Topic: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply  (Read 17347 times)

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Offline atheorhaven

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Wow, there's a thought..

R-emo-ulans.

"When I think of Romulus, I cut myself."  Wow.  Just wow.  I really didn't want to go there..

..ooOOoo..totally useless information..ooOOoo..

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Offline Lepton

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Not enough bashing in this thread so here goes:

1.  How does a supernova threaten the galaxy?  Bad science and/or poor explanation as to why in this case it should.

2.  Black holes are not gateways to the past.  While there are such theoretical postulates as Einstein-Rosen bridges or more commonly wormholes, there is no particularly reason to believe passing through the event horizon of the singularities in this movie would do anything but crush the hell out of anything that found its way into it. Frankly, I think the authors were afraid to get too technobabbly and offer something up more like a spatial-temporal rift as found in "Yesterday's Enterprise".

3.  If one drop of the red matter created such a powerful singularity, what the hell happens when a giant ball of the stuff does what it does?  Shouldn't there have been some insane super-giant black hole created right smack dab in the middle of our own solar system???  Way to go, guys, you just screwed the whole Federation.  Plot hole you could drive a truck through.

4.  The red matter is frigging JJ Abrams' frigging floating red ball thing that was seen in Alias in another form.  Recycled much?  And what the hell kind of name is red matter?  Are we too stupid to have it called super-duper graviton particles or some such??  Again, avoiding the technobabble.

5.  Why the hell did they have to destroy Romulus and pretty much the whole Romulan empire?  Isn't this pretty much the same crap they pulled in Star Trek VI with the destruction of Praxis essentially spelling the end of the Klingon Empire?  Doesn't anything bad ever happen the Federation?  Biased much??

6.  Why does the inside of the Enterprise look like a factory and not a space ship???  Because it is a frigging factory!!!!  That's the set they used for interior shots of engineering levels!!!!  You'd think with all the money spent that they could have at least gave us some sets that looks like they are the interior of a faster than light ship.

7.  Why does the bridge look so much damn different than every other part of the ship that we see?  You've got this crazy bubble-gum machine, IPod bridge and the rest of the ship looks like an industrial park??!!  Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

8.  What is up with that Romulan ship??  It looks like some black frozen space squid corpse!!  When I see a Romulan ship, it better look like a frigging bird!!  It can look like an insane bad-ass bird, but it needs to look like a bird, not a spiky space turd.

9.  What's up with that frigging Romulan ship??  Yes, I design all my mining ships with vast empty dark spaces and randomly placed platforms that are conveniently easy to jump to in some movie climactic fight!!!  Most ridiculous ship interior ever.  Again, so much money spent on this film, where are the amazing sets for all that dough??

10.  What is up with that Romulan ship??  Yes, I like to have open pools of standing water covering the deck around all sorts of electrical equipment, and I like to stand in them while interrogating prisoners in my prison interrogation chair that I have on my mining ship.  Save the drama for your mama. Do something, show something that makes sense.  Silly, silly overdramatic nonsense.

11. Apparently, the only mathematical training the Vulcan children receive revolves around the area, volume and/or the circumference of a circle/sphere.  Do they really think we are that dumb or are they trying to make us feel smart or something by placing these recognizable equations in those scenes?  Is that the extent of the writers' mathematical knowledge??  Geometry/Trig???  Weak sauce.

12. Could Zachary Quinto looked more uncomfortable kissing a woman?  When Spock kissed a chick in TOS, she got kissed.  That was some weak, weak romance in those scenes.  Zoe Saldana was good in those scenes but my god was Quinto seemingly out of his depth.  I didn't mind the relationship but its execution in the movie was poor.

13. Could Kirk's troubled bad-boy to superhero transition be more cliched?  Is this Top Gun/Good Will Hunting?

14. Why, oh why, is there a finale scene at the beginning of this movie?  The first 5 to 10 minutes of this movie are practically the best scenes in the movie.  The Kelvin, George Kirk's sacrifice, etc.  Frankly, I spent all my emotional energy in those beginning moments of the film.  After that, it was pretty much just the roller coaster ride.  A weird choice that left me with very little energy to actually care about any of the characters.

That's all I got for now.  More to come later.


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Offline FPF-AJTK

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The movie was very good, IF you have never heard of Star Trek.

As for the new ship model, "Akira-prize" anyone?
RE-VER-SE: To move backwards, retrograde; movement that is not forward in nature.

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Offline knightstorm

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Well, since I finally saw a bootleg of SR, I can give this abomination the bashing it deserves

1. The Kelvin which is supposed to be a cannon ship doesn't quite fit into cannon.  The crew is too large, and the crew are already wearing the Enterprise delta.
2. I didn't enjoy the toilet humor in the bar
3. Starfleet Academy must not be very selective.  From the conversation between him and Pike, I gather that Kirk had run ins with the law, but he not only gets into the academy, he does so within a short amount of time
4. They built a ship with a &*()&ing propeller
5. That whole thing with the computer not understanding Chekov was just stupid
6. Why didn't they bring any phasers with them when they dove onto the drill platform?
7. Once more, why do the Romulans need Spock's help.  They use $#%%ing artificial black holes to power their ships
8. Why was everyone just standing there while Spock went medieval on Kirk
9. Spock maroon's Kirk in a blizzard on a planet with giant predators, and doesn't even leave him a hand phaser
10. Why is Kirk constantly addressing Spock as "Spock" and not sir when Spock outranks him, and they are not friends?
11. What was up with Scotty's midget sidekick
12. Why does the Enterprise have water turbines?
13. Pike seemed a little too interested in Kirk
14. Considering the fact that Vulcans have had a spaceborne society for centuries, how come getting their homeworld destroyed left them with a population of under 10,000.
15. McCoy's bringing Kirk on to the ship was even more of a juvenile prank than I thought it would be.
16. Simon Pegg ruined my favorite TOS character

Seriously, this film was worse than Nemesis.

Offline Nemesis

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Seriously, this film was worse than Nemesis.

I resent that.
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Offline FCM_SFHQ_XC

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7. Once more, why do the Romulans need Spock's help.  They use $#%%ing artificial black holes to power their ships
The Vulcans had the red matter, the romulans did not.
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Offline knightstorm

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7. Once more, why do the Romulans need Spock's help.  They use $#%%ing artificial black holes to power their ships
The Vulcans had the red matter, the romulans did not.

But why would the Romulans need Vulcan red matter to do something that they have already been capable of doing for decades.

Offline EmeraldEdge

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Because the people writing the story needed them to?

Here's a thought (if they didn't have forehead ridges, I guess there's always cosmetic surgery) Romulans could have infiltrated the Vulcan science directorate and been smuggling red matter off planet for some time.  Then the supply ran dry so they had to exist off of current stock and by the time of the movie they didn't have any? lol.  I still haven't seen the movie, but after quizzing my Aunt who liked it (but was clueless as to so many aspects of Trek, despite watching TOS) she started asking "Yeah, hmmm, I don't know how that worked" and "Wow... yeah, that really didn't make sense...". lol.  Movie good, ships go boom!

Offline FCM_SFHQ_XC

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7. Once more, why do the Romulans need Spock's help.  They use $#%%ing artificial black holes to power their ships
The Vulcans had the red matter, the romulans did not.

But why would the Romulans need Vulcan red matter to do something that they have already been capable of doing for decades.
I could speculate a few reasons.
1 possible is the methods the romulans use is too inefficient for larger scale black hole creations, which you'd need here

another is a recent war(not yet mentioned) left them decimated resource wise, and they were unable to deal with it at the time. Similar to the destruction of the klingon mining colony Praxis in ST6 that would leave the klingon empire nearly crippled in dealing with any emergency situation.
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Offline TAnimaL

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Like all the plot holes mentioned above (and others not), the most common answer is just sadly' "because the writers needed them to."

To add to the list, there's the magical/stupid transporter. It can be used to beam onto a target TRILLIONS of miles away travelling MILLIONS+ miles per second, but if a woman falls at a crucial point DURING transport, she's toast. (Just moments earlier it was used to grab "Kirk" and Sulu whiule they were falling at 100+ mph with no problem)

I don't know which is sadder - the fact that it's a "dumb" ST film, or the fact it's going to be the biggest hit ST movie. I feel like it's ST4 all over again - that it's NOT what ST was (or can be) but yet the masses are loving it. I haven't watched ST4 again in almost 23 years, I don't own a copy on VHS or DVD and I never will, andI 'll most likely never want to own ST 11 either.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2009, 10:06:09 pm by TAnimaL »

Offline knightstorm

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Not only is the Enterprise now built on land in an effort to take away elements which distinguished Star Trek from lowbrow scifi, but instead of being built in San Francisco, a city which was chosen for its strong naval tradition, it is now built in Iowa.

Offline EmeraldEdge

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That's because in this timeline, San Francisco was never able to recover from it's overspending on social programs and sank into a massive ghetto where all the deadbeat aliens live in shanty towns made of scraps that the Federation casts off, because it's humane to let them have the scrap metal that they build their shanty towns out of.  They like it. All manufacturing/commercial business (which doesn't exist in Trek because they've grown beyond that, and all those dilithium miners just do it because they like to dig) had moved inland to the 'heartland'. ;)

Offline Centurus

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DEATH TO JJ ABRAMS!!!!!!

I doubt that San Francisco would be a slum in the 23rd century, in the real Trek timeline or JJ's afterbirth of a movie.  By Kirk's time, Earth is a paradise.  No disease, no poverty.  It was the capital of the Federation after all.  Hell, even in Archer's time San Fran is clean.  But I digress into a topic that's been heavily debated over the years.
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Offline FPF-DieHard

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #33 on: August 21, 2009, 03:26:46 pm »
kirk banged a green broad.   That alone is worth 3 stars.

Trek was the best movie of the summer by far.
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Offline EmeraldEdge

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #34 on: August 21, 2009, 04:40:40 pm »
Ok, I haven't seen Trek yet, but I tought District 9 was pretty darn good.  Better than any other movie I saw this at the theatre this year.  Best movie of the summer? 

Offline Corbomite

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #35 on: August 21, 2009, 04:48:18 pm »
kirk banged a green broad.   That alone is worth 3 stars.

Trek was the best movie of the summer by far.

Can I have some of what you're smoking?

Offline FPF-Tobin Dax

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #36 on: August 21, 2009, 07:48:26 pm »
kirk banged a green broad.   That alone is worth 3 stars.

Trek was the best movie of the summer by far.

Can I have some of what you're smoking?

He was about to but Uhura walked in... ::)
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Offline Kreeargh

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #37 on: August 22, 2009, 12:44:03 am »
Well, it looks like Abrams has succeeded in raping Star Trek to death. :'(

HA HA HA HA :laugh: Rape? more like an OBAMA-nation of it ? :huh:
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Offline Corbomite

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #38 on: August 24, 2009, 08:46:49 am »
Ok, I haven't seen Trek yet, but I tought District 9 was pretty darn good.  Better than any other movie I saw this at the theatre this year.  Best movie of the summer?


It had a couple of plot holes, but it was very good. I can see the sequel now:

Distwict 10 - The Rewenge of Wikus!

Offline Centurus

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Re: The bash Star Trek XI movie thread. Pro Trek XI posters need not apply
« Reply #39 on: August 26, 2009, 04:50:58 pm »
*finishes wiping butt on the last copy of the Trek 11 scripts*

I remember when Jason Alexander was roasting Shatner.  He made a comment about ST5, or as he called it, "Star Trek 5: The Death Of A Franchise".

However, I can see it now.  Star Trek 12: The Idiots Have Invaded Trek.

If they make a Trek 12, which I'm sure they are, I hope Q pops in, says how much he misses Picard, snaps his fingers, and wipes the Abrams Bastard Universe from existence, restoring the original timeline, and pestering Picard again, holding it over his head that he saved Picard again.

Oh well.

*tracks down the writers and model designers of the movie and tries to show them pictures of Joan Rivers and Andy Dick mating*
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