Topic: The Continuing Kitten Chronicles:“He raped you?!?!” “Well… yeah…at first maybe..  (Read 2262 times)

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Offline Clark Kent

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The Continuing Kitten Chronicles: “He raped you?!?!”  “Well… yeah…at first maybe…”


OK, so it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these.  For those who remember, way back when I first got Saber (or bastard cat as he is sometimes referred to), I would post stories about how he was adapting to life with me.  Well, I figure I’m a bit overdue, so here is the latest installment of the Continuing Kitten Chronicles:

A few months ago, I was contemplating getting a little friend for Saber, since he was spending a bit too much time alone (in my honest opinion), since I would be out the door at 6:30 AM and get back as late as 8:00PM, and all he had to keep him company was NPR. 

Looking back, I suppose there were a few signs that he was craving attention: piles of newspapers that he had dragged out and spread over the ENTIRE apartment, occasionally using the ironing board to catapult my iron from the dining room to the living room, chewed up electrical cables (that were plugged in to the wall at the time) and a surprising number of teeth and claw marks as evidence that he really wanted a taste of whatever prescription medications I had left in the bathroom cabinet, and my oh so favorite, climbing in to my clean laundry basket to take a tinkle.  Also, when I actually was around, he had taken to doing canon balls on my face again in the middle of the night.

Sufficed to say, I felt like he might like a playmate, someone to keep him company, as it were, so I began looking into finding the perfect companion for him.   Had my heart set on a white cat with a pink collar named Devastator.  You can imaging then, how fortuitous I felt it was when a friend of mine told me that he would like to give me one of his three cats, who had been having difficulty adapting to the noisy, hectic lifestyle in his household.

I had actually not seen her much in the last couple years, because she was so timid and skittish.  So much so that he named her Hidey.  In any event, I was a tad surprised when I showed up to Pick up Hidey to find this mangy little black and white furball that was roughly the same size and shape of a basketball.  “she hides all day, and only gets out to eat late at night when the dogs are locked up, so she overeats,” my friend explained.  So I smiled as I picked up Hidey’s kennel and almost yanked my arm out of it’s socket in the process.

It took a few days, but Hidey adapted to my much quieter apartment while saber was kept locked in the bathroom while I was gone.  Eventually I weaned him on to her.  He would hiss, and follow her, but quickly learned that I would not tolerate him being abusive to her.  Her demeanor changed and she changed from being fearful and timid to sweet and affectionate (but the little lard ass never lost an ounce).  Saber, as I had hoped became less anxious, more relaxed and cuddly.  Before long, Saber was in the habit of cuddling with Hidey and sleeping by my side every night. 

All was good, with one caveat: Saber had taken to humping.  Early in the night especially, as I was trying to get to sleep, he would chase her around the apartment, making a terrible racket, I would hear him tackle her over and over and she would hiss and spit and kick him away, and when I had enough I would chase him off, all would be quiet for a short while and then he would do it again.

I personally am very disappointed in Saber.  I would have thought that I had given a better example to him as to how to treat a lady.  OK, so Hidey isn’t a lady.  She’s more like that really overweight trailer trash girl who you can never tell, is she giving me the bedroom eyes, or thinking of twinkies and Ho-Hos, but still, the concept is the same, right? 

Finally, one night, I had had enough, at the first sign of trouble, and hissing, I leapt out of bed, and spent the net 15 minutes chasing Saber down until I had caught him.  Once caught, he knew he had gone to far and went limp, knowing that if he tried to fight his way away from me it would be all the worse.  I tossed him in his little porta kennel, threw the kennel into the (empty) bath tub, and locked the bath room door. 

Content, I went back to bed, my heart still pounding from the excitement, but content that I would finally be able to get a good nights sleep.  10 minutes passed, I was beginning to calm, when I heard it.  A soft scratching noise coming from the bathroom.  It was against wood.  “no friggin way,” I thought to myself.  “He’s locked up in his kennel, there is no way that he is scratching on the door, I must be hearing things.”  The soft scratching continued, becoming slightly more urgent.  Finally, I heard Hidey’s soft ‘mew’ coming from outside the bathroom.  She called to him longingly while I buried my face in my pillows.

How the hell could this happen?  For weeks I had been trying to protect her honor from that little bastard, but it was finally sinking in: not only did I have a misogynistic little pig of a rapist cat, but the other one LIKED IT!!!  What a dirty little ho!  I don’t know whether to get her a new chew toy, or little leather kitty bondage gear…
CK

But tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or fix this hole in a mother's son?
Can you heal the broken worlds within?
Can you strip away so we may start again?
Tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or cut this rope and let us run?
Just when all seems fine, and I'm pain free, you jab another pin,
Jab another pin in me
-Metallica

Offline TheJudge

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awwwww, how cute.  She was just playing hard to get.  :)
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Offline Vipre

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:notworthy:  I don't know what more I can say.
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Offline Dracho

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You never know.. she could have hear him screaming in kitty language to be let out of the bath tub, and she was trying to get in and drown him before you relented.   ;D
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Offline Just plain old Punisher

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Chairman Meow likes to bump on my balls when I'm sleeping.


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Offline Centurus

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Chairman Meow likes to bump on my balls when I'm sleeping.



*raises an eyebrow*  And I thought my cats are weird. 
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Offline Clark Kent

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Saber tried attacking mine a couple times, i think hitting the wall a couple times let him know that was unacceptable behavior (instinctual reaction, promise)
CK

But tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or fix this hole in a mother's son?
Can you heal the broken worlds within?
Can you strip away so we may start again?
Tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or cut this rope and let us run?
Just when all seems fine, and I'm pain free, you jab another pin,
Jab another pin in me
-Metallica

Offline Centurus

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Well Clark, your cats seem perfectly normal.  Now if both cats were male, and one was constantly trying to rape the other, you would have my occasional situation with some of my cats. 

Then again I've had so many cats my entire life that I've just about experienced every single personality and mental quirk a feline can have. 

Except for Pun's cat that has a testicle fetish.
The pen is truly mightier than the sword.  And considerably easier to write with.


Offline Just plain old Punisher

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Well Clark, your cats seem perfectly normal.  Now if both cats were male, and one was constantly trying to rape the other, you would have my occasional situation with some of my cats. 

Then again I've had so many cats my entire life that I've just about experienced every single personality and mental quirk a feline can have. 

Except for Pun's cat that has a testicle fetish.

What the hell can I say? I donno why he does it.

Well, maybe it's because I bought the cheap cat food. But it was only that ONE time! How could I have known he could tell the difference between friskies and Generic cat food formula #2 (Now with more lips and assholes !)

Chairman meow needs to loose weight too. Used to only startle me awake. Now when he goes on his ball pouncing expedition, he makes me do the "Oh sh*t that hurts" dance.

"Sex is a lot like pizza.  If you're not careful you can blister your tongue". -Dracho

Offline Centurus

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Well Clark, your cats seem perfectly normal.  Now if both cats were male, and one was constantly trying to rape the other, you would have my occasional situation with some of my cats. 

Then again I've had so many cats my entire life that I've just about experienced every single personality and mental quirk a feline can have. 

Except for Pun's cat that has a testicle fetish.

What the hell can I say? I donno why he does it.

Well, maybe it's because I bought the cheap cat food. But it was only that ONE time! How could I have known he could tell the difference between friskies and Generic cat food formula #2 (Now with more lips and assholes !)

Chairman meow needs to loose weight too. Used to only startle me awake. Now when he goes on his ball pouncing expedition, he makes me do the "Oh sh*t that hurts" dance.

If you only have your one cat, then the solution might be easy.  Get 2 or 3 more cats, and just let them loose with Chairmain Meow.  They'll be running around and chasing after each other for a while until they get used to each other, and just get one of those self feeders, if you don't already have one.  And if you do, get a second.  Just make sure every morning it's full, and let them have at it.

With the dminished food supply and the increased activity and competition, the chairman should lose weight.

If that doesn't work, you could always try Jenny Craig.
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Offline Just plain old Punisher

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Naw I have two, I got him a buddy a year or so back, pol pot.

I think he just likes to torment me.

"Sex is a lot like pizza.  If you're not careful you can blister your tongue". -Dracho

Offline Centurus

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Naw I have two, I got him a buddy a year or so back, pol pot.

I think he just likes to torment me.

One of my cats used to love to stratch and bite me.  So one day I bit her back on her tail.  She never bit me again.  Still claws me, but only when she's so in a love mood that she just uses her claws when massaging my arm or hand.

You could always flick the cats twins the next time he decides to jump on your nertz.
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Offline Nemesis

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I think he just likes to torment me.

I hoped you named him Centurus. 
Do unto others as Frey has done unto you.
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Offline Centurus

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I think he just likes to torment me.

I hoped you named him Centurus. 

I don't torment Punisher.  He and I are partners in crime.  I do however thwart his attempts to out-do my insanity.

My rubber chickens torment the Borg.  I'm having to set up Borg farms just to make sure my rubber chickens have a fresh supply to munch on, but they much prefer free range Borg.
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Offline Clark Kent

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As far as I can tell, this is the last one of these that I did.  I'm not sure whether any of the old crew are even still around here in between now and then (especially AlienLXIX, who helped me pick Saber's name), Hot & Spicy has come and gone and then come back again, but another forum arose to take it's place and I kinda stopped checking in when I no longer had a computer I could load SFC onto.  I know this is necro posting, but I'm not sure anyone even remembers this series of posts without the reference available by lifting this post from the dead.

The years since this last story have been fruitful, but altogether lonely.  I came to learn that Saber's two sisters, who I played with at the barn where Saber was born, had gone to a single home and died in a house fire.  A couple years after I wrote this last kitten chronicle my dad, who had been scared to death by Saber falling down a floor and landing right beside his desk in a horrible racket and scaring the bejeezus out of him as well as who would flick his little kitty balls when Saber would stand on his keyboard while he was at said computer passed away.  A couple years after that, despite it being a tumultuous relationship, I moved in with my then girlfriend.  I changed jobs from one that was killing me with the stress and mistreatment from managers to one that has been monotonous and unimaginative, but dependable and satisfying with a manager who I really value and look forward to working for.  The relationship turned even more sour, and I moved out to my own house, then after months of more on again off again, we broke up and since 2016  I have been in this house alone with Saber and his little whore Hidey.

Hidey has never stopped being a handful.  She did lose weight eventually, but it has been a constant struggle to keep it off as she eats EVERYTHING within reach.  She even spent last summer as an outdoor cat because of her issues with litter box training, but I brought her back in and locked her in a room in the basement and still doesn't want to use the litter box.

Saber this whole time has been my rock.  He honestly developed into a cat that didn't do cutesy youtube meme kinds of things.  Every day when I came home from work, he was there at the door to greet me regardless of where we lived or what was going on.  Every night he would curl up as I sat at my desk, either working or playing, and he even got in the habit of just sitting on my lap at the computer, sometimes turning around to rise up on his hind legs to touch his nose to mine, sometimes half crawling up onto the desk to scoop his head under my hand to steal attention away from the mouse, but generally just sitting on my lap purring and snuggling actively there.

He's gotten out a few times at the new house, but comes back quickly, and enjoyed getting out and following me around the yard to barbecue or inspect the day lillies on the front of the house.  He gets into a few things here or there, but there is over 2,000 square feet now to satisfy his need to explore.  He developed a habit of sitting properly beside me when I was at the dinner table and begging for food.  This goes especially for roast turkey, baked salmon or any food of Filipino origin.

The last few years, Saber has gotten into the habit of pawing at the covers until I lift them, especially during naps, and he would curl up snuggled tightly at my side for hours.  Any guest who comes to my home, his habit has been to greet them, then dance around them until they let him lead him around the house so he can offer a full tour of his domicile.  He became an immovable lump whenever I go into the living room to watch TV and lean back on the recliner.

When I have been sick,  Saber has long had the habit if staying by my side, doing everything in his kitty powers to nurse me back to health.  Sitting here alone at the house, he would come to me and look at me, then stare up at me until I talked to him and then he would stare and tip his head to the side like a human would if they were actively listening to you.  If I stopped talking, he would keep prying until I started again, and the sound of me talking would wake him from naps and he would come and sit with me until that conversation was over.

Last summer, he began losing weight.  Eventually, we determined it was a hyperthyroid disorder, and that was a rough go when my sister saw to his new medications while I was out of town and gave him a sum of thirty days of doses in the space of less than three days.  He rebounded, starting gaining weight again, and then it started to come off again, and it was determined that he had a kidney disease, but he adored his new prescription food and devoured it handily, quickly adding weight again as his numbers went back into alignment.

Last week, he came into the sun room and spent several minutes walking in circles as if confused while I was prepping for a conference call in the middle of working from home during this COVID scare.  When I finally looked at him, both of his pupils were fully dilated and itsoon became  apparent that he couldn't see.  The vet informed me high blood pressure had led to his retinas detaching, but with medication it could be managed and they would heal.  I've never been a fan of blood pressure medications, and I'm less of a fan of chasing the dragon of one drug to fix one problem, which throws another bodily function out of whack, which then requires another medication, which then throws another bodily function out of whack, ad infinitum.  But he was blind and going to say that way unless we got his blood pressure under control, and thankfully, within a few days his vision did return, and life started to go back to normal.

In the followup email on Friday, the doctor was optimistic that all was well and he was progressing.

He didn't eat the entire weekend.

By Monday, I reported this change first thing in the morning before they opened, but thanks to COVID restrictions the vet had no room to take him in again until the next day.  When I did bring him in on Tuesday, they reported that his blood pressure was "lovely" and his eyesight was nearly back to normal.  The bad news was that his kidneys had failed and he was no longer producing red blood cells.

Yesterday, Wednesday, we spent the day here together, and I checked on him regularly through the morning as he moved between the reading room, the bathroom and his kennel in the kitchen.  Occasionally I brought him to the sun room to sit on a heating pat since I noticed he was hanging out by the heating vent in the reading room.  At lunch time, he was walking rather stiffly and would go to his food bowl or water dish and stare for a long moment, then go to lie down.

By mid afternoon, he was staggering and his rear legs giving out and he would only be able to walk to the next room before stopping and lying down. 

I made dinner, and watched him while it baked, then realized that he couldn't walk across the room any longer.  Once I was finished swallowing my dinner, I wrapped him up in towels and a heating pad and brought him to the living room where we sat and watched TV until he insisted on crawling away, and he needed assistance to get down to the floor, where he lay until I picked him up again and brought him to bed, however, he refused to lie down, so I put a heating pad in his kennel, a baby blanket over it and he immediately dragged his mostly limp body into the kennel where he stayed, next to my bed, the remainder of the night.

When I woke up at 1:49 am to use the bathroom, he looked up at me.  I petted him and told him I loved him.

He died a short while later.

He was scheduled for euthanasia tomorrow afternoon.

I have had many pets in my life and always an affinity for animals.  A house without a dog or a cat is just a house, not a home, but among the many pets I have had, this one is the only one I have had that has hung on my every action or word and shown such unwavering dedication.  Despite my lifetime of experiences with animals and pets, I had no idea an animal, especially a cat, could be so warm, caring and dedicated despite my many, many flaws.  As I sit here, thinking back to my first moments with him, playing while sitting on the floor in a barn in a no name township in Minnesota and that first drive away from said barn to take him to his new home where he cried and wailed at being taken from his mother and siblings, until he curled up on my lap and slept so soundly that I could carry him in one hand into the house without him even waking up, I realize that whatever I have done for him pales in comparison to all he has done for me through the years.  My cat is a better person that I am.  I've never even met a dog that is as faithful and steadfast as Saber has been to me.

Here ends the kitten chronicles. 

http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163357654.msg1122586962.html#msg1122586962
http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163342659.msg1122388392.html#msg1122388392
http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163343326.msg1122397103.html#msg1122397103
http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163344613.msg1122416260.html#msg1122416260
http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163345196.msg1122425150.html#msg1122425150
http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163350343.msg1122496841.html#msg1122496841
« Last Edit: May 14, 2020, 08:01:33 am by Clark Kent »
CK

But tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or fix this hole in a mother's son?
Can you heal the broken worlds within?
Can you strip away so we may start again?
Tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or cut this rope and let us run?
Just when all seems fine, and I'm pain free, you jab another pin,
Jab another pin in me
-Metallica

Offline Nemesis

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My condolences, it is always sad losing a friend. 
Do unto others as Frey has done unto you.
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Offline Javora

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That is so sad.  Good seeing you again Clark, hope you get a chance to stop by Pun’s place sometime...

Offline Clark Kent

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Thanks nem, javora.  It's really good to hear again from you too.  I hope this year is treating you both better.

I got a message from Stephen to drop in, but I've lost the password from that site.  I mean, I remember most of the passwords I used from that time but I only get 4 chances to get it right and there are several passwords and iterations of each password for me to go through and I can't recover the password because that site is tied to my old AOL account that AOL won't let me reactivate.
CK

But tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or fix this hole in a mother's son?
Can you heal the broken worlds within?
Can you strip away so we may start again?
Tell me, can you heal what father's done?
Or cut this rope and let us run?
Just when all seems fine, and I'm pain free, you jab another pin,
Jab another pin in me
-Metallica

Offline Javora

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When I have time I’ll PM Pun and let him know.  Getting ready to walk into work now...

Offline Nemesis

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I just had 3 weeks vacation and when I come back instead of to half hours were on full time with expansion planned.  So much for my continued "rest" for the summer. 
Do unto others as Frey has done unto you.
Seti Team    Free Software
I believe truth and principle do matter. If you have to sacrifice them to get the results you want, then the results aren't worth it.
 FoaS_XC : "Take great pains to distinguish a criticism vs. an attack. A person reading a post should never be able to confuse the two."