intelligence, my Oath—“

I stare the young idiot down. He’s arguing his commanding officer in a crisis situation so he has no leg to stand on. However, he’s in my crew and I am not in the habit of leaving people behind. He subsides, simmering.

“My rearguard action is all about saving as many of our lives as possible, with the hopes that if we get out in time, the rearguard can also be saved! It is all about life and hope, because where there is life, there is hope and that is what the Federation and Starfleet are all about, God-damnit!! When you have no hope you are beaten and just waiting to die. Equally, when you are that willing to give up your life you are a danger to those around you.

“We may not be able to rescue the rearguard. They will have to make a choice then; fighting to the bitter end or surrender. If they surrender they will still have their lives and their hopes of either being rescued, escaping at a later date, or being released.

“Have you got that? Is it penetrating that where there is life, there is hope? As soon as you give up that hope you’re a dead man anyway. Are you that eager to die, Lieutenant?”

“No Sir!” he snaps back, furious. “But I will do what I have to and what I can to safeguard the lives of my comrades, and I strongly and formally protest at your impugning my intelligence and questioning my motives!”

I reign in my temper. It’s running too hot and he’s right. I’ve overstepped. Trying to cool off, I nod. “You are correct, Lieutenant. I formally apologise for impugning your character.”

He doesn’t really look that mollified. Oh well.

“You do realise, don’t you Lieutenant, that I’m arguing to save your life too? That you are included in my ‘everyone makes it home’ plan? I don’t consider you expendable, Lieutenant. Maybe you should stop seeing yourself that way too.”

I think I’m getting through to him. He’s not immediately shouting back, anyway, so I take that as a hopeful sign. He’s a bit hard to read through his anger.

“We are not Klingons, Sto-vo-kor-bent on dying gloriously. The situation will never be that dire. And even if it ever does, this is not that situation. Your ‘alternate plan’ is rejected, Lieutenant. My orders stand.”

“Very well, Captain.”

He looks as if he’s swallowing what he wants to say, but he’s finally acting like a Starfleet officer and obeying his captain’s orders. Bloody took him long enough. I get back to the planning business at hand: the survival of all of us.



I'm not happy with the ending, but the surrounding scene was hard to engineer. All I had was the immediate argument, and TI think that probably shows.

Thoughts, comments, and suggestions are welcome. If you have an idea for a better wrap around, that'd be good too.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2009, 12:54:27 am by Scottish Andy »
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Offline Tus-XC

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #64 on: July 20, 2008, 12:14:42 am »
the only critque that i can think that could possibly make this better  is what is the condition of the LT at this point in time, wounded, what?  I can't see why he would be so willing to kill himself to save the others unless he was pretty injured or had been shocked into this thought process.  Outside of that it read well and while i have some minor issues w/ the progress of the arguement, it is reasonable enough to me to be believable.
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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #65 on: July 20, 2008, 02:03:12 am »
Thanks for the reply, Tus, it is much appreciated. To answer your question, the young Lt. is perfect health.

After an extended discussion with Larry, I've realised that this piece is flawed. As I state in the intro and outro, this was a rant that popped into my head from a BSG story arc, and I wanted to vent my own spleen on it. Since I do this in a Trek setting, I had to develop a scenario to match the BSG ep, and here I failed.

The captain's rant (for a rant it indeed is) is almost unaltered from what went in my head while doing the dishes. However, the situation is different and, most importantly, the young Lt. is not the hate-filled XO of Galactica battling occupiers. I tried to write him as more "gunning for the enemy" than noble, in like with Tye, but "the kid", as Larry calls him, is a Starfleet Officer and he wouldn't let me write him that way. :)

So, in summation, we have the Captain ranting against the XO of the Battlestar Galactica, and this poor kid wondering what the hell he just stepped in front of. :)  As such, the whole scene suffers so I'm going to deep six it. The whole point was the rant, and it didn't quite work. Maybe I'll use a different situation, or have Jaeih use it in her Dominion War arc. ;)

If you feel differently, by all means let me know and tell all what's on your mind. Did it work for you? If so, how? if not, how?

For now, I'm off to bed. (mutters something about staying up too damn late again and wondering how he managed to "discuss" away another 3 hours...)
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The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline kadh2000

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #66 on: July 20, 2008, 10:30:54 pm »
I like it and wouldn't remove it.

Why? 

Because it's another great example of people being human in ST.  It's nice to see Starfleet Officers not being perfect.  Scott Bennie was the master at this and I find this example to be in the same vein.  Yeah, it's jarring.  Yeah, the guy who got ranted at didn't deserve it, but it's good to see the boss man having a really bad day and needing someone to blow up at.
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Chronicle Seven
« Reply #67 on: July 20, 2008, 11:30:27 pm »
I just remembered the episodes at the beginning of BSG(R) Season 3, when the Cylons had occupied New Caprica. I just remember being horrified with the XO, and this scene was playing out in my head as I did my dishes tonight.


It does figure that you WOULD be horrified with my favorite character of the entire series...

--guv

PS: It's Colonel Tigh
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saul_Tigh
« Last Edit: July 20, 2008, 11:52:58 pm by Governor Ronjar »
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #68 on: July 21, 2008, 07:34:36 pm »
Nothing to say on the actual scene though Guv? And while Tigh is a good character (oh and thanks for the link; I've now had the ending to the series spoiled. You killed Kenny!) he is not a good person. :)
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The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #69 on: July 21, 2008, 09:53:09 pm »
No, nothing particular to say about the scene. You yourself said pretty much anything I would have thought. Taken with or without those thoughts, it's not a very realistic scene unless you read more into it than what's described, and make the assumtion Kadh does. Which is a stretch.

--rog
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Scottish Andy

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« Reply #70 on: April 22, 2009, 01:36:19 am »
Denied sleep tonight after being in bed for 2 1/2 hours for the express purpose of catching up on my sleep, I got back up and decided to try writing before making another attempt at sleep. Unfortunately, my mind -- desperately craving sleep -- was not up to it, so I re-read some of my old stuff. Among them, my Chronicles. There's several of them in my Word file, lying barely started or incomplete, and some of them are pretty damn good even if I do say so myself.

This one, written apparently right after my failed 'BSG Rant' attempt, seemed pretty complete to me, viewing it months or even a year later. I don't remember what inspired this particular one -- it's been too long -- but it seemed pretty much done as a short chronicle. So, I decided to post it for your delight and delectation and to say something worthwhile came out of my lack of sleep which will be incredibly debilitating tomorrow.

I've tried to come up with a good ending (the last few lines only) for this, and we'll hopefully hear what you think of it.



2275

“Everyone has their price, Starfleet,” the Orion told me, stating it without heat or sneer. He believed in it as a matter of fact, as a cornerstone of his very existence. “In some it will be riches, in others their cherished morals. But there does come a point for everyone where their desires or needs must be satisfied and they will pay whatever it takes, in whatever coin they possess.”

There was no arguing with that level of certainty. I didn’t bother wasting my breath.

“What, no words of defiance?” he asked, affecting a shocked countenance. “No pretty, flowery words about never giving up, never surrendering to the inevitable?”

I tuned him out. Words would have no impact on him and neither did I want to entertain him by playing to his notions. I concentrated on the task at hand.

F’deraxt’la! Talking to you!” he called again moments later, obviously just trying to needle me and not really caring if I answered or not.

Karskat fool,” I chided him mildly. Nothing needles certain types of people more than being taken lightly. “If you still think Humans have three biological parents then you really are as stupid as you appear to be.” Maybe I could at least educate him on xenobiology.

I heard the metal clamps I’d managed to wrestle the monster into creak as he exerted some force on them. I hoped the merely iron cuffs would hold against his two gravities-bred strength and 130 kilo mass. It had taken a considerable amount of physical effort coupled with surprise – and a couple of stun blasts for good measure – to put the Orion down. I rather doubted I’d be that lucky again.

“Your crewmates will do it, you know.” Again with the dig, but his own tone was a bit less playful. Maybe I should just stun him again, save myself some aggravation, but it pleased me that I might be irritating him far more than he was me.

“They’ve been ordered to do it, you karskat fool,” I repeated my curse. More creaking. I guess he didn’t like me using the Andorian word for ‘misbegotten’ when referring to him. “They’re Starfleet. They understand the concept of self-sacrifice so that others might live. We live, and sometimes die, by that code. Something your entire karskat so-called ‘culture’ knows nothing about.”

My mild tone was really getting to him. It still amazes me how much it does to so many different peoples. I’ve used it countless times to great effect.

“Oh yes, so very noble, little f’deraxt’la,” he sneered. “And what does it do for you? Gets you killed for nothing. You do not benefit your line, gain no influence, exert no influence with such acts. They are pointless,” he concluded dismissively.

“Stopped you from supplying high-tech weaponry to both sides of a war and getting fat and happy from the misery of untold millions, didn’t it?” I murmured with relish.

“Bah. Someone else will merely take the opportunity you denied me.”

I turned to face him. “Not on my watch, pal,” I smirked. “There’s going to be enough bloodshed with their own projectile weapons. There is no way in all the Hells of all the species that ever existed that I’m letting anyone escalate that with hand-held disruptors.”

“You can’t be here all the time, statorfleet,” he returned nastily. “You and all your tislin friends, always scurrying to deny the natural order of things. Supply and demand is all there is, little mammal. When some want, others will provide. Your pointless laws and regulations deny this very basic foundation of the universe, and you wonder why people still break them.”

“Just because you can do a thing, it doesn’t follow that you must do that thing,” I fire back.

“Why not?”

The simple puzzlement in his voice spoke volumes.

“Your sibling wants a disruptor to kill himself. Do you provide that disruptor?” I ask rhetorically. “Or do you talk them out of ending their own life?”

“I have no siblings.”

I shake my head and blow out an exasperated breath. “Great Bird preserve me from the literal-minded.”

“Praying to your ridiculous deity will not change anything, statorfleet,” the Orion retorted disdainfully. “And your analogy is pathetic. Any being truly wanting to commit suicide will find a way; this is so even in your ‘so-called culture’.” He took great relish in parroting my words back at me. “Your ship will bend to the circumstances; circumstances engineered by my will. Even if I do not make my sale to the Kazarians, the sale of your ship and crew will more than cover my losses. Enjoy your freedom while you can, Human. It ends soon.”

I tuned him out again. If there’s one thing in the galaxy I could rely on it’s the captain of the Cortés . Regardless of what this goon thought, she’d come through for me. I just had to be ready for her.

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The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #71 on: April 26, 2011, 03:21:04 pm »
*self-indulgent BUMP*

No thoughts on that last chronicle? Anyone?
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The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

2288

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #72 on: April 27, 2011, 07:06:45 am »
Didn't get the notification untill the bump, or either I missed the mail. Anyways, back on topic: I like it, especially that fact that the bad guy still is not convinced. I really hate it when ppl completely committed to their way of live see the errors of their ways after a few words. I've seen the like but rarely in real live, I assume that being an alien does not change that.

Oh and I like seeing something from you here again! 

Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #73 on: August 09, 2012, 03:00:45 pm »
*self-indulgent BUMP II*

My thanks to Grim for commenting, but nothing from anyone else on that last Chronicle? I thought it was pretty good, and I want many others to pat my back for me.
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The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #74 on: April 06, 2013, 06:17:33 pm »
Eep. No comments yet despite two previous bumps.
Okay, a final try. Third time lucky, as they say.
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The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Captain Sharp

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #75 on: April 14, 2013, 09:05:19 pm »
Never saw that post at all, tho such isn't surprising considering I forget this site exists for years at a time.

Anywho, not a whole lot there to comment on. Good writing, of course, as yours always is. Beyond that, naw, sorry, my mind draws a blank.

--guv
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Offline KBF-Frank

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Re: Star Trek: The Andy Chronicles
« Reply #76 on: April 15, 2013, 10:15:52 pm »
Reading  :) and waiting for more